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Kokoro's avatar

How do you pick yourself back up after a disappointment?

Asked by Kokoro (1419points) September 8th, 2010

I was recently moved to a different section, and though nobody said anything about my doing my job inadequately, I feel like it was because of that. I don’t know if I am making up nonsense in my head to make myself feel bad, or if I am right, but I do know that it doesn’t matter. Right? I am trying to embrace this change but I end up just clinging on to all the negativity of it. Why do I do this? More importantly, how can I rid of it?

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8 Answers

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I talk about it with trusted friends. I write about it. I eat ice cream. I meditate on it. And I eat chocolate.

lsdh182's avatar

@hawaii_jake Ice cream and chocolate should be prescribed by doctors after disappointments. @Kokoro If you feel hurt by the move maybe seek out a trustworthy (ish) co worker and ask confidently why they think you were moved on, if you’d prefer not to know brush it off of your shoulder DO NOT cling on and try and see positives in the change. If none of this works convince yourself you were TOO good for them, I know I would ‘cos at the end of the day you don’t need stress and sleepless nights. Especially if the job at hand didn’t offer a proper explanation as to why you were moved, if that is the case they’re not worth it :) Good luck in your new section.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d bring it up with your immediate superior or whoever it was that suggested the change. Ask for the reasons behind so you can get around the inadequate feelings and be able to concentrate on moving forward.

marinelife's avatar

I would also ask about why the change. If it is bad news at least you would know. You can also tell your supervisor that you would like to improve your performance so you would like some specifics to work on.

Not knowing is harder than knowing.

Once you get the answer, look forward. Look at how you can do the specific things your supervisor tells you to do.

ducky_dnl's avatar

You just have to know it’s a part of life. Things happen and we know that. The problem is that we can never accept it. I usually don’t talk about my disappointments that much. It’s not a good idea, but it’s how I cope.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Do you feel that way because you were a bad fit for the job, or do you feel that way because you were slacking off and feel guilty about it? If the first is true, then they did you a favor. If the second is true, it’s fixable.

One of my favorite quotes is from Einstein – “Most people miss opportunities because it shows up in overalls and looks like work.”

I was transferred to a different department 10 months ago, from a corporate area to an operational area. Four months later, 100 of 150 people were laid off from my old department. One of the first things I did to cope was make a list of positives – the parking was better in the new place, the health club was cheaper. There were fewer places to eat out, but that meant I would save more money. We can wear casual clothes to work. I wasn’t the only person working overtime. All those things made me feel a whole lot better.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’d talk to a supervisor to be sure as well. It could be that they felt your skills would be better put to use in the new section. Once you know for sure you can go from there. If it was because of inadequate performance, this is your opportunity to fix that. If it was not because of inadequate performance, you can be happy that they think that your skills are valuable to this new section and continue to do good work.

Jeruba's avatar

You should be getting regular performance reviews to let you know how you’re doing in comparison with whatever measures they use in your job. You should know if they think you need to improve; it shouldn’t be guesswork. Either you should find out what your areas for improvement are and what changes they suggest you make or you should learn that you’re doing well and your reassignment had something to do with best use of resources.

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