Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

How much would you say you have in common with your significant other?

Asked by wundayatta (58563points) September 17th, 2010

In terms of music, hobbies, activities, opinions, sexual desire, movies, child-rearing theories, what field you work in, the kind of education you have, the place you got an education, your economic class, your money handling habits, your sleeping habits, your food preferences, where you grew up, and whatever else you can think of, how similar do you think you are?

Perhaps you might tell us your greatest difference and greatest similarity. At least I hope you will take a moment to think about each of those areas before you answer. And please add other areas if you think of them.

For example, my wife and I share a love for dance. That’s how we met. However, I’m really into politics, but she doesn’t always vote. We both came from similar, middle class backgrounds, although she grew up in a more urban area than I did. Ironically, she wants to move back to the suburbs, while I don’t want to leave the city.

I like sports. She couldn’t care less. I like performances and would love to go out more. She likes performances but is not so motivated. She is addicted to work. I’m not. I have a masters degree and she has a professional degree. We both believe in spending money on rebuilding infrastructure (insulating the house) before spending money on pretty things (painting the kitchen). I’m smarter but she’s more industrious. We both have almost exactly the same child-rearing methods.

Well, I could go on. It’s kind of interesting thinking about this. Sort of a spousal inventory of some kind. I hope you guys have fun with it!

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27 Answers

BoBo1946's avatar

We both love sports and attend LOTS of athletic events. Also, we love to travel.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

My husband and I are both very traditional in many of our beliefs, we definitely have that in common. We agree on how children should be raised, on our what our roles are as each others spouse, we share a lot of the same views on what we feel is most important in life. We like the same TV shows, but not the same movies. We disagree on music…. a lot. I think the way that we are most different is that my husband has this philosophy that worrying will get you nowhere, when I am a total worry wart. :)

downtide's avatar

I’d guess we’re about 75% similar. We share similar political and religious beliefs, similar level of education (although he’s far more intelligent than I am), similar tastes in music, food and travel. Our hobbies and personal interests are where we differ widely. He’s into tabletop wargaming which I find deathly boring. I’m into folk music, which he finds boring. I’m more interested in the arts, he’s a tech geek. The only overlap is an interest in science fiction and history. Personality-wise we’re also quite different. I’m more optimistic, more confident and and more extrovert than he is.

chels's avatar

Pretty much everything, honestly. Movies, music, food, doing things, whatever. We also have been through similar things. Not the same things, but really similar which is nice. For us to disagree on anything is really rare.
I’m truly blessed in that sense.

john65pennington's avatar

On a scale of 1 to 10, wife and i are about a 9. after 44 years of marriage, if we did not like something before….......we do now. you have no choice after all this time.

erichw1504's avatar

I believe my wife and I are 75% in common with one another. Our biggest difference is probably our tastes in music; she likes pop and R & B, I like rock and techno. Our biggest similarity would be what foods we like to eat; we both don’t eat much red meat and love Mexican. Also, we both aren’t into religion or politics.

gailcalled's avatar

We both like the rural environment.
We both like peace and quite
We both enjoy a moderate social life.
We both like naps.
We both agree with the hierarchy…who is master and who is slave.
We both get lost at night.
We both like small pieces of organic cheese.
We both like to have our hair brushed.
We both like to snuggle.

curlyz's avatar

we have 5% in common, o’k….maybe 10% tops…
we are very different in everything, looks, brains :) education, food, music, movies preferences, sleeping habits, etc.
only couple things in common: we like to travel and have sex :)

marinelife's avatar

We have many things in common: a love of reading and books (usually not the same types although we both love P.G. Wodehouse), a love of travel, especially road trips, a love of classical music and jazz (although he is much more musically inclined than I am and plays instruments), a love of dogs.

I am much more deeply grounded in nature and science. He is much more deeply grounded in the classics.

He loves politics, and I could care less.

We have similar backgrounds, values and education levels. We both have good sense of humor, although I can be inclined toward the ridiculous more than he is.

ShanEnri's avatar

Our music tastes are similar, we love peace and quiet. He likes summer and I like winter, he prefers TV and I prefer reading. He likes sex and sometimes I do too! We’re more like the “opposites attract” kind of couple!

GladysMensch's avatar

Married 19 years. We both fight fair (no name calling). We have similar priorities (money’s not as important as family). We have similar educational backgrounds. We differ on just about every other aspect… music, movies, books, food, religion. However, we respect each others opinions. She doesn’t bring me to musicals; I watch ATHF after she’s asleep. It works. Also, we both love football, but she’s a Packer fan, I’m a Viking fan.

BoBo1946's avatar

@GladysMensch that is pretty dang cool… you guys have ground rules!

janbb's avatar

In common: intelligence, sense of humor, parenting philosophies, desire for self-fulfillment

Differences: I am into arts, emotions and reading, he is very practical and scientific (think engineer type)

Married: almost 37 years

Neizvestnaya's avatar

We are similar in the most important core values to us about relationships, family and lifestyle. We are different in that I have longterm and very close friendships with recognized and accepted boundaries. Aside from the big stuff we do enjoy many activities together and were raised with similar childhood family philosophies, have similar education and work experiences. We are both pamper friendlies too which is nice to be able to have someone enjoy and accept what you want to give as well as giving you what you like back.

ucme's avatar

We both love to breathe, which is handy all things considered. Oh & lots of other things but I can’t be bothered right now. Maybe later…..maybe!

isuppose's avatar

We don’t have as much in common as I’d like, but that’s okay.

wundayatta's avatar

@GladysMensch Also, we both love football, but she’s a Packer fan, I’m a Viking fan.

