Social Question

Akua's avatar

Have you ever known someone and you avoided going to their home?

Asked by Akua (4730points) September 5th, 2010

I had a friend (note: past tense) and I hated going to her house and being her friend. It was disgusting. There would be chicken bones tucked in the sofa and she would literally throw away dirty clothes rather than wash them. She would call her children obscene names and hit them with whatever was handy and cheat on her husband. Over the years I tried to sever our friendship but she just would not go away! Finally I just moved and never told her where I lived. Not too long ago she emailed me about a mutual friend of ours who passed away. I ignored the email. I’m puzzled at why this woman wants to be my friend so bad when it’s obvious I hate her. Know anyone like this?

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15 Answers

muppetish's avatar

Yes, sadly. I was friends with two girls and going to their house was an absolute nightmare. It always smelled very strongly of cigarettes (both her parents were chain smokers) and her mother in particular was always a nightmare. They always had arguments and family troubles. It just reached a point where neither my parents nor I wanted any association with their household. They still live nearby. I haven’t spoken to any of them since I was in middle school. The oldest daughter, apparently, still thinks fondly of us and wishes we could catch up some time. I really don’t even know what I would say to her.

I also made it a point to only go to a certain friend’s house if her father wasn’t around. They weren’t on very good terms and it made me uncomfortable. Her mother filed for divorce after her children graduated from high school and they’re much happier.

Deja_vu's avatar

People like that annoy me. The ones that are so oblivious to what kind of people they are, and they pick friends like they are going shopping. The worst is if you don’t want to befriend them, it’s like you wronged them in some way. That’s just plain mental. Even worse if they find you on facebook. I hate that.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My best friend’s house when we were kids. There were 3 kids, the mom worked and the dad spent his days working on his car collection. The house smelled like moldy laundry and there were toys and clothes strewn everywhere. The sofa and chairs usually had spilled drinks and foods crusted into them. The tabletops always sticky. Ick. Because she was a little older then it was expected she’d watch over and entertain the other two during the day so if we wanted to play, it was over there. I never wanted to eat over or sleep over.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Yes, my ex. ‘Nuff said.

Akua's avatar

@Deja_vu I do believe that you’re right and that her insistence on being my friend was purely a mental thing. Like she wanted control me. This woman was the worst friend I have ever had and her aura was so negatively strong that anyone I introduced to her immediately disliked her. It was amazing how many people told me that she was evil and they couldn’t stand her. Everytime I avoided her for a long time, she would cry to me about how lonely she had been without my friendship, I would feel bad for her but then she would turn around and do heinous things, like make a pass at my boyfriends. She was a horrible mother and her daughters used to cry to me and beg me to take them to live with me.

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

Yes, I have a cousin like this. She knows I don’t like her but everytime she sees me she asks me if I wanna come stay the night with her.

Deja_vu's avatar

@Akua Oh my! That’s totally happened to me. It’s seems so similar to this girl I know. It’s hard dealing with people like that when you’re naturally a kind hearted person. I avoid her completely. The other week I ran into her at this art walk and she was trying to make me feel bad for not hanging with her. She is so horrible and went after guys I dated. Even acted jealous of me without trying to hid it. I think she’s totally insane. I understand completely.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Deja_vu You said, “he ones that are so oblivious to what kind of people they are,” Very well said. It’s true too…and for the life of me I can’t figure out HOW they can be so obvious!!

Akua's avatar

@Deja_vu @Dutchess_III they really don’t have a clue. Everything is someone else’s fault. They don’t see themselves clearly and the few times I have pointed out something she has done she will DENY, DENY, DENY. She has an excuse for everything. I just think she is a psychopath. The reallt scary part is that she has a twin sister. They are exactly alike.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Akua Wow. I don’t get it. I think I’m pretty brutally honest with myself.

I just posted a Q inspired by this question…..

Deja_vu's avatar

@Akua @Dutchess_III
I know it’s so bizzare. Sociopathic, borderline personality disorder types, indeed.

Austinlad's avatar

Living alone as I do, I’m generally pleased and flattered to be invited to friends’ homes, especially for holidays.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Austinlad Consider yourself invited for Thanksgiving!!

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

Yeah. I didn’t really have a choice. An old best friend used to go to her sister’s every single time we went out. I couldn’t stand her sister or her roommate.

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