General Question

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

LADIES- How uncomfortable would you feel if someone you barely knew suddenly began blurting out really inappropriate things?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (23163points) September 24th, 2010

You’re married, he’s married… out of nowhere, he starts telling you that he really has a thing for you, he thinks you’re incredibly sexy and smart and you turn him on more than anyone else ever has. He says his wife would freak out if she knew how much you turned him on and how badly he wanted you. He wants you desperately and he really wants to see what you look like naked. You barely know him, and he’s coming on pretty damn strong, continually repeating how sexy you are and how much he wants you.

Would you just say “I’m flattered” and blow it off, would you feel mildly uncomfortable, or would it creep you out? I’m at the creeped out point…

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

33 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Yeah, creeped out. That is grossly inappropriate, and I would tell him so.

janbb's avatar

Creeped out. I would tell him you really don’t want to hear this and stay away from him. If he persists, get more nasty.

Jude's avatar


I had someone here PM me with inappropriate comments. Just recently, I answered a question about oral sex and not a minute later, I got a PM from him saying “So, you like oral sex?” Cree-py.

FutureMemory's avatar

I’m a dude, but I’d still like to answer this.

I would tell him I’m happily married and that he needs to stop immediately with such nonsense. If he didn’t stop I would tell both his wife and my husband. I’m pretty sure that would be the end of it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’d say ‘I never want to hear that from you again – I find it inappropriate and it bothers me’. Of course, that just turns some sexist perverts on.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@FutureMemory LOL! That’s fine, male answers are welcome also.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yeah, I know what you mean… Anyhow, after some fast thinking and slippery wording, he may leave it alone now. I hope. I love to flirt as much as the next person, but that really weirded me out.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

No grand announcements here…just yawn and walk away.
I will not give a bonehead like that any power to affect me.Well,I might snicker at the drama of it all…:O

JilltheTooth's avatar

That used to happen to me a fair amount thank god I’m chubby and middle-aged, now, partly because these guys thought that as a single woman I would be flattered and amenable to suggestions. Really??? I mean come on! I lost more than one friendship with women because of this. I would tell the offender that I wasn’t interested, and resented that he had said those things, then he would tell his wife that I came on to him and there goes the friendship. Very creepy and sucky.

wundayatta's avatar

Is that all he’s got? I can’t believe you are even spending a second thinking about him. It’s not creepy, it’s pathetic. I’d tell to go away and never come back. Even if he did have a good line, you still wouldn’t give him two seconds—and that only to be polite.

“Excuse me, but you must have me mistaken for the town idiot.”

or, “The last time I heard a come-on as pathetic as yours, I was in middle school.”

mickhock's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Would you just say “I’m flattered” and “blow it off”!!!! ,Going by the last part of your statement i would say your nowhere near the “creeped out point”. lol

lillycoyote's avatar

I’m with @Simone_De_Beauvoir It’s no time to be coy. You have to put a stop to it right then and there. Unless it really doesn’t bother you. If you are clear he’ll probably just keep on pestering you. And I wouldn’t insult him with any smart ass answer because if he really is a creep you could have problems with him later on. If he feels you humiliated him.

tranquilsea's avatar

I wouldn’t deign to answer him and walk away.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@mickhock ??? I don’t quite understand what you’re trying to say. In the last part of my statement, I was asking ppl to give their opinions on how uncomfortable it would make them, using three different levels: not really uncomfortable, mildly uncomfortable or really uncomfortable. I wasn’t stating that I was feeling flattered, I was using that as the “not really uncomfortable” example.

mickhock's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate ,Hi and sorry,
I looked at the statement and saw “blow it off” and saw a funny angle, after i had read your profile i thought you would appreciate the humour but maybe we have a translation issue here.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@mickhock Ah, gotcha… I was just thinking you totally misunderstood the last part of the question, LOL.

Frenchfry's avatar

I would back away from the person and run as fast as I can. That’s trouble right there.

Pandora's avatar

Creeped out. I would tell him to disappear from my life and to seek mental help. This person sounds obsessive. Tell you husband. And tell this guy that you will tell his wife if he ever gets near you again.
Have your husband talk to him.
For him to risk it all and be that daring is definetly bad. This guy has shown that he doesn’t care about anything or anyone when it comes to getting what he wants. And you are what he wants.
I wouldn’t dismiss this as a little thing. This guy can easily step over some serious boundries and damn the consequences. Especially if you have already made it clear that you are not amused or interested. He has all the making of a stalker and stalkers live in a fantasy world where reality doesn’t exist.

Plucky's avatar

Creeped out. He needs to know that you find it unacceptable and would wish him to stop immediately. And, if he persists ..tell your spouse and his. Also, call your local authorities if you feel threatened by him at any time (whether it’s his words or actions).

iammia's avatar

Honestly i’d be uncomfortable, but i’m not shy at telling guys where to go….I’d tell him to fuck off back to his Misses, and tell him if he started perving on me again i’d send my 6’3” bf to have a quiet word with him!

curlyz's avatar

I would run….

