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ducky_dnl's avatar

Have you ever felt lost inside yourself?

Asked by ducky_dnl (5384points) September 8th, 2010

I feel like I have no idea who I am as a person. I knew the person I wanted to be, but now I’m unsure of being her. I hate myself as a person and I’m very confused. I want to drop everything, but I don’t have a life where I can do that. I want to run away from my life. I want to go where no one knows me and I can stay that way for the rest my life. Every time I think I’m starting to put things back in place, something always comes along and messes it back up. It’s like my life is a vase sitting on a stool. It was kicked over once and I managed to pick up the pieces, but when I was a few pieces away from fixing the vase, somones leg just came out of nowhere and kicked the stool from under the vase and I was back to square one. Have you ever felt like this? I feel like the “good” part of my personality is dying off. I’m screaming for someones help, but no one comes to my rescue. I really have no idea what I’m doing. Help! :(

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18 Answers

Nullo's avatar

I sympathize with your plight. Getting a job – heck just having a plan for a job – helped to straighten me out a bit.

Do you still know who you want to be? If you do, you have a goal. Make a plan, starting from the goal, working backwards to where you are now. Then execute the plan. Reality has a way of catching up at the worst times, so it’s better to throw yourself in at the get-go.
Things are bound to be rocky; that’s simply inevitable when you’ve got as many variable factors in life as we do these days. That’s when you reach out to your support networks.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

That is word for word what I have been my entire life. I totally know exactly what you mean. It sucks major. What I do is find things about myself that I love, persevere, and keep on keeping on. It’s really hard to do. But you can overcome it. The absolute best thing that I’ve found is to get compliments from people. Whether it’s asking for it or just from random people. There’s something good and wonderful about everyone. It’s normal for you to feel this way, do not worry about it.

kenmc's avatar

Perpetually. Such is why I take pictures, write, play guitar, and drink.

talljasperman's avatar

I felt like that… then I quit my job and moved home…now I’m better

WestRiverrat's avatar

I felt like that when I was living in the city. Moved back to the country and am almost as happy as a clam.

shniernan's avatar

It sucks right? And just when you’re so close to being ok, you just get tipped over the edge again? Ugh… yeah I know where you’re coming from. My suggestion…. Well…. do you listen to music?

I used to listen to a lot of music back when i was really depressed… and the music fit my mood, so its like i could never get out of it… but then my brother broke my ipod, and i started healing again. And then well…. another thing happened, so i just ditched all my friends and stayed alone for a while and look how i turned out!!!! O.o I mean…. yeah…

Ben_Dover's avatar

I used to feel that way. But then I found myself and I am quite content with who I am, what I do, and where I am going.

You can do it to. If I can do it, anyone can.

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nebule's avatar

I’ve felt like this often and still do at times. I think it’s important to try and focus on what makes you happy and do that as often as possible. I can’t remember who it was but I read recently that obstacles are there to make sure we do what we are most passionate about…they test our passion and are not intended to derail you completely. Perhaps you just need to rest for a while, get silent and think about what you want in your life x

janbb's avatar

It really sounds to me like you would benefit from being with a good therapist. I did and after years of intermittent unhappiness, I now have a solid core of knowing who I am. That isn’t to say I don’t have peaks and troughs, but they are nowhere near the downs I used to have. It is much harder to do this deep work on your own, look for a good counselor or therapist. And if the first doesn’t work out, keep searching until you find someone you can work with.

MissA's avatar

@ducky_dnl I think we all get to that spot or near it, in our lives. The trick is to not linger too long. You have to find out what will springboard you out of there. What DOES make you happy, if even for a little while? Spend some time there…write how you would like the next chapter of your life to look. Keep that up…make dates with yourself and look at it like an opportunity to get to know the other side of you.

Do you want to share what the things were that knocked you down when you were almost ‘there’?

CMaz's avatar

I know how you feel. I get that from time to time. You will be ok.

Such is life.

marinelife's avatar

You sound like you need to work with a therapist. That is the help that you are crying out for.

In the meantime, you have to learn to love yourself. Consider reading the book Self Parenting which helps make more audible your inner dialogues (The leg that comes out of nowhere to kick over the vase that is you.).

SamIAm's avatar

I think this is something that a lot of people face, maybe when they’re 14, or 17 or 25. And I think it’s probably something you will experience at different phases throughout your life (especially your early life), I know I have/am.

I don’t have an answer but I can tell you that moving to a place where no one knows you, will NOT change you… you will still be the same person, and will still make the same “mistakes” or exhibit the same personality traits that you wish you didn’t have.

It’s part of growing up and finding out who you are. Running from these experiences will only hinder you in the future… as I said, this is something that you may go through again and again, and if you don’t start coping with it now, you won’t know how to deal in the future.

but don’t worry, you’re not alone

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No, not inside myself but caught up with and lost inside a person I loved more than they loved themselves and me, yes. Work has always given structure to my life and a feeling of safety to be able to plan and hope for lifestyle changes.

MissA's avatar

@Neizvestnaya…know what you mean there. It breathes new meaning to the word ‘pain’.

artichowl's avatar

I know how you feel. It was like i was walking around aimlessly. You say that no one has come to your rescue you but me and everyone else here has come to help. do you want to pm

YARNLADY's avatar

When I was a child I used to feel that way frequently, but those days are long past.

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