Social Question

DominicX's avatar

Just what can be done to stop bullying?

Asked by DominicX (28762points) September 28th, 2010

I always hear idealistic propositions for what can stop a bullying problem, but then we keep having stories where bullying is taken much too far. This question was inspired by a story I just read about a 13-year-old gay boy in Texas who committed suicide after being tormented by bullies in middle school because of his sexuality and religious views. http://www.queerty.com/shock-gay-texas-13-year-old-asher-brown-shoots-himself-in-the-head-after-horrific-school-torment-20100928/

In today’s age of “zero tolerance” policies on bullying, how can something like this be allowed to happen? How much is the parents’ responsibility? How have you seen bullying dealt with? How is it supposed to be stopped?

This story just really got to me and it really makes me want to do something about bullying in schools, particularly anti-LGBT bullying.

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59 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

We all have to give a shit. Parents need to notify the school and continue to follow up. The school and the teachers have to give a shit and truly enforce a zero tolerance policy for bullying, the parents of the bullies have to be put on notice that they need to hold their children accountable teach and discipline their children. Somebody or a number of somebodies dropped the ball here. We all just need to care and demand that schools don’t continue to tolerated this kind of behavior.

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

The parents could of always have been unaware of the situation. I’ve seen alot of people being bullied when I was in school and some didn’t tell on the bully for doing it. I just think we should make people more aware of how much bullying can actually affect people.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@DominicX Thank you for the GQ and linking the article. I read it, and I’m heartsick. Growing up gay in Oklahoma, the northern neighbor of Texas, was no different in the 70s than what is described in the article. I was subjected to much abuse.

The only way I know to stop it is one child at a time. My children know that I am categorically repulsed by bullying of any type, and they know that I would react severely were they ever to act in such a way.

On a larger scale, our schools must be held accountable for the physical and emotional torment that students perpetrate on their peers. There has got to be a way for these school authorities to be punished and to mark the students who subjected this child to such heinous acts.

I am sick at this. I am livid.

Jeruba's avatar

When my son was the target of bullying in fifth grade, we went and met with the vice principal. She said, “It’s up to him to come to one of us when they’re picking on him.” He said, “It’s pretty hard to go and speak to one of the monitors when there are five guys on top of you.”

This treatment took place routinely out of sight of any adult, of course. And when there was no one on top of him, there was no proof—just an accusation.

He was also informed in no uncertain terms that no matter what anyone did to him, he was not to hit back, even in self-defense. That would make him an aggressor and a violator of school code. They were perfectly clear about being willing to suspend him for that even if they didn’t punish anyone else.

I think one thing that’s needed right off the bat is to make sure everyone remembers that the law of the land protects kids as well as adults, even while they’re in school. You don’t give up your legal and constitutional rights when you enter a school. Get hold of the school’s code of conduct and statement of students’ rights. It should affirm that a child’s legal rights as a citizen remain in force. Why shouldn’t any victim of assault be entitled to police protection, appropriate investigation of charges, and legal redress?

FutureMemory's avatar

I was never bullied in school (mostly because I was always far taller than my classmates, which for some reason many people equate to being tough or strong), but I did see my fair share of other kids being bullied. I think there should be a much larger adult presence on every school campus – from elementary school all the way through high school. So much goes on that faculty never witnesses simply because the ratio of students to staff is so unbalanced.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Here’s the full version of the article from the Houston Chronicle

According to this article, the morning that he killed himself, he came out to his step-father. That leads me to think that perhaps there is more behind the actions than just the bullying at school. Why would parents continue to send a child to a school that is non-responsive to complaints from a student and parents? He’s been a student at the school for 2 years, and the parents have been ostensibly complaining for 18 months of that two years?

Also disturbing is Michigan Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shrivell’s cyber-bullying of University of Michigan student body president Chris Armstrong under the guise of free speech.

Cruiser's avatar

I agree with @BarnacleBill as awful and unfortunate as it is, there is more to this story. He was teased on numerous levels and 2 things stand out. Why would the parents continue to subject their son to such cruel behaviors in that school and WTF are they doing leaving an unlocked firearm in the house?? Sad story indeed!

BarnacleBill's avatar

In September, 2009, The New York Times ran a great feature on coming out in middle school.

Deja_vu's avatar

Kids are a reflection of their parents. People should just stop being assholes. When I was a kid I got the heap of so much racism where I’m from. As an adult, none. Why? I think it’s because it’s hidden in the homes. Racism behind closed doors. Kids emulate their parents. When people trully change, bullying will change. We have too far to go as people. That is the route of bullying. I also remember being called a fag (just typing that word annoys me) when I didn’t even know what it meant in 3rd grade. I told the teacher and I remember being in the principle’s office with that kid, and we both got a vocabulary lesson. He didn’t even know what it meant either. Ending bullying begins at home, it starts with the parents.

