General Question

weeveeship's avatar

How to know when I am revealing information that could be damaging to me?

Asked by weeveeship (4610points) September 16th, 2010

So, different people have different responses to things. Some people, for example, are happy and congratulatory when I tell them something good happened to me (does not have to be big, could be as simple as I went on a fun trip or got a cool item).

Others respond with apathy. They might just nod or say “ok.” I am generally ok with these folks.

The worst group though are those who respond with envy or anger, sometimes making snide comments like “Oh, you think you’re so cool, huh?” or “What’s the big @$*&% deal?” They might also use body language, such as frowning or rolling their eyes or giving me a stink eye. These guys might subsequently give me a hard time about things when I see them again in the future (might or might not be caused by envy, but I can’t think of any other reason, as I have done them no harm).

Now, I usually keep to myself and won’t go around bragging about myself. While it is possible to avoid members of the last group once I have encountered them, there is no telling which group a stranger would belong to until I have actually spoken to them. I know the saying “Don’t talk to strangers” but that is hard when said strangers might be your new classmates or coworkers.

I can give blanket answers to small-talk questions as in (Them: How are you? Me: Good.) but that does not lead to much conversation. I don’t think lying is the way to go either as it is simply hard to keep track of lies, without even discussing the morality of lying.

So, what advice could you give me regarding this? And if I am meeting someone for the first time and they ask me “What did you do over the summer?” should I tell them my fun adventures or go with something more lame like “I just chilled?”

So,

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8 Answers

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I say tell them you had “a great summer full of fun and adventure”, but keep it at that. That way, you’re being honest, saying more than “good”, and also inviting them to ask more questions. If they ask more about it, feel free to go into detail.

ETpro's avatar

See the discussion here. And be careful about secret question answers as well. Lots of secure online accounts have several questions you must know the answer to in order to recover a password. Don’t post online the same information you used to answer the questions. Things like mother’s maiden name, name of your pet or first pet, street where you grew up…

weeveeship's avatar

My question was more about face-to-face dealings, but your link could be applied to that as well. Like, it is never good to talk about vices.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I say be open and tell the truth to your trusted friends. Tell some of the events of your summer to new classmates to test the waters. Watch their responses. If they are mature, they will be happy for you. If they aren’t, they’ll act childishly and enviously. Then you’ve got your answer.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Look at the setting. Are you in a quiet place where you can talk for an hour or are you standing the hall way and must move within a few minutes?

If it you are standing in the hallway the answer to “How you dooin?” is “Dooin good. How you dooin?” (If you’re in Brooklyn.) The asker does not really care about the answer. He’s just saying “hi”.
If you are sitting by candlelight, it’s just the two of you and the person asks “How are you doing?” The answer is “Fine. I’m with you. How are you doing?”

Stand quietly ask questions and only leak out a bit of info at a time. It makes you seem more interesting.

LuckyGuy's avatar

So @weeveeship , How ya doing?

partyparty's avatar

I agree with @DrasticDreamer. Just give a brief resume of what you have done, and if people want to ask more about it then you can continue telling them.

Scooby's avatar

Face to face, I only ever give a small summary :-/ of my summery activities to co-workers & only if they ask, again it depends on whom I’m talking to as to how much detail goes into my reply, I never volunteer that information to co-workers as a rule, only when asked. New people can mind there own until I know them a little better….

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