MrsDufresne's avatar

I would yell the following at him privately:
“Hey jerk wad, number one, you should recognize I’m far from interested, and number two, have the testes to tell it to your wife!”

I don’t put up with that kind of bs


(If he doesn’t get it by then, then I’d give him two days to knock it the h*ll off, and after that I’d file a restraining order)

YARNLADY's avatar

I would tell him I don’t fell the same, and I would appreciate he leave me alone in the future. I would then make it a point to avoid contact.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d feel a lot uncomfortable and yes, I’ve had this happen in the worst of all places (work) where you can’t get away from the person and there is no going to HR or filing a complaint or whatever. What I’ve done is to stop the person as they’re talking and tell them, “whoa, that’s more than I want to hear, not my thing. At all.” The person apologized but then over time crept back with more and more comments to where I asked them, “Didn’t we go over this already? I’m not liking it.” From there I told a few fellow coworkers to run interferance for me so the guy got the idea everyone knew about his behavior.

BarnacleBill's avatar

People like this, like molesters, rely on the fact that you will not tell anyone. So, tell. Tell your husband, tell his wife. If it’s someone you work with, tell HR; this is a sexual harassment violation.

Forward any texts and communications to his wife. Tell her you find him disturbing, and ask her to please not have him contact you. Ever. Again.

When things like this happen, the relationship with the couple needs to end.

wenwen's avatar

Just put him out of his misery and tell his wife. People who are married to scumbags should be made aware of it. I can’t stand people who behave like that. They are a disgrace to the idea of marriage, and should never have got married. That man’s behaviour makes me feel sick.
I would shame him .

tigress3681's avatar

From what you said, I assume he knows you are married and that you know he is as well. I also get the impression that he disgusts you. Why would you want to hang out around a man who is this disgusting. Next time you are near him, tell him you dont want to hang out around him. When he calls again, don’t answer. If you see him again after that, walk the other way. If he persists, just keep ignoring him. If at some point it seriously affects your life, feel free to call it what it is, harassment. You might even call the police, if it gets to that point.

BeccaBoo's avatar

Sex sex sex…when will some men learn it’s not our bodies they need to turn on, it’s our minds? I have been in a situation similar, and asked the guy, if he got what he wanted, what would he do with me as I have some pretty kinky turn ons and could he live up to them. And if he was really good maybe I might turn into a bit of a bunny boiler and never leave him alone…..stopped him thinking with his dick for 5 mins as he was married. Not said a word to me since! Mwhahahahaha…...

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@BeccaBoo…....I agree with you.

I would not tell the wife, if you are friends….why? Because she will end up siding with him and hate you.

When someone has come on to me like this…I have some line like: “I know I’m sexy, okay? But the deal is….what makes you think I want you? Guess what, in this day and age, sexy women actually have choices. First of all I’m married this isn’t 1955, it’s not the Sahara Hotel and let me tell you _ain’t no Frank Sinatra__.”

AshlynM's avatar

I wouldn’t take it too seriously, unless he tries to kiss you or have sex with you.

I’d tell him to tell someone who cares.

chinchin31's avatar

Just ignore it.

We all meet people we are attracted to after we are married.

Sometimes you might even meet someone that you have stronger sexual chemistry with compared to your husband.

Maybe he just feels like he needs to get it off his chest or the attraction is so strong he can’t help himself saying those things. Shit happens.

Just ignore it.

As long as he doesn’t touch or stalk you or keep doing it . Just pretend like it never happened and forget about it.

He is just thinking out loud. Many married men think those things but don’t say it. Some people are not good at restraining their emotions verbally.

Just ignore it.

Response moderated (Spam)
Dutchess_III's avatar

I know this is an old question but I have had that happen on more than one occasion. It was horrible.
The worst one was after my divorce. I was taking college classes and there was this one guy in my class who just creeped me out. The final for the class was a take home. Just before he dismissed class for the day this guy passed me this note. He told me not to read it until I got home. It as an entire page devoted to how much he loved me and how we were meant to be together and on and how he can’t live without me…and I don’t think he even knew my name! And…it was written on the back of the final exam which was to be turned in the following week.
I called the professor, explained my problem. He said he was fine with me turning the exam in at my convenience before the last class, and I was OK’d to not come that last day.
When I turned my final in, I showed him the note, which was full of grammatical errors.
The professor said, “He does NOT belong in a college level class. I don’t know why they even let people like him in.”
Yes. Creeped out is the word.

LadyMarissa's avatar

I don’t accept being mildly uncomfortable & I definitely don’t accept being creeped out.Way before the uncomfortable stage, I’d be straightening his butt out real quick. Then, if he didn’t stop it, I’d wait until his wife is in the same room &say “do you know or care that your husband is trying to cheat on You & my telling him I’m NOT interested doesn’t seem to faze him”. I bet he suddenly feels uncomfortable & creeped out & stops!!!

I NEVER give anyone enough power over me to push me into being uncomfortable or worse. We all have a CHOICE & I choose to never feel uncomfortable!!!

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther