General Question

Jam_'s avatar

How do you decline a friend request on Facebook?

Asked by Jam_ (86points) September 28th, 2010

Sometimes, people will ask me to be facebook friends. Lots of times, it’s on another internet forum or in real life. How do I turn them down tactfully? I don’t want Facebook to turn into the dramafest of MySpace.

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17 Answers

janbb's avatar

I’ve sometimes said, “I don’t really use it much” or “I only reserve it for family and friends who live at a distance.”

Jude's avatar

What @janbb said.

A few I went ahead and added, then I got tired of reading their crazy drama, so, I deleted them.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

When you go into the friend requests, just click ignore!

mrlaconic's avatar

1.) Do you know the person in real life if no stop if yes proceed to 2

2.) Is the person just an acquaintance that you met at a party etc if so STOP or if you see them more often proceed to 3

3.) Do you work this person if yes and they are the type of person who would throw you under a bus for their own gain STOP otherwise proceed to 4

4.) Do you have pictures of you partying etc that could be used against you? If the requester also has those types of pictures proceed to 5 otherwise STOP

5.)Would you initiate time to hang out with this person in real life? If yes accept friend request. If no go back to 1.

chyna's avatar

I have this same issue. And like @mama_cakes I went ahead and added them and eventually had to delete them. I keep telling myself that if this wasn’t a person I want to talk to in real life or hang out with in real life, why add them?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

If I don’t know the person at all, and it’s just a recommendation of another casual friend, then I do nothing—just leave the request pending—indefinitely, in case that friendship does occur, or I become more friendly (IRL) with the person who made the suggestion. I normally have a good half-dozen or more friend requests simply pending with no action. (It’s also a good way to subtly emphasize the casual nature of your FB usage.)

Otherwise, if she’s great-looking and/or smart (or both, like @janbb), then I accept the request in a heartbeat, whether I know her or not.

llewis's avatar

I usually try to tell them why I’m ignoring their request (I don’t play that game anymore, I don’t know who you are, etc.). Otherwise, you can just “ignore” the request – as far as I know, they never hear anything unless you accept them. Is that correct? I have had people repeatedly send friend requests, which is why I try to tell them why I’m not accepting.

skfinkel's avatar

I would just ignore it.

robmandu's avatar

Accept the friend request (make them feel good)... and then remove them from your friend list.

Facebook doesn’t notify the other person if you ignore their friend request or even if you drop them later. Usually, people won’t even notice that you’re gone from their news feed.

Jam_'s avatar

@robmandu That seems sneaky and manipulative. I’m trying to go in the other direction.

robmandu's avatar

@Jam_, maybe so, but it’s your Facebook we’re talking about, not theirs.

You see, in my opinion, it’s none of their business what your friend criteria even is. If you accept them as a friend, great. If not, no problem. C’est la vie.

If you want to be forthright, frank, and honest then reply back and simply say, “No, thanks. I don’t want to be your friend,” before clicking the Ignore button.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Jam_ I don’t like to be sneaky and manipulative, either, as a general rule. But that doesn’t mean that my Facebook account is open to every Tom, Dick and Harry and their casual friends and acquaintances.

I’ve done exactly as @robmandu suggests, from time to time, taking a flier and accepting a friend request just on a whim and a hope, and later wondering why the hell I did that. The simplest correction is to drop the so-called “friend”, and no one seems to notice or care. Certainly no one has ever followed up with a “Why did you drop me?” message.

I’m assuming that you’re dealing with other adults or near-adults here, not third graders who pass notes back and forth in class “check this box if you like me” and “check this box if you don’t like me”. We have mostly gotten past this, haven’t we?

Gamrz360's avatar

@skfinkel Straight, simple and to the point.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

I’ve noticed facebook has changed the choices. It’s not “Accept” and “Ignore” anymore. Now your choices are “Confirm” and “Not Now”. So just click “Not Now”, and move on.

janbb's avatar

I had the impression that the OP was asking about people who ask him in person partially – makes it much harder tp ‘ignore’ or “not now”.

Jam_'s avatar

@janbb Yes, I was. I’ve had a few coworkers ask, as well online friends, and one family member.

janbb's avatar

@Jam_ Yup – in person is much harder to deal with.

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