What is your favorite old phrase or saying?

Don’t count your chicks till they hatch, and whatever doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.

I have two.
“You Can’t Judge A Book By Looking At Its Cover”.
“You Never Have A Second Chance To Make A First Impression”.

“You can’t make a silk purse, out of a sow’s ear.”

@john65pennington Don’t both of those contradict one another? :p

Giving something “the old college try”, as in giving it your best shot. I’ve never been able to figure out what that actually refers to, and I’ve looked it up. I like it because without knowing what it refers to, it’s nonsense.

Symbeline, i have never thought of it this way, but you may be correct. no matter, both sayings have true merit and have stood the test of time.

he who is impatient waits twice

the 7 “P’s” – Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

Getting two birds stoned at once

I’m from the south. My favourite is “Well aint that cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.” (:

@ducky_dnl, I was raised in the NW, that’s new to me, and I love it! That’s just great!

That reminds me of one I heard when I was in the south: “It’s raining harder than a cow pissing on a flat rock.” That was a perfect visual.

Just one my grandmother used to say. I don’t know if it’s common or not, but anytime anyone would refuse to toss out some old broken thing or would bring home some piece of junk and say “all it needs it a good cleaning” or “all it needs is a good oiling or lubrication” or whatever, she would say “What it needs is a good throwing out.” I’ve always really liked that one.

It’s better than a hole in the head
You don’t have a pot to piss in
A watched kettle never boils

Fish and visitors smell in three days.
~ Poor Richard’s Almanac (Ben Franklin)

Don’t shit where you eat.
@Jabe73 I had a bumpersticker that said that years ago :)

Well, it’s better than being slapped in the face with a wet fish.

“Least said soonest mended”. Grandparents are awesome! :¬)

@Deja_vu I still have that bumper sticker myself (but it is mostly worn out).

@ftp901 My mother used ”...doesn’t have a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out”.
She also would say that someone ”...wouldn’t say ‘sh*t’ if (s)he had a mouthful”

My mom, or someone she heard it from when she was a kid. When referring to something that looks bad: “that’s uglier than a cartload of assholes raked up after dark” Wow! I had to ask her to say that one again the first time she shared.(imagine this being said with New England dialect).

some old dirty ones: “If I had a face like that, I’d have to shave my ass and walk backwards” or “It’s comin outa there faster than bullshit out of a tin-horn”( plumbing leak?) Or some writings inside a construction porta- potty that read: “why are you reading this, the joke is in your hands?” “Here I sit buns-a-flexin, just gave birth to a two pound Texan”- great literary genius in those shithouses.

@woodcutter Holy awesome.

@cockswain thanks, glad to share although I cannot take credit for any of the material

I just thought of one that was popular from my elementery school days. “You think you’re hot shit but you’re really cold diarrhea”.

I remember seeing this couplet on written on a stall back in the days of pay toilets:

Here I sit, all broken hearted,
Paid to sh*t, but only farted.

@Jabe73 -a spin off from that is” you think you’re a hot shit in a champagne glass but you’re really a cold fart in a dixie cup”. gross :/

Champagne taste on a beer budget!

@zzc I’ve had a few customers just like that, non of them repeats.

A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link.

I just remembered one. Some people say or said “busier than a one-armed paper hanger.” My father used to say: “busier than a one-legged ass-kicker.” I’ve always really liked that one.