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Pandora's avatar

Guys, if you spoil your little girl, do you think that she has you wrapped around the proverbial finger?

Asked by Pandora (27849points) September 23rd, 2010

Over the years, my husband has scoffed at the thought that our daughter has him wrapped around her little finger. But I have proof she does and he still doesn’t see it. He could be upset with her over something and he won’t bring it up or confront her. Not the same with our son.
Don’t get me wrong, they are both great young adults but since she was a baby, she never did anything wrong. The only time he would step in to discipline her was if she raised her voice. Our son was a different story. They would both knock heads over the smallest thing.
So it got me wondering.
So for those of you who have been accused of spoiling your daughters.
Do you see how you treat your daughters different?
If you don’t think so, than why is it not the case with you?
If you do, do you openly admit to it?

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9 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

Sorry, I’m not a parent, but I have felt this with younger female cousins. I loved spending time with them and money on them when I was around. They were so cute and innocent and I still see them that way now even as pre teens. A man and his daughter have some special bond and to be honest, I don’t think most fathers would care that much because the love is very strong and the goal is to spoil them anyways lol. If the daughter is respectful and a good kid, why not reward them? You love them so much you just want to give them everything, although a malicious child is a different story.

Pandora's avatar

@Blackberry True. I found as a baby, all my husband single guy friends would also spoil her and be protective when my husband wasn’t around. I remember a good friend of his that couldn’t stand to see her cry for a second. He had to pick her up right away and try to make her laugh.
Also at a company, family picnic, when some of their work mates had a little too much to drink and came over to say hi to her, his friend would pick her up and tell them that they can see her when they are sober. I thought it hilarious. She had her own body guard before the age of 1. He was a really big guy so no one pushed the issue.
But do the dads admit to spoiling?

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I don’t know that my dad “spoiled” us, but I know that I am definitely a daddy’s girl. I definitely do NOT have him wrapped around my finger, though. He never hesitated to tell me no or scold me if I deserved it.

Blackberry's avatar

@Pandora I don’t really know. I imagine some would have no problem with it, because it is simply the great pride in knowing you’re a great parent as opposed to a parent that is questionable. Then there are men who don’t want people to question their liberal parenting, saying it’s bad to spoil children. I prefer the former: If I have the money to pay for all of my child’s tuition and buy her a car when she graduates, I’m going to do it because she deserved it.

BoBo1946's avatar

My granddaughter sure does….what she wants, she gets…within reason. I love my grandchildren more than my life. That is a fact.

Pandora's avatar

@Blackberry True, I guess it may be that being seen as too liberal may be what some may oppose to.
@BoBo1946 Grandchildren are usually spoiled because you don’t have to raise them. Unless you have custody. Then that can make a difference. Do you have sole custody of her?

BoBo1946's avatar

@Pandora oh no…my son and daughter in law have been married for 16 years and very happy. But, just pointing out how much i love them.

muppetish's avatar

This isn’t a daughter-exclusive issue. My younger brother has had my mum wrapped around his finger since he was little… because he was the youngest. She knows this, admits this, and doesn’t care. He is a little spoiled, but not beyond reason. He never demands things (asks yes, demand no) and never asks for anything outlandish (usually it’s food or a ride to a friend’s house.) And it’s not as though she wouldn’t comply to anything my older brother and I requested… it’s just that our younger brother asks more often than either of us.

When it reaches the degree when the adult complies to the wishes of the child without question, it becomes a problem. I know some spoiled-rotten people (particularly a girl I went to high school with) and I cannot fathom why their parents make some of the decisions they do, but I’m not a parent myself.

john65pennington's avatar

This was never the case with my daughter. yes, she was spoiled and i loved her to death as a child and still do. sure. my heart melted when she asked for special things in life and i provided them for her. i wanted my daughter to be self-sufficient in life as an adult.

My daughter is now a nurse in Seattle and the mother of three children.

Did i spoil her?............of course i did.

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