Social Question

ShanEnri's avatar

Should I assume the friendship is over?

Asked by ShanEnri (4414points) September 20th, 2010

I am in a dilemma about whether or not I should hold out hope on this friendship or assume it’s over. One of my very best friends from high school has just quit talking to me. I’ve texted her and messaged her on facebook asking if she’s mad at me, but there has been no response from her on either. The reason I’m thinking she’s mad is because for about 6 months her son and my daughter have had a long distance relationship. Recently my daughter ended it and is now dating someone else. She ended it because he never texted or called and I was frequently asking his mom (my friend) what was up. Usually it was a simple matter of minutes. Then one day he disappeared. When I asked what was up I was just told “he thinks he knows everything”. Well he has friends that he could’ve had deliver a message, or his mom could’ve said something to let us know where he was and what was up. He could have called via pay phone. There are any number of ways he could’ve let her know something, but he didn’t, so she assumed he wasn’t interested anymore. I mean a long distance relationship requires communication at least! Anyway I don’t know if she’s blaming me or just hasn’t responded due to unforeseen circumstances! Should I wait or consider it over?

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5 Answers

iamthemob's avatar

Nope. Just assume she’s dealing with her side of the issue. If and when she’s ready, she’ll get in touch with you.

wundayatta's avatar

I vote for waiting, too. It could be years, but there’s no point in burning any bridges.

I’ve burnt many a bridge unnecessarily. Be patient. Just see what happens. If you want you could send a test message once a month or once a year, just to see what happens. You could use your holiday card as a way to invite her to get back in touch if she wants to.

Coloma's avatar

I would call or email one more time and tell her that you are wondering if she has something on her mind that she would like to share with you. You can let her know that if you do not hear back from her you will assume she is no longer interested in keeping a friendship with you.

Maybe ask yourself how interested you are as well.

If she has not been that good of a friend to you then I would not cling to someone who is not interested in a healthy relationship with good communication.

Childish games and withdrawing without an explanation are traits of emotionally immature people, do you really need that in your life?

Seaofclouds's avatar

I would send one last e-mail telling her how you feel and your concern over losing the friendship. Then I would just wait and see what happens.

I wonder if the involvement of you and her in your children’s relationship has something to do with it. Sine the two of you were being the go between, it could be that she feels awkward because of it. In the future, I’d recommend letting your daughter handle her own relationship. It’s great that you wanted to help her, but it could be what caused the strained relationship with your friend.

ShanEnri's avatar

Thank you all for your help. I will wait for a while and send her another message. I really don’t want to end the friendship so I won’t.

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