Deja_vu's avatar

Schools should take bullying more seriously. It should not be tolerated and it is.Maybe if teachers weren’t so underpayed it would make a difference on how they handle their jobs. @DominicX thanks for the GA

Scooby's avatar

Everyone is waiting for someone else to solve the problem of bullying, in particular people expect the government to come up with a solution.
Surely the natural instinct of a parent who discovers that their child is being attacked is to protect that child, not to expect the government to do something about it.
The natural response to seeing your children being bullied at school, whether by the teachers or by other children, is to stop sending them to that school :-/

Deja_vu's avatar

@Scooby Yes an awesome point! But, do you feel that schools should be less tolerate of bullying as well?

Scooby's avatar

@Deja_vu

Yes I do, but their hands are tied by protocols… it’s just not about the children anymore, If a lot of parents took this step then even more dramatic changes would result. Schools could not continue treating children the way they do if parents removed children who were not happy
:-/
But I’m not a parent, so what do I know ;-)

Deja_vu's avatar

@Scooby That’s true, I can’t see a result coming from the homes concidering hate is more sheltered (than before, were it was acceptable to outwardly hate in the past). Only if people could really change as a culture can true change occur. I do believe a huge step would be in part of the schooling which can be controlled, other than the home. I fulling agree with you, where a true step can occur if the parents of the abused had more balls as well. Schools should do their part too.

thekoukoureport's avatar

My daughter had a terrible sixth grade with many tales of bullying. I did a few things i hope will help.
1) I let her know that I love her with all my heart and she needs to believe the fact that most of these people will not be in your life forever. (didn’t work)
2) Worked with her to make her love herself, I call it find your sexy. So it doesn’t matter what anyone says you know better.
3) worked out with her to make her stronger and more confident.
4) gave her permission to punch out whooever touches you again. AND
5) Went to the principles office and told him that my daughter has permission to fight anyone who invades her personnal space again and now that you are aware, the next time this happens I will hold you accountable. I pay my taxes so that you will provide a safe learning environment for my daughter and if you are unable to do that I’m sure other arrangements can be made.
Keeping my fingers crossed but it’s a whole new reality for her this year she is happy and doing well in school again.

I can’t say that anyone thing worked, but I would give most of the credit to her and her self esteem. Beautiful thing to see now.

Deja_vu's avatar

@thekoukoureport You tried your best!! That’s beautiful!! Good for you! I hope all works out for the best:)

Deja_vu's avatar

@thekoukoureport You stood your ground and stood up for your child in more ways than one! I like your term “find your sexy”. That’s awesome!

thekoukoureport's avatar

we all have it. And once you find it so will everyone else.

Deja_vu's avatar

@thekoukoureport I don’t have any children. I think you are a good example for this question!

BoBo1946's avatar

Love this story!

When I was in the fifth grade, there was one guys bigger than me. He was the school’s bully. Keith would go up to classmates and just pushed them down. Everytime, he would take both arms and just pushed them to the ground. Well, i got to studying what I would do if he tried it on me. Knew he would eventually. One Saturday morning, I was watching wrestling and I learned a move to use on Keith.

Well, the day came, i saw him out of the corner of my eye, he was going to push me down. He thought. When he pushed me with his arms, I grab his arms, pulled him down and used my feet and legs and through him over my head. He hit the ground with a loud uggggggg. All of my classmate died laughing

Footnote to the story, we bacame best friends after that day. He also stopped bullying others.

snowberry's avatar

Hey, as long as you can bully as an adult and get away with it, I doubt it will be eliminated in children. Kids learn from watching us. Everyone knows the bully boss, the bully neighbor, the bully in the car behind you (aggressive driving and tail gaiting).

Example: In my state, aggressive driving and tailgaiting is allowed or ignored. Even the cops do it.

FutureMemory's avatar

@BoBo1946 was a bad ass kid.

BoBo1946's avatar

loll..not really, but that stopped the school bully from bullying.

Brian1946's avatar

@BoBo1946

Do you remember which wrestler’s moves you learned?
Was it one of the way earlier wrestlers like Lou Thesz, Antonio Rocco, or Édouard Carpentier?

BoBo1946's avatar

@Brian1946 actually, i do not Brian. That was about 1956 or so. Probably Sputnik Monroe!

Brian1946's avatar

@BoBo1946

I think Sputnik was launched in October, 1957, so perhaps he called himself something like Satellite or Jetplane Monroe in 1956. ;-)

BoBo1946's avatar

got’cha…just cannot remember who it was….but, it was fun throwing my friend Keith over my head. Hey, i did not stay at that school, but his senior year, he was 6’5” and around 250. Big old boy. And, he was a really good basketball player. We did not play them, but wish we had.

