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Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Whom do you turn to when you have a quandry or in times of trouble?

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (30674points) September 15th, 2010

If you face a difficult situation wherever it may be, who gives you help? Family? Friends? Fluther? Professionals like doctors or lawyers?

Where do you turn first?

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22 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

My wife. Not that I did anything to deserve it. Quite the opposite. I did everything I could to drive her away, but she understood that I was in trouble, and she made sure I got help.

She’s the first one I talk to about any problem, with my job, or the kids, or the home. Whatever. She’s the one I tell all my shit to. Anything that bothers me.

But I wouldn’t expect anything else. Isn’t that part of why you get married? Solve problems together?

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

It depends on what the problem is. I usually deal with things quite well myself, but I always know which friend is the best to talk to for particular problems.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Old friends, mostly. I’ve found that articulating the problem in a comprehensible way is often the first step to understanding the situation. Getting another perspective from someone who knows me well enough to know why and how it affects me is helpful.

Seaofclouds's avatar

My husband is the first person I turn to. If it’s something that I need help with right away and I can’t get in touch with him, I’ll talk to my mom.

Berserker's avatar

I don’t really have anybody so I make up fantasies in my head which help to relieve some of the bad stuff by said fantasies usually having something to do with what ails me. Either way though it’s usually just me going around killing a buncha people.

That, or get a drunk.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Symbeline : Hey, would somebody get Symbeline a valium before she wastes us all? lol.


aprilsimnel's avatar

My sister G. We weren’t born sisters, and she’s actually old enough to be my mom, but when I need a friendly nudge to take responsibility for my choices, she’s the one who’ll do it in an affirming, non-judgemental way.

Jeruba's avatar

My husband first. For some things a close friend, for others my elder son, who is doing a pretty good job of acting like a responsible adult.

There are other things that I just have to work through all by myself.

sliceswiththings's avatar

I called my mom tonight to discuss my boy problems. The point was for me to cry and for my mom to say, “I know it’s tough sweetie but you really should break up with him.” Instead she gave poor advice and wouldn’t listen to me. Really frustrating.

Pandora's avatar

my husband

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

A friend or my therapist. I also take their track record with advice giving and certain interests into account – ie, my sister hates big cities, so she won’t be of any help figuring out whether to live downtown or in a less populated, cheaper area.

cookieman's avatar

My wife.
I don’t trust anyone else with such things.

Jeruba's avatar

@sliceswiththings, I know it’s tough, sweetie, but sometimes you just have to chalk it up to experience. There’ll be other guys. Don’t let one jerk bring you down. Here, have a Kleenex. There, there. Okay now?

deni's avatar

Since I’ve moved, and all my friends are so far away, we have grown apart. My only close friend here is no help. So my boyfriend is really all I have. And the only problems I ever have are with him. Really kind of sucks. So I turn to wine.

muppetish's avatar

For the majority of all my misfortunes, troubles, complaints, and rants, I turn to my best friend / sister. If she’s unavailable, I turn to my brothers.

ucme's avatar

I’m sorry to interrupt but you just gave me an excuse to play this! :¬)

partyparty's avatar

First and foremost I talk the problem through with my dogs. Yes I know this may seem silly or stupid but, they listen to me, don’t answer back in any negative way, and when I have finished talking to them my problem doesn’t seem half as bad. Try it… it does work!
Then when the problem is less stressful I will either resolve it myself or I will chat with my SO.

cookieman's avatar

@partyparty: And they’re tactful enough to speak about you behind your back.

partyparty's avatar

@cprevite Love your answer. I think my two dogs talk things over when I’m not listening!! LOLL

deni's avatar

@partyparty it doesnt sound stupid at all. it helps so much to get things out, even if no one is listening and you’re just talking to yourself, or if its the dogs and theyre just staring you at googly eyes. getting it out helps AND i find that when i do this, i sometimes realize how silly my problem is once i say it out loud.

partyparty's avatar

@deni Glad you think the way I do! :)

sliceswiththings's avatar

Thanks, @Jeruba :) But he’s not a jerk!! He’s wonderful but he just doesn’t make any time to hang out with me! Still feel better, thanks.

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