How would you feel in this situation? Relationship question, sorry.

To keep things—semi——short, I’ll say that my relationship with my boyfriend is falling to shreds because of his job and schedule and the “need” for him to go to sleep at 8 or 9 o’clock every night. Regardless of if we are about to have sex, or I’m upset about something, or we had planned to do something. He falls asleep. He gets up at 4 a.m., drives an hour to work, drives an hour back and gets home around 5 p.m. if we’re lucky. Tonight it was 7:30.

Anyhow, this keeps happening. He says that his need for sleep is keeping him from doing things such as having sex with me, cleaning up after himself or….yes, anything else that requires being awake. I propose the idea that maybe, just maybe, emotional needs can be sort of important too. In turn I have been feeling pretty shitty about myself…unattractive because he never wants to have sex with me when I want to have sex with him. The worst part…he’s 25!!!!! I’m 21!!!!! I said to him, that if I was 50 and having this problem, it would be acceptable. But right now, really? What is he going to be like in 10 years?! God I can’t even imagine.

Anyhow, I don’t really know how to deal with it. He is pretty firm on his belief that there is nothing more important than sleep. I’m under the impression that my feelings are pretty important. I’m not trying to be selfish, I know getting not enough sleep sucks, but there are other things in life than living your every second having it revolve around your job, am I right or wrong?

Fyi, we’ve been together a year. We live together, and i’d consider it a really serious relationship, despite the fact we are young. And he teaches. So even when he’s not at work, he’s talking about work, doing work, falling asleep insanely early because of work…

Summary: I feel like shit. I can’t take it. This is not the life I desire and not the life he desires, which is why he’s quitting at the end of the year. But in the mean time…things are really being wrecked. We can’t seem to come to a solution. All I do is cry at night (not every night, but nights like this, where I feel like “why??!”), because I’m 21 and free and want to have fun, and my boyfriend works 70 hours a week and has no freedom. (This wouldn’t be a big deal if I hadn’t moved across the country to be with him…I don’t regret it, but in turn I only have a few friends) This part of our relationship is not working. And I don’t know what to do.

Please shed some light. Is this totally unreasonable?!?!??!?!!?!?!?