GladysMensch's avatar

I know that it will get a kid into a load of trouble at school, but the only real solution to a bully is to fight back. Bullies like to victimize people, and someone who fights back is no longer a victim. The bully often stops bullying once he’s popped in the chops. Keep in mind that this works for boy bullies only. Girl bullies are a whole different kind of nasty.

Deja_vu's avatar

@GladysMensch When I was a kid, anytime I was victimized because of my race, I was also punished. I started to fight back and it didn’t solve any problems, it just cause more for me. That’s just my experience growing up in a bad school system. I had lots of friends too, but there was the ones that were taught to hate from a early age.

GladysMensch's avatar

Deja_vu: My comments were geared toward a bully picking on someone smaller or weaker. I suppose fighting back would be much harder if the bullying was race related, and doubly so if you were in the minority.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Bullies will not stop bullying by reason alone. You cannot reason with them. They are bullies.
In my opinion you have to fight back with swift and overwhelming firepower. You need to have evidence of the infractions camera videos, written texts, photos. anything to document the abuse.
Hit the school, the bully’s parents, the bully’s friends who did not stop him with a lawsuit. The $1000 you spend for legal efforts will be one of the best investments in your child’s future.
I’m one of the few people in the world who believe there should be surveillance cameras covering every square mm of space in a school. The tapes are only reviewed under court order.
I know it is a bogus TV show, but I wince when I see the gay kid on Glee get tossed into the trash. He just accepts it. If it were me the second time it happened, I would have a friend record a video. Every one of the kids involved would have diarrhea, frozen bike locks, flat tires, ink injected into their lockers, and a formal court order to answer to assault charges.
It takes very few bullies to change the character of a school or organization for the worse. They need to be dealt with swiftly, cleanly, and permanently.

mowens's avatar

I’m sure people are going to disagree with me here… but do we really want to teach our children to run away from their problems? Uh-oh, times are tough, go somewhere else?

One of the facts of life is that parents will not always be around to protect their children. It sucks, but it is true. You will not be there for every problem. So, as far as I can tell, there are two different schools of thought when it comes to parenting.

A) Shield and protect your child from all the horrors of the world.
B) Guide your children, but ultimately let your children learn on their own how to solve their problems.

I am reminded of when I was a child and I had a problem with kids on the playground. I am not sure what grade I was. Oh, I am gay too, although I did not internally realize it until I was 22. 3 kids, who were older and naturally bigger than me came over to me, beat me up or whatever and made fun of me. I was sad for the rest of the day. When I got home, my grandpa was at our house visiting, and saw I was upset. He asked what was wrong… and I told him. He sat back and thought about it for a minute. He told me not to tell my parents about something like this, that this is something I needed to handle on my own. I asked “But how can I take care of them myself? There are more of them and they are bigger than me?” My grandpa calmly said, “Are there rocks on the playground?” I confirmed that there were. “Throw the rocks.”

My grandpa was right. I went to recess the next day, and went to find my rocks. I grabbed a couple of good sized rocks and put them in my pocket. I waited for them to start coming near me, and I threw the rocks at one of the guys and immediately equipped the next rock. I informed them I had many rocks, and that today wasn’t going to be like yesterday. If you want to beat me up that’s fine, but you are getting hurt too. Since the kid I hit as bleeding from the forehead… they backed down… and a few years later we all became good friends in high school. Alan, still has a scar on his forehead from where I hit him with the rock. We joke about it from time to time.

Now… I owe my grandpa a debt of gratitude. I learned that day how to stand up for myself and what I believe in. Yes, I am different, live with it.

Part of growing up is learning violence isn’t the answer. That and one other time is the only time I used physical force to solve a situation. The second time, really doesn’t count because I worked for a prison and was attacked from behind. There was no talking your way out of something already happening. I punched the guy in the nose, and that was that.

My grandma used to tell me that words were just words. She was right. I don’t care about anything ANYONE I don’t love says about me. It goes through my ears directly into the trashcan. If someone doesn’t like you they don’t like you. You get so much more from going with the flow and trying to make small changes than from going against it and trying to make large ones. If someone makes fun of me? I agree with them. Someone calls me stupid? I respond with a cheery, sarcastic tone… “Yeah, I am.” The tone is very important there… you have to play it off like it doesn’t bother you… even if it does. If they sense it is bothering you they will keep at it. Go with the flow, don’t fight back. Agree. They are just words. Someone calls me a faggot? “Yeah, I am.” Someone tells me I am a douche bag? “Yeah, I am the king douche!”

That is a more advanced technique. Joking about yourself…. That is the secret to a happy life. Well, one of the secrets.

This also reminds me of an episode of The West Wing. You might get the relation here, you might not.

