Social Question

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Why is my friend ignoring me? How can I find out what I did to him?

Asked by Vincent_Lloyd (3007points) September 21st, 2010

okay….So basically I’ve known one of my online friends for about a year now….He’s really nice and stuff like that, but lately I’ve been trying to get a hold of him over the IM on MSN but lately he’s been saying “hey” and stuff but then I ask him something and he pretty much ignores it….Then today I was trying to get him in a specific mood, but he just said he can’t talk….I’m getting a vibe that he’s mad at me like I did something…But I don’t even know…What should I do? How do I find out what he’s mad about…?

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9 Answers

BarnacleBill's avatar

It could just be that he has a lot going on in real life and doesn’t feel like chatting, but doesn’t want to talk about it. Online relationships can be hard to maintain without real life contact as well.

Frenchfry's avatar

I would not take it personal. Like @BarnacleBill said he might have a lot going on. I would just ask him right out. Did I make you mad?

Plucky's avatar

I think you should just ask him what’s up. I agree with @BarnacleBill though, online relationships are difficult (whether they’re friendship or more serious).

nebule's avatar

Yes, ask him…with humilty… x

Kayak8's avatar

Could be a maturity thing. Some kids, once they start feeling a bit more mature, drop their friends that strike them as being less mature. It’s a normal part of being a kid.

marinelife's avatar

You need to ask him what, if anything, is wrong.

Something like, “Hey, it seems like you are either awfully bust lately or I might have offended you in some way. If I did, I’d really like to know so I can apologize and fix things. I miss you.”

TheMadShatter's avatar

I’d drop him a little email rather than wait till the next time your on IM with him.

Tactfully ask him if you have upset/annoyed him in any way. Depends on his reply what you do next, but at least you would know.

partyparty's avatar

If it is bothering you so much then you need to ask him outright if anything is wrong.
Perhaps he is busy with other things going on in his life, but if you ask him he may just explain what the problem is.

wundayatta's avatar

It is the nature of online relationships. They only have a certain shelf life. After a while they just seem to peter off. I don’t know if there’s any reason, except perhaps people just get a little apathetic about the relationship. They don’t have anything to say, or think there’s nothing to say, or think the conversation is getting boring, or they have something more interesting to do, and so they communicate less, and then less, and then it stops altogether. Maybe both sides are expecting the other to reach out because they initiated the last communication, and it gets dropped.

I don’t think he’s mad at you, and even if he is, I think you shouldn’t worry about it. Just move on to the next thing.

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