Now that’s true love!

@gailcalled That is so sweet. I hope Milo appreciates it.

Seaofclouds's avatar

One of the biggest similarities that we have is our love for gaming. We both really enjoy board games and card games. We both use to play D&D as well.

We have similar parenting beliefs and both want the same things for our children. We both enjoy being outdoors, but also enjoy quiet evenings at home together.

I’m more impulsive when it comes to spending money than he is. He is better at saving than I am.

ratboy's avatar

We reside at the same location.

KatawaGrey's avatar

Relatively speaking, my boyfriend and I probably have less in common than what we do have in common. However, we tend to have “big” stuff in common. For example, we’re both gamers. That’s one thing, but it’s a huge part of both of our lives. Our taste in movies has a healthy overlap but, sadly, our humor does not. We can make each other laugh quite easily but we have quite a disparity when it comes to outside humor. Example: He likes Beevis and Butthead, Seinfeld, and It’s Always Sunny. I like Big Bang Theory, How I Met your Mother and Dharma and Greg. However, we both like Futurama so we end up watching that a lot. Thankfully, he does not like Family Guy.

Neither of us likes sports which is awesome. When it’s football season, we play Magic and go to the movies. When the World Series is on, we’re watching Dexter. However, I do really like watching the Olympics and he does not so he’s had to endure a few odd sporting events for me. :)

We have discussed some “big” relationship things. For example, neither of us has any particular desire to get married. If we do get married, we’re eloping in Vegas. I do not think he would care if I kept my name, but one subject I haven’t brought up to him is the subject of kids’s last names. I want my kids to have my last name. I don’t really care if it’s traditional for kids to have their father’s last name. Ideally, our kids would have a hyphenate last name. He’s traditional enough that he might not like that idea but he’s also logical and if I explain the logic to him, he might go for it. Also, strange as this may sound he agrees with me that he doesn’t want his sons to be circumcised. It seems like a silly thing to be so important, but I have never liked the idea of chopping off a part of child at birth. Thankfully, my bf feels the same way.

deni's avatar

I would say our biggest difference is the style of life that we desire for the most part. He is more into a structured life, having a secure job, a Masters degree someday, and everything being more “set” than not set. I, on the other hand, prefer to, I guess, not take things too seriously. I’m fine with having a part time job and living paycheck to paycheck but having enough money to be comfortable enough. I like being able to go where I want to go, go home if I feel the need, do crazy things that come up rather than my job restricting my life to IT, work at home, and sleep. But a lot of people feel the way he does, and I’m definitely in the minority here. But he’s leaning more towards my side every day. If someone says to me tomorrow “Do you want to go to Peru with me next month?” I say “ABSOLUTELY” and go buy a ticket. But he can’t do that, and I think he’d like to be able to, therefore his mind is changing about all this.

When we went to pick out a cat last month, out of about 150 cats we looked at over the course of a few weeks, we both decided on the same one! We have the same tastes in a lot of things I would say, and I think that’s a good example. We both have the same idea of how our house should be and look, so decorating and putting everything a certain place was really easy for us. We enjoy a lot of the same little things as well…similar music, dancing styles, records, cooking, baking…

Aster's avatar

As far as a lot of interests in common , not many. But I’m not so sure that’s as important as having the same values. The same spiritual beliefs and the willingness to consider the other’s viewpoint. I say this because my ex would be nasty and even violent when I didn’t like what he liked. So just being away from that is such a luxury. I feel I can do my thing, he can do his, and neither of us ever tries to hamper the other. I guess you would have had to be in a controlling marriage to understand how valuable it is to just let the person be himself without fear. Having said that, we both love vintage R&R and UFO shows/discussions. We also enjoy talking about religion and our families.
And we love fishing. Again , it’s the freedom we have that means so much. More valuable, to me that is, than if I played golf and duplicate bridge. I sense he’d like more in common but I’m ok with things the way they are. Peace, beautiful peace. No fighting.

cockswain's avatar

Sense of humor and sort of an existential love of the universe outlook. Similar politics and most food too. After that, we don’t agree on much. So I guess that’s all you need.

YARNLADY's avatar

My husband of 35 years and I have the same expectations, similar values, very similar upbringing, similar intellectual level and educational level. We have the same physical desires and have agreed on child rearing and most other daily experiences. We both have similar personality traits and disposition.

cookieman's avatar

Similar
• Intelligence
• Child Rearing
• Philosophies
• Love of Travel, Food, Art, Culture, Architecture
• Political Views
• Sexual Appetite

Different
• Housekeeping/Organization
(me: neat & organized, her: slob & disorganized)
• Religious Views
(me: agnostic, her: apathetic)
• Reading Material
(me: comic books, her: novels)
• Crisis Management
(me: cool & methodical, her: nervous & irrational)
• Music
(me: into almost everything, her: into almost nothing)

BoBo1946's avatar

@YARNLADY you are a lucky lady and he is a lucky man!

Aster's avatar

What @YARNLADY said w/the exception of the “educational level” part. LOL

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