I have difficulty sometimes talking to people who don’t race
sailboats.
When I was a teenager, I crewed Larchmont to Nassau on a 58-foot sloop called
Cantice. There was a little piece of kelp that was stuck to the hull, and even though
it was little, you don’t want anything stuck to the hull. So, I take a boat hook on a pole
and I stick it in the water and I try to get the kelp off, when seven guys start screaming
at me, right? Because now the pole is causing more drag than the kelp was. See, what you
gotta do is you gotta drop it in and let the water lift it out in a windmill motion. Drop
it in, and let the water take it by the kelp and lift it out. In, and out. In, and out,
till you got it.
[beat] The voters aren’t choosing a plumber, Mr. President. They are choosing
a president. And if you don’t think that your family should matter, my suggestion to you
is to get out of professional politics. And if you think that I’m going to miss even one
opportunity to pick up half-a-mile boat speed, you’re absolutely out of your mind. When it
costs us nothing, when we give up nothing?! You’re out of your mind.

wundayatta's avatar

Nice answer, @mowens. Good story.

I was able to avoid the bullies by somehow making friends with the bully. I was always nervous around him, but he didn’t bother me.

It’s interesting how many stories here say they became friends with the bullies later on.

I think that it’s in individual thing. Some schools are more on top of this than others. Some parents can handle it better. Some kids can handle it better. Sometimes it all goes wrong, and who even really knows if the bullying had much or anything to do with the suicide.

What they do in my kids’ school is preemptive training about tolerance. They are open and honest about what can happen and what it is like and what it means. I suppose they also tell the kids to come to them. Maybe they believe the kids more. Maybe they actually care. Maybe at other schools, the teachers and principals are too tired and annoyed to actual give a shit.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

The teachers have to stop condoning it. When it comes to queer or trans kids being bullied, some teachers are worse than the students, believe you me.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

Educate kids about what can happen If you bully including student suicides. Put them in the victim’s shoes and set strict punishment that don’t bend.

Jeruba's avatar

Solutions that depend on educating kids presume that the kids care about the effects of their actions. Do they? The victims’ own response ought to show them enough about the effects so that if they did care, they’d know all they needed to know.

tranquilsea's avatar

As I related in another question my oldest son was the targets of a few bullies. It started in grade three and progressively got worse and worse and worse. I had talks with his teachers but as @Jeruba has stated, there was rarely a witness and of the witnesses few wanted to talk for fear they would be next.

He got into this position because he made it a point of coming to the defence of kids who were being bullied. He gathered quite a loyal group of friends around him. Things became really bad in grade four. At one point some kid tried to choke him with his necklace and he ended up looking like someone tried to garrote him. Another time some boy attacked him scissors and cut him badly. During a movie, when the room was dark, some kid jumped him from behind and slammed his head into his desk. The teacher was chatting at the door and didn’t notice the initial attack. My son was outraged, he stood up and flipped over his desk. For that he was sent home and I had a meeting with the principal. After I let them know what had really gone on they told me they would deal with it.

Through grade four he was jumped on the playground time and time again. He didn’t tell about it until much later. Just a week before grade five started he started having panic attacks. We got him help immediately and in the process found out just how bad the bullying was. I set up a meeting with the principal and a plan was put together. Strangely, the plan was all about how to make my son feel better and nothing about dealing with the actual bullies. When I pointed that out I got a home work assignment from the principal. His “if you can do my job better than me then do it”. I happily researched anti bullying programmes and included them in my letter to him. But I ended by saying that I knew what his intention was and I also knew that I could research till the cows came home but ultimately it was up to him to enforce the policies of his school.

For a few months things were ok. Then, one day, some kid attacked him from behind at recess. My son ended up beating the tar out of him. Then another kid took over and my son landed another couple of punches. Kids were yelling, “Fight, fight, fight!”. Finally a kid who was 5’10 punched him in the gut and he went down. The kids scattered and my son melted into tears. They kept him at school and didn’t call me. He came home and the second he got into the house he lost it. He managed to tell me what happened. I immediately called the school. I found out that the kids who had surrounded him had concocted a story and backed one another up. I told the VP to talk to the kids who witnessed what happened and get the story from them. The truth came out.

Of the years he was at school he learned little but he did learn how to fight. That is sad.

After more meeting where my son was blamed for being attacked I came to realization that school wasn’t interested in dealing with the problem. I tried to pulled the school board into but none of the people in that chain of command would return my phone calls although their secretaries were nice. It was clear they didn’t want to know there was a problem.

I pulled all of kids out and I have been home schooling ever since.

In hindsight I should have told my son to fight back because clearly him telling the teachers didn’t help and probably backfired.

Nullo's avatar

The article smells of heart-blood. :\

I feel