If you're getting married, how do you tell/invite your gay friends?

In the U.S., where gay men and women cannot enjoy the rights of married couples, how much do you (or do you think you should) take that into consideration? Do you think it’s any of your concern? And how much would you defend yourself if called on about your method of telling or inviting your friend (e.g., would you tolerate any criticism, even if neutral? Would you take it into consideration in how you went forward with the marriage?).

Further, in states where you can get a domestic partnership, do you think this exacerbates the issue (if any)? And if you’re currently married, do you consider how your gay friends feel about that in any way?

Thanks!