How do you suggest I get out of this circle of self-destructive behaviour?

Most people struggle with their weight, I understand this. However, I seem to have got myself into a pattern of self-destructive behaviour that I can’t get out of.

Brief History: I’ve been doing weight watchers for a year and have lost two stone, which got me down to 11 stone. I did lose another seven pounds but have put it back on, plus some more. When I got to 11 stone before I plateaued and really struggled to lose more. Then I started seeing someone and just didn’t need to eat much…so I lost the extra 7 pounds…I felt amazing.

Anyway, then I went on my holiday and ate loads, put on a little weight and shortly after I got back I stopped seeing this man and started eating. I think the problem lies in my belief that I just can’t lose weight without there being something else (a man?) in my life.

Anyway, every day I think to myself, I’m going to do it! But I fail and just keep eating, so I feel bad about myself and eat more and because I’m eating more and piling on the weight I think, what’s the point? I’m just a naturally fat person! I know that the key to weight loss is consistency but I can’t even seem to get off the ground.

I know I felt great before and I try visualising that person, living that life, but the visualisation seems to fade so quickly. It’s making me really miserable though. I find myself chastising myself every other day and wanting to get back on the diet wagon, but I think I have failed so many times now I’ve lost all belief in myself….so I’m back to square one. Any suggestions would be most welcome.

Thank you x