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Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Why can't I cry?

Asked by Vincent_Lloyd (3007points) September 22nd, 2010

Lately I’ve been sad….Listening to songs that just make my heart feel like it’s weeping…I feel my emotions about to spill on the floor but I just can’t seem to get myself to cry….I don’t have a tendency to cry… I just been feeling like it, but I just can’t seem to get it out of my system…Is this a bad thing? Am I a wimp for wanting to cry?

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17 Answers

TexasDude's avatar

I’ve had this problem before. It took a lot to finally get myself to cry again, but once I did, it helped an awful lot. Do you typically have a stoic demeanor?

Hobbes's avatar

You are not a wimp for wanting to cry. If there is some pain inside you, let it out. If you try to deny it, it will only hurt you more.

muppetish's avatar

1. It’s not abnormal to not cry often. I have met many people who have gone decades without crying—(at least, the crying sense in which your post is about. Everyone lacrimates, or produces tears.)

2. It does not make you a wimp for wanting to cry. It peeves me to no end when people view crying as a sign of weakness. Crying can often be an act of release.

Don’t fret about not being able to cry right now. I went a few years without crying (which is bizarre since I tend to cry quite often), but when I did it felt as though those years of feeling were leaving my system. It felt good. In the mean time, there are other ways you can channel your emotions. You’ll likely cry eventually, but there are other ways to express your emotions.

I don’t know whether this will help you, but in my drama class our teacher taught us a trick to cry on cue: think of the happiest moment in your life, every little detail. It has worked for me before.

ducky_dnl's avatar

You are not a wimp for wanting to cry. Everyone cries! When I lost my friend I cried so much and still do. I used to never cry, but everything seems to make me cry. Whether it’s a song, a website, a colour, an animal, what a person says, etc. Does this make me a wimp? Some people would say yes, others would say no. I have to agree with the people that say no. Why? because I suffered a huge loss in my life. What is the reason you feel sad? Maybe it’s not getting to your core? When I’m depressed somethings don’t seem to matter enough to make me cry over it. It can make me very sad on the inside, but it doesn’t make me cry. Nothing is wrong with not crying. Have you cried a lot before trying to cry now? Sometimes people can cry so much, that they can literally cry no more for a little while.

Cruiser's avatar

Not sure…why do you think you need a good cry??

Randy's avatar

You’re no wimp. Even bad asses cry.
Forrest Griffin once had his arm broken in a fight by blocking a kick but he went on to knock the guy out with his other arm. He’s a tough dude but he’s crying like a baby in that video.

Everyone gets sad. But just because you’re sad that doesn’t mean you need to cry. The trick, in my opinion, is to make the best out of your bad situations. Sometimes that’s hard to do. Especially if you don’t know why you’re sad. My advice is to do what makes you happy. If you like being around friends, call one of ‘em up when your having a bad day. If you like sweets, bake/buy a big cake for yourself. Write yourself a note telling yourself how awesome you are and sick it somewhere you’ll find it later. Little things help.

Oh, and if you’re sad, stay away from sad music. It doesn’t help. Music can strongly affect your mood and make you feel worse if you’re already feeling bad. Alternately, positive, upbeat music can liven your mood. It’s worth a shot.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@ducky_dnl Yeah I use to cry a lot when I was in like 3rd -5th grade, but now I don’t cry at all…As much as I try I just can’t, I try and think of sad moments in my life, or maybe imagine Amber with another guy (that just pisses me off and I wanna punch another hole in my closet….) but so far nothing has worked…...I just can’t, feels like I can’t have the tears come out…. No matter how hard I try.

Randy's avatar

Wait… Are you wanting to cry? Is that what’s going on here?

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Well…Just that I’ve been feeling the need to cry I just can’t seem to get it out no matter how much the sadness hurts or digs deep into my heart…I just won’t. So I’m trying to have myself cry…But I have been sad lately…. very lonely, friends getting mad at me, and other stuff, just nothing will happen. It’s like I have no feelings to cry or something. I just end up getting pissed at myself….

Randy's avatar

You don’t have to cry to be sad. Tears are a response from your brain about your emotional state. Just because you can’t cry don’t mean that you’re not sad or that something is wrong with you. It just means that the situation isn’t making you cry.

I don’t think you should force it. Crying is something that few people have control over. The ones that can control it usually have to alter their emotional state to do it. If it happens, let it happen and then try to get over whatever is making you sad. If it doesn’t, just try to get past whatever is making you sad. Life is too short to spend not trying to make yourself happy.

partyparty's avatar

There is obviously something bothering you, and you need to let it out. I agree with what @Hobbes says… you need to let the pain go for your own sake.

nebule's avatar

Antidepressants and other medications have had effects on me in the past like this…needing to cry but not being able to…are you on any meds?

BoBo1946's avatar

Usually, there is something in your subconscious bothering you that you are obviously not aware of. If this continue, would see a therapist. They can do wonders for your peace of mind and contentment. My very difficult childhood lead me to a therapist and i take beta blocker to shut that mess out. Since then, i’ve been fine.

GladysMensch's avatar

I’ve got to agree with the therapist idea. I’m clinically depressed (on meds, thankfully) but my depression doesn’t make me sad. Instead, I’ll lose my emotions. I’ll get to the point where I can’t feel happiness or sadness. I’ll just feel nothing. It’s a bad place to be, and it wears on you over time.
Regardless, get to a therapist. A good therapist can make you see things in a different way, or make you realize things that you can’t see. Plus, it’s a safe place. A therapist isn’t going to judge you for crying. Hell, making you cry is their job.
Good luck.

katalac88's avatar

maybe you are trying too hard to cry? i know this is an issue i’ve had. i know that for myself, crying is a great way for me to release some built up emotions i have, and normally i feel a lot better after a good sob. but if you are focusing too much on it, it can actually be anti-productive. eventually something will trigger this release and ahh open the floodgates. this could happen at any time or anywhere… sometimes quite funny to me the places i end up crying. anyway… hope this helps.

katalac88's avatar

and oh its definitely a GOOD thing you should never feel like a wimp for any emotion you experience.

nana098's avatar

What’s the reason you want to cry? Maybe it’s not worth crying for. And I think it’s sweet when a boy wants to cry. Letting out your true emotions helps.

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