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wundayatta's avatar

Do you and your best friend share many similar experiences? What are they?

Asked by wundayatta (58596points) September 17th, 2010

I was reading this question about whether it was possible to find a good friend. One person made a point about best friends being the same age as you.

I was thinking about how or why that might be true. The main thing I came up with is that people the same age are likely to have gone through similar experiences to you, and they know pretty much the same history as you.

Do you think best friends need to be very much like you? Do they have to have similar experiences and lived through a similar history? How similar to you is your best friend?

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13 Answers

picante's avatar

I am drawn to people with common interests and backgrounds—that’s often the catalyst for early conversations and recollections. Over time, it’s the different experiences and viewpoints that retain my interest in someone.

I certanily don’t think that anyone needs to be very much like me—but I would hope that my friends respect my beliefs and opinions, even when they have different ones; as my friendship will only be kept alive by that type of long-term “connectedness.” Commonality that grows into a desire for connectedness—that’s the ticket for me.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Does sex count? Seriously.

Austinlad's avatar

For me, it’s true. My best friends are my oldest ones. We share the same memories, tastes in music, and world view. I do have close friends who are younger and we have much in common, but not as much as the friends I went to school with.

Frenchfry's avatar

My best friend is the same age or close to me. We have have the same experiences. We actually ended up in a foster home together. We ended up foster sisters

Scooby's avatar

Weekends away mostly:-/ that’s all I’m saying…........

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My best friend and I synced up not because of similar experiences since we were so young when we met, our friendship was forged on shared ambitions, talents and social viewpoint. What we wanted for ourselves, down to minute details, how we treated and wanted to treat the people in our lives, how we viewed and interacted with outsiders, etc. We thought we were the ultimate machine!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

We share some common interests.He likes to go trap shooting and has gone clothes shopping with me too :)

YARNLADY's avatar

We are near the same age, we belong to the same social club, we have children near the same age, notably sons, we both have the same level of education, we both read the same type of books, eat the same types of food, wear the same kind of clothes. We are interested in arcane subjects.

Tomfafa's avatar

my best friend… hmmm… there was michelle from mexico… sofia… keli… how many best friends do I get?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Tomfafa as many as you can handle until they start finding out about each other.

Tomfafa's avatar

I kinda misread the Q… I thought it was at the same time… but we all belong to the same club, so they know.

Kardamom's avatar

My best friend and I (both females) are 9 years apart in age. I met her when she was 16, but I didn’t realize it until the next day when we talked some more, I just assumed she was about my age. I had gone to an outdoor “oldies” concert with some other friends who were my age, and then we all met my best friend and we all clicked, mostly because of what we had in common. I think it’s pretty rare to have as big of an age difference as we do, especially because she was so young when we met. If I met her today (20 years later) and we were 9 years apart, it wouldn’t be weird at all. I think I just got lucky that she was very grounded and mature and looked a little bit older than she was and she spoke like an adult rather than like a teenager. But it was mostly what we had, and still have now, in common that has kept us such good friends. We have a similar background too (with regards to beliefs and upbringing and culture) and I think that helps, but is not absolutely necessary. We are also very respectful to each other. Without that, you really can’t have much of a friendship with anyone. We always laugh because, although we live in different cities, whenever we get together it is likely that we will show up dressed alike and we often discover some “new” interest that we want to share with the other person, but 9 times out of 10, we have both discovered the exact same new interest at the same time. It still amazes me. I often tease her that she is my twin, but without my anxiousness and emotional outbursts.

Kardamom's avatar

Sorry, I think I forgot to answer the specific question of what things we actually share. Here’s a short list: spicy vegetarian food, The Beatles and The Monkees and The Beach Boys, cooking, similar styles in clothes, same colors, vintage stuff from thrift stores (especially Xmas decorations, Little Golden Books and eyeglass cases) and Liberace. Some of these things are pretty specific, so I can’t imagine how we could be such close friends if we didn’t like these same things. I’m not saying that people can’t be close friends with people who have less things in common, it just makes it harder.

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