Can you think of some really silly things to put in a personals ad?

Many newspapers and magazines used to have a place for ads for people to meet one another. The Internet has largely taken over this function, and at least in the gay world, which I am more familiar with, the ads are mostly for one night stands.

Have you seen any that were humorous?

Can you think of some things to put in such ads that would be funny?

I saw one that said, “Garden gnome seeks a man who knows how to use his hose.”

I did not label this NSFW, because I want to keep the humor tongue in cheek. Let’s try to keep this lighthearted.

Let the double entendre commence.