Social Question

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

How are you? Really.

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (33160points) September 5th, 2010

We hear the question countless times throughout the day, “How are you?” and we give automatic responses with varying enthusiasm.

Since this is an anonymous collective, why can’t we be honest with each other and ourselves? How are you really doing? How is life?

Me? Thanks for asking. Things could be better, or things could be worse. I’ve had some moderate to severe losses in my life over the summer. Things went horribly wrong with two plays I was involved in, requiring the firing of two actors in one of the plays and the cancellation of the other play. An uncle and a good friend both died. And I may have broken one of my front teeth below the gumline.

But things couldn’t be better with my kids. We’re closer than ever and enjoy being with each other. That means the world to me.

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56 Answers

kenmc's avatar

I believe I caught a cold.

OwlofHappiness's avatar

I could do better. I have a bit of a cold, and I am extremely tired.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@hawaii_jake I’m sorry you’ve had a rough summer and I hope things get better for you soon.

I’m doing okay. This deployment is getting harder to deal with as time goes on. I miss my husband more and more each day. Each time the Army changes their plans for when this deployment is going to end, my heart aches a little. They’ve changed the possible date several times and now it’s at the farthest point away it’s ever been. The day my husband told me that I cried so much and then I punched my door in anger. It’s so weird having so much sadness and anger at one time. Part of me hates being in Kansas while the rest of my family in on the East coast. It gets really lonely sometimes. I miss going out with my friends back east. I still talk to them, but it’s not the same. I think the hardest part for me is that I don’t want to tell people when I’m feeling down because I don’t want my family to feel like they can’t help me because they are so far away. I know my mom hates being away and wishes she could do more for us.

On the bright side, my son and I have been able to spend a lot of time together these past 8 months which has been great. I’m volunteering in his classroom for the first time ever and I love it. My husband is getting ready to come home for his 2 week R&R which I can’t wait for. I can’t wait to have him home again. I’ve met several other wives here and have made some really great friends. We keep busy when we can and help each other out as much as possible.

I feel much better getting all of that out. Thanks for the queston @hawaii_jake.

Blackberry's avatar

I really just feel like I would be complaining, and complaining does does nothing. I know what I have to do to fix my problems, so I’m doing it. I’m upset and frustrated at how one choice from my past ruined my stability and is the reason I have so many problems now. It already happened so I just have to deal with it, but I get more and more apathetic everyday.

Dutchess_III's avatar

EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! We’re on our (hopefully) last big push to get the house ready for sale. All of the realtors in our town are scheduled to do a group tour on Tuesday. We have been busting our asses every single weekend, 8 to 10 hours a day, since the weekend of July 24th, as well as doing stuff before and after work. Today I painted the stairwell from hell….

Well, you asked!

SeventhSense's avatar

I have no idea what me is so I’m always in a dream. And yet ironically, I feel the need to be a very private person for self preservation. If I am seen or labeled or identified with some normal or average human condition I resent the person “making me feel” that way. I like to be unseen except I have a strong attraction to being seen. I crave stability, but the only problem is that it will never exist for me, so please don’t ask me such questions.
I am comfortably numb.

ChocolateReigns's avatar

I’m actually pretty good! My asthma’s getting annoying, but I’m used to that. I’m looking forward to the rest of my life. I’ve been doing some thinking, about these last three years and the next part of life. I’m starting 9th grade tomorrow. I know, no big deal, but I realized this is a new chapter in my life. I’ve also been thinking a lot about my best friend and her mom, who has cancer. It’s been an interesting day.

TexasDude's avatar

I’m kind of crappy.

My anxiety that I thought I had conquered long ago is starting to rear its ugly head again, in force.

SeventhSense's avatar

@ChocolateReigns
Enjoy your first day of high school.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Whitsoxdude : Great!
@boots : Yuck. I hate colds. Get well soon.
@OwlofHappiness : I know you’re an owl and stay out all night and all that, but try and get some rest.
@Seaofclouds : Thank you for sharing. Really.
@Blackberry : I hope things get better soon.
@Dutchess_III : Good luck with the realtors!
@SeventhSense : Okay.
@ChocolateReigns : Congrats on starting 9th grade.
@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard : Whip that anxiety into shape. I use meds to keep mine at bay.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Aww I’m sorry to hear about your summer, may they Rest in peace. But good that you and your kids are doing great. It’s good to hear that.

For me….I could be better…Friends suck (school friends) Love life sucks, Sometimes humans suck in general to (not to offend anyone, but I’m just being honest here.) But the good thing is my drumming is picking up and my furry friends understands me more than my school friends, so that’s good.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@hawaii_jake I can’t whine too much….I stupidly drank rum and diet coke last night KNOWING it would jack me up today. Like to have kilt myself painting! But…I paid the price. Things will be better, easier tomorrow….

Seaofclouds's avatar

@boots and @OwlofHappiness I hope you guys feel better soon. Try to get some rest.
@Dutchess_III I hope the group tour goes well and you find a buyer for your house soon.
@ChocolateReigns I hope your first day of 9th grade goes well. I know how annoying asthma can be and I hope yours improves soon.
@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I hope your anxiety gets better soon. It sucks when things pop back up after being controlled and laying dormant for a long time.
@Vincent_Lloyd I hope things get better for you soon with your school friends.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@ChocolateReigns IS IN 9TH GRADE?????? No freaking WAY!!!!!! What does it mean when my bestest internet friends turn out to be KIDS????

TexasDude's avatar

@hawaii_jake and @Seaofclouds, thanks guys. (also, condolences)

SeventhSense's avatar

@Dutchess_III
Your a pedophile? :)

jazmina88's avatar

Jake…Ugh…I hate the dentist.
I usually say “Hangin” when people ask me how I am to avoid the real answer.
I’m havin an awful fibro flare. Pain has turned me into a snarky broad.

YARNLADY's avatar

I wrenched my back last week, but it’s getting better every day. I’m all excited about an upcoming trip, and getting packed.

mYcHeMiCaLrOmAnCe's avatar

I’m waiting for something to happen and it’s driving me crazy. in a good way, but still…. crazy
I’m soooo angry with my computer because it just stopped working while I was writing and I couldn’t save my story…. I wrote like a whole new chapter and I was so happy because it was so awesome…. and now it’s gone.
my mother thinks I’m obsessed with edward scissorhands (you know? the movie?) because I’ve watched it 13 times in 4 days (annnnd I’m watching it right now)
yesterday night I was listening to a great song and was um…. dancing (?) to it (I actually was jumping all around the living room) and I think I hit my head against something but I’m not sure what it was. it could be the floor, a wall, the tv, my mom, anything.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Tense but optimistic. I’m not the best person with change even though I have had change every few years forever now. I think if I ever got my dream of security, stability, love and happiness then the world would implode.~

chels's avatar

Impatient.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@SeventhSense No! But….I find myself relating to them before I have any idea how old they are! Like, joking around, being silly….. Maybe I’m immature or something! Or….a kid at heart?

SeventhSense's avatar

@Dutchess_III
Some of them are quite mature.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd : Sorry so much sucks.
@jazmina88 : Wow! Sorry to hear about the fibro pain. Hope it stops soon.
@YARNLADY : Enjoy your trip!
@mYcHeMiCaLrOmAnCe : Don’t you just love/hate computers?
@Neizvestnaya : I don’t deal well with change either.
@chels : Don’t forget to breathe.

chels's avatar

@hawaii_jake Breathing is easy – it’s the waiting that I’m having trouble with :).

faye's avatar

I had a great drive with a friend today, Alberta fall weather, a little crisp. I burned the beets I was cooking for pickles and now I’m in bed moaning about my back. So up and down. It’s a nice question- always feels good to talk it out.

YARNLADY's avatar

@faye It sounds like the season for aching backs.

le_inferno's avatar

I’m okay. I’ve been up at school for a few days, and I thought these days before class started would be really fun, but they were pretty boring. I felt really lonely for a few nights, but my roommate just moved in today, so now I feel much better :) I really hope I make some more friends this year, because my boyfriend isn’t around and I need to stay distracted.

I’m in the same boat as @Seaofclouds, because my boyfriend is studying abroad til mid-November. I probably won’t get to see him til around Thanksgiving, and he’s been away since July 5. It’s really, really hard. I miss him so much. It’s been worse the past few lonely nights, cause all I could do was focus on missing him. I was distracted enough during the summer, and we were able to Skype almost every day. He’s been on vacation for about a week now, so I haven’t been able to really talk to him at all. Sometimes I just try and remember what it felt like to kiss him. It feels so long ago. I often mentally reconstruct our moments together, it helps a bit to remember.

Frenchfry's avatar

I have a bad tooth way in the back and I hate dentists.
I am not as peachy as I want to be.

Berserker's avatar

Trying to get drunk. I feel, like, not really anything right now as far as my day, or current emotional state is concerned. Besides that though, things could be very much worse.

I’m in limbo lol. Wait I just laughed. I feel alright. If you dun believe it, that’s not my problem ya damn cynic. Joking lol. :)

daytonamisticrip's avatar

Right now I’m tired and a little angry because i was woke up by strange animal sounds outside my window. But in the long run I’m happy because tuesday I’m finally back in school
GOOD NIGHT!.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@faye : Sounds good and bad. :)
@le_inferno : I hope school makes the days fly by.
@Frenchfry : My tooth hurts, too.
@Symbeline : lol.
@daytonamisticrip : Good luck back at school!

Berserker's avatar

@hawaii_jake Do I AMUSE you perhaps lol

Haleth's avatar

I’m so sorry you lost two close people this summer.

Great question, very perceptive. I say “how are you” to people all the time and really don’t care how they are like 90% of the time.

I’m making decent progress toward being a responsible adult. I finally started driving around 6 months ago (age 22)- I was scared of driving for ages. I’m doing well professionally. I love my job and like and respect everyone I work with. Our VP had some great feedback for me and my manager about the store, and we have some of the strongest sales in the company. I have lots of enthusiasm and the desire to work hard and succeed- I just really hope this comes across. And I love paid vacations! I’m taking one in a week.

My personal life is in a shambles. I just ended a long relationship that I was really invested in- still not sure if it was the right decision. Everything was perfect, but my attraction and romantic feelings for him gradually faded. I think we’d make great friends if he was ever willing. Meanwhile, I realized that I spent most of my free time with the boyfriend and let my own friendships fall by the wayside. I’m starting to get back in touch with everyone. My best friend is leaving in two weeks to go to grad school 500 miles away, so we’re going to the beach together next weekend.

My birthday is coming up in a month, and every year my dad always has dinner with me but without the rest of the family. It’s just a painful reminder of the relationship we don’t have the rest of the year. My stepmother has made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want me around, so I see my family on my birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I’m not sure how my dad feels about it, or how to handle it. I think it’s just a tough couple weeks and that things will be looking up soon… I’m definitely not this mopey normally. Yikes!

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Symbeline : I love that you’re trying to get drunk. I’ll bet you succeed.

Berserker's avatar

@hawaii_jake I’m like Xena dude, I never fail. XD

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Haleth : I’m glad work is going so well for you. I, too, have had periods in the past when work was great and my personal life was a mess and vice versa. I hope yours gets better soon. Good luck having dinner with your dad.

TexasDude's avatar

@Haleth, here’s to finding your silver lining! *raises glass

Frenchfry's avatar

@hawaii_jake Well it looks like we both get to go to the dentists. I am about to say just pull them all get dentures. LOL Save a ton of money.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Frenchfry : Yikes! The dentist? Aw, do I have to?

Frenchfry's avatar

@hawaii_jake I would just grin and bare it. Better then being in pain.

chocolatechip's avatar

@hawaii_jake “How are you?”

Yo, what up man?

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Not well, my past mistakes have really caught up with me and things are not going well. I am trying to put things right, but it is slightly late if not impossible.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@hawaii_jake : I love that you ask Qs like this and throw parties that make us feel good, and care so much your fellow creatures. You win a couple of ”Wonderfullest Guy” awards. Focus on how great things are with your kids and the other stuff, although important, loses some of its negative power.
I love hearing about everyone. I wish good things for all.
I’m actually just fine here, really and hoping it stays that way for awhile.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@chocolatechip : Other than what I wrote in the details to the question above, I have a sleeping problem. For the last week or so, I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night at 3 or 4 for no apparent reason. I don’t need to go to the bathroom, which can be a sign of other physical problems. It’s damned inconvenient and frustrating.

@ZEPHYRA : I wish I knew magic words to make it all right, but all I can say is that I wish you the best.

@JilltheTooth : I’m glad to hear things are just fine. That’s wonderful. We did have a fun party, didn’t we?

ZEPHYRA's avatar

@hawaii_jake thanks for those words, they mean so much. Hope things are going smoothly for you!

Facade's avatar

I’m ok.

ChocolateReigns's avatar

@SeventhSense and @Dutchess_III Yeah, I’ve been told I’m mature by people on Fluther quite a few times. Ironic how people in real life don’t quite agree.

free_fallin's avatar

I should find out tomorrow the results from the biopsy the Vet did on my beloved dog. I have cried, screamed and then cuddled with her as much as possible. My heart will break over this. At the same time, everything else in my life is really good. My work is going well, I’m looking into other positions in other states, I’m playing tennis almost every night, I’ve made terrific new friends on fluther and I’ve fallen in love.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Facade : Yay!
@free_fallin : Oh, I want your dog to be okay. I heart goes out to both of you.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@ChocolateReigns Wow you’ve been told that also? But I agree with you at least.

mYcHeMiCaLrOmAnCe's avatar

@hawaii_jake I love and hate computers at the same time

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