General Question

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

When times get tough, are you likely to stick it out or move on to the next best thing?

Asked by ItalianPrincess1217 (11979points) September 8th, 2010

Life is short. When you experience significant relationship problems with your spouse/partner, how do you cope? What thoughts run through your head? Do you wonder if it’d be easier to leave and find a person you’re more compatible with? Or do you give it your best effort and hope all will work out in the end between the two of you? What happens when all your days become consumed by working on relationship issues and yet, nothing ever seems to get resolved? At what point would you say, enough is enough, and walk away?

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11 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

When you ask a question like this, I think it’s time to walk.

A question like this means you’ve been thinking about it a lot and you are asking for support. You probably want to know if you’ll be ok.

There’s a difference between it being the times and it being the person. Tough times lead to many a divorce and breakup. But think about it. This shows you how a person responds to tough times. Do you think there will never again be other tough times?

chyna's avatar

Tough question. I worked with a lady that had undergone marriage counseling for over 20 years. In the end, they finally divorced. To me, it seemed exactly as you put it, all your days become consumed by working on relationship issues for them. How much effort is the S/O willing to put in? None, some, alot? Marriage vows mean a lot to me, but in my own marriage, I gave it a year to improve and when it didn’t, I cut the ties then.

wgallios's avatar

If you’re young, I would say move on, be happy. No need to force something that isn’t meant to be.

It makes me happier knowing my ex and I are happier apart then we are together. If you both are on that same page, why keep trying? It’s not the end of the world, and there will always be more people.

jrpowell's avatar

I find that non-family relationships are best to walk away from when they become a hassle. I don’t hang with out or fuck people that cause me grief.

Being alone is being better than being treated like shit.

tranquilsea's avatar

My husband and I have been through times of tremendous challenge that lasted a long time. We stuck together though all of it. But the big caveat here is that we both knew we wanted to work things out and we worked hard to do so. If either of us had been unwilling to work it out I don’t think we’d have stayed together.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’ve always tried to tough it out, give it my best and hope my efforts will elicit the ones from my partner I want in return. Two people need to be able to talk to each other without feeling intimidated or ridiculed about their feelings, their wants, their expectations and what kinds of plans and compromises they can make as a couple to get what they need and want. One person’s devotion, effort and love cannot charm or earn the whole ball of wax.

BarnacleBill's avatar

What happens when all your days become consumed by working on relationship issues and yet, nothing ever seems to get resolved?

That sounds like either one person doesn’t want it to work out—they want to win, or there is a huge fundamental difference that is more important to one party than the relationship working out.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

What happens when all your days become consumed by working on relationship issues and yet, nothing ever seems to get resolved?

To me that means one person is lazy and/or is taking the relationship for granted as if just saying you’re in love will keep everything on autopilot.

Seaofclouds's avatar

When I was dating, if something came up that put a strain on the relationship, I moved on. Dating was about finding the person that would be the best for me and me the best for him.

Not that I’ve found that person, I intend to work through any issue that comes our way as long as he is willing to work through it as well. We work very well together and I have faith that as long as we are both want to be together, we will be able to work through anything that comes up.

BratLady's avatar

My husband and I have been through situations most couples would have divorced over. We were married young but knew it takes a lot of give and take on both sides to work at a marriage so we’ve always talked our problems out, yelled at each other but remembered why we love each other. 41 years is too many for either of us to walk out on.

CMaz's avatar

It comes down to, when is it enough for you. When have you had enough and when have you covered all the bases.

Life is too short to burn it up, if that special someone is not so special.

It took me 20 years to discover what I should have done six months into the relationship.

I soooo wish I had those 20 years back. Without her of course. ;-)

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