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Akua's avatar

What is something you couldn't forgive your spouse for?

Asked by Akua (4725points) September 19th, 2010

Just curious to know what is ONE thing you couldn’t forgive your spouse for and/or would leave them for? I think I could forgive my husband for cheating depending on the circumstances of the deed but I don’t think I could forgive him if he was ever abusive or violent towards me or a child.

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26 Answers

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Child/animal/spouse abuse.

lloydbird's avatar

Cleaning the toilet with my tooth brush.

Akua's avatar

@lloydbird are you serious? LOL. @Simone_De_Beauvoir you said Rape. Do you mean to say that for you a beating or abuse is forgivable but Rape is not as forgivable? Or does physical abuse fall into the same bowl as Rape?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Akua No, was just giving an example – there are a lot of things I wouldn’t forgive. I would never tolerate even a single raised hand in my direction, never and all my partners knew that and knew what was good for them.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Using wire hangers. ;)

Akua's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir ok got ya. Thanks for clarifying. I agree that any hand turned to me in violence is just a precurser to their demise. I have been in abusive relationships before and I didn’t always leave immediately after it happened for one reason or another I would just wait and bide my time. I poisoned one of my ex’s once after he hit me. I’m just one of those people that you don’t want to cross because I will stay up nights thinking about how to make you pay, lol. @lucillelucillelucille so you would do a Mommy Dearest on anyone that used wire hangers?

syz's avatar

@lloydbird My little sister used to do that to my sister and I when she was mad at us. We learned about it 20 years later.

ucme's avatar

Matricide! She’d rob me of the pleasure. Only kidding, I love my MIL… I really do. I’m a good boy I am :¬)

Seaofclouds's avatar

Abuse (physical or emotional). I’ve been there before and I won’t do it again.

Cruiser's avatar

Not recharging my notebook…just one more time…. ;)

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

A violent act.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Akua-Yes.There is no other choice ;)

Aster's avatar

Nothing that he’d ever do. He doesn’t do bad things. Things, yes, but not bad ones.

tedibear's avatar

Physical or emotional abuse. And I doubt that I could recover from him having an affair.

ducky_dnl's avatar

Cheating on me.

DominicX's avatar

Hitting me. Abuse. Violence. Completely unacceptable. I know I would leave anyone if that happened. That’s one of those things that only gets worse with time. You think it will get better and that they will change, but accounts I’ve heard indicate that doesn’t happen, unfortunately.

partyparty's avatar

Not enjoying my food!

NaturallyMe's avatar

Cheating. This is the one that will cause me the most pain.

nellybar's avatar

Making me eat peas…

Akua's avatar

@DominicX are you a male or female? I’m asking this question because you said abuse is unacceptable. But what if the woman hits the man first? Is it the same response. Many of you mentioned abuse and hitting but does a woman ever “deserve” to be hit. If she slaps or punches a man what should he do? A co-worker and I have been talking about the abuse women suffer at the hands of men and so I’m curious about everyone’s opinion. Should this be a seperate question? I don’t believe that a woman should be hit for any reason. If a man is cornered or a woman hits him, he should walk away, or RUN! What do you guys think? Is their any reason that would justify a man hitting a woman?

DominicX's avatar


I’m male, but I’m gay, so my partner would be a man. However, I’d feel the same way if it were a woman. In our society, a woman hitting a man is “okay” but a man hitting a woman is “abuse”. I’m not talking playfully hitting someone, I’m talking hitting someone in anger, punching them, slapping them, beating them. That kind of thing would not be acceptable to me in any relationship, regardless of gender.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@Akua I don’t think the woman or the man should ever hit each other. If a woman raises her hand to a man, he should do what he needs to do to get away (like grab her to stop her from hitting him or push her out of the way). There was a question about that a few days or so ago (it may have been longer), but I couldn’t find it to link it for you.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

It’s not acceptable to me for women to abuse any more than men. In my eyes, it’s the hatred and/or disrespect behind the action that is the abuse as much as the physical (or verbal) impact.

Akua's avatar

@Neizvestnaya yes I agree with that. 100%.

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