General Question

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

What's a central fact of your life that you wish was radically different?

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (33154points) September 22nd, 2010

Perhaps there is a physical attribute of yours you wish to change. Maybe you have a nervous habit you can’t seem to shake. Do you say the wrong thing at the wrong time?

As for me, I am unhappily bipolar. I was diagnosed 9 years ago, and it has changed everything about my life. I hate it. I would give anything not to have it, but there you are. I can’t change it, so I have to make do with the best that I can.

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48 Answers

cookieman's avatar

I wish I could lose weight more easily. I can, but between my diabetes meds and a slow metabolism, it would take a lot of dedication and free time I simply don’t have – yet. But someday soon.

My ex-doctor tells me I should lose 75lbs. to effectively “cure” my diabetes – but the diabetes meds he has me on makes it difficult to lose weight. So he suggests going to the gym two hours a day with a diet of chicken, fish and vegetables only. “In about a year you’ll likely see the desired results” he says. Oy vey.

downtide's avatar

My biological sex. I’m sure everyone on Fluther knows this by now :-D

BoBo1946's avatar

@downtide my heart goes out to you…. it must be very frustrating. I’ve never understood this.

The thing i would change would be my hips without going through surgery.

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Deja_vu's avatar

I stick my foot in my mouth alot. Outwardly at times I could be persived as a stuck up spoiled bitch, but I’m really not. I wish I had more tact.

iammia's avatar

I’ve battled with Agoraphobia since my late teens, took me a long while to get it under control, but it seems to rear it’s ugly head when i am stressed, which i have been recently :(

augustlan's avatar

Constant pain. I’ve had Fibromyalgia for a long, long time. Most days, the pain is bearable, thanks to medications, but it’s always there. I can count the number of pain free days I’ve had in the last 10 years on one hand.

partyparty's avatar

I would like to perhaps turn back the clock a few years… only a few though!

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I have been thinking about this question off and on since you posted it 2 hours ago, and I realise the list of things that I have come up with are not really the problem. My self esteem is. So… I wish I had better self esteem.

SuperMouse's avatar

I really , really wish I was capable of doing something that would encourage my ex-husband would begin acting civil.

Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

I would like to be back where I was living in the first place. i absolutely hate where we moved to. We are going to sell the house, but I don’t know if we’ll get out of here. I sure hope so. That’s what I would radically change.

tedibear's avatar

I would change my face, in particular my nose. But overall, I would like to start again.

I wish I could do something to get my husband to be more amenable to physical affection beyond when we have sex.

tragiclikebowie's avatar

Sometimes I lack an appropriate brain-to-mouth filter. I can often be brutally honest and say exactly what I’m thinking and this gets me into a lot of trouble. I have alienated a few of my close friends (for a few months or for good) because of it.

There also seems to be a trend in my life that every few years or so I have a series of major panic attacks/serious anxiety that is triggered by something. This seems to have been happened every 4–5 years or so since I was 11. It really fucks up my life.

deni's avatar

I wish I wasn’t so emotional. I wish I could just ignore things that make me upset, rather than not letting them go and having them upset me further so often.

BoBo1946's avatar

@tragiclikebowie WOW…my brother deals with this. But, he is just a hermit. He has been married for 40 years, but thank goodness, he has a very understanding wife.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I wish we weren’t stationed in Kansas.

TexasDude's avatar

I’m perpetually and somewhat willingly trampled upon by those I care about.

Aster's avatar

I would give a Lot up that I possess if I could totally cure my anxiety problem. Twenty four years of it. I don’t have it at home, I’m fine on a stage, boarding a plane or in a dentist’s chair but there’s something about driving or browsing store shelves that makes me anxious. I do it anyway but it drastically cuts down on your enjoyment of living.

delirium's avatar

Honestly? Nothing. Everything is pretty great. When something isn’t great, I work hard and fight to change it. All my failures have taught me important life lessons and all my setbacks have been humbling. I wouldn’t change anything. At all.

hug_of_war's avatar

Difficulty mantaining and creating friendships largely due to asperger’s syndrome. I want to have friends but I feel confused by all these rules other people don’t even think about, like should I look at someone when they’re talking to me, how do I invite someone over, etc. I can’t change the fact I’m autistic so I have to deal with it the best I can.

BoBo1946's avatar

@hug_of_war wow…that is tough my friend. Well, I’ll be your friend.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

How people perceive my gender. I know it’s hard for a lot of people but I really don’t want to be seen as a woman.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir gosh, that must be very frustrating. You are a very attractive, but certainly understand what you are saying.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Bobo1946 You have surprised me with your comment. Thank you.

tinyfaery's avatar

Constantly fighting depression is not fun. Having to constantly adjust meds is not fun. I wish I wasn’t so affected by the world.

tragiclikebowie's avatar

@BoBo1946 Yeah. I’m nowhere near being a hermit but it makes it very difficult to go on with daily life when this happens to me. The last “episode” I had lasted much longer than usual and was near debilitating – it affected my schoolwork, my job, my relationships, etc. I think I’m over it now, but sometimes I still feel it lingering.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir you are very welcome. I’ve never had a problem with “walking in the shoes of others!” My favorite uncle wanted to be lady. Loved the man (deceased now). He had such a huge heart. He would give you the “shirt off his back!” When I was 10 years old, Mother left my Dad as he dranks all the time, my uncle was the one that helped Mother the most. He would buy my brother and I clothes, etc. He helped Mother find a job also….without him, don’t know what we would have done. When he got sick several years ago, Mother packed up everything and moved to Florida to help him. At the time mother was 80 years old. That is how much she loved the man.

Aster's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir If I didn’t want to be seen as a woman, I would make sure my avatar was always asexual . It would help, somewhat, if we would look at it and wonder, “hmm, I wonder if it’s male or female?” Lots of jellies do it.
But to not be seen as a woman in real life ,I’d have a problem working that out. Especially on job apps where you check “Male” or “Female.” You could put a little square and label it, “Other” and check that. Just a couple suggestions.

BoBo1946's avatar

@tragiclikebowie wow…well, my brother just sit at home everyday and watches TV. Never goes anywhere. He has not been in my home in 20 years. I go down and visit him as much as i can. He lives about 4 hours from me. He takes medication, but doesn’t seem to help.

TexasDude's avatar

@Aster, it’s important to note that one can be perfectly happy and comfortable with their physical body, albeit dissatisfied with the restricting nature of gender roles/definitions. Just a small aside.

tragiclikebowie's avatar

@BoBo1946 That’s unfortunate :( I hope one day he can resolve it and come visit you.

BoBo1946's avatar

@tragiclikebowie oh, what a day that will be!

Aster's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Oh, ok. Restricting roles.
I’ve never felt restricted or not consciously but thanks! She feels restricted being female. I use it for all it’s worth!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Aster I don’t have to present myself in any one way to satisfy others. If you wanted to appear as androgynous (not asexual, as that’s a sexuality), that’s fine – I want to appear as me, I don’t need people thinking ‘oh is it a he or a she?’...I want people to not care.

GladysMensch's avatar

I wish my mom was still alive.

cookieman's avatar

@GladysMensch: I’m with ya. I’d love to see my dad again – but sadly, it’s wishful thinking. Sorry about your mum.

majorrich's avatar

Too many things to list. I made a lot of mistakes that affected other peoples lives. I wish I had applied myself in school a little more. (yeah yeah mom and dad were right)

Aster's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir People don’t “care” exactly but they know you’re not male when they see you. Unlike some rare people I see I have no idea if they’re male or female. I don’t care what they are ; I’m just curious because I usually know the sex of a person. I find myself looking at them for fifteen seconds wondering, “I wonder if that’s a man or woman?” I’ve even had my H ask, ‘is that a woman or what?”
If those people wish to not be identified as male or female they’ve accomplished it ! But I really don’t think most people care at all if that makes you feel better.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Aster I really think this is off-topic now and we should discuss in PM

Christian95's avatar

I enjoy to hate.I’m always very observant to everything,in order to find reason for me feeling miserable and to complain about how wrong is the human society and other things like these.
Besides the fact that I actually enjoy doing these things,my complains make people think I believe I’m superior,arrogant etc.So far enjoying hating has been the thing that made me have a lot of trouble,losing lots of friends and made me lose things in general.
So this aspect of my life is what I wish would be radically different.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

I wish I could get rid of my dark side.

JLeslie's avatar

A chronic health problem I have dealt with for 20 years, and all of the shit that has come along with it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m a female, no one genius or outstanding in any particular way, no children or close family. My reality is to be alone or take a chance on partners to not discard me as I age beyond what they perceive to be good looks. I hear lip service all the time about how men are interested in much deeper things from a woman than their looks but what I’ve seen in my adults years observing is men are able to love but not be faithful as long as they can keep getting younger and fresher. I wish I were a man so I could enjoy all I do in this world but with the lesser odds of being heartbroken or duped.


I wish I didn’t live in the big city. I always envy those people who have a big house out in the countryside, with an acreage. The only way for me to live like that would be to win the lottery. But it seems I will always be permanently attached to the city and a life of stress, routine, and hurry. :(

faye's avatar

Constant pain for me as well. I have cranky, cranky arthritis, started about 25 years ago and it’s in about every joint, and all through my neck and back. Lots of drugs sometimes, wine being most effective.

Nially_Bob's avatar

I wish I had learnt more by now.

JessicaisinLove's avatar

I wish my S/O and I were together. Too much confusion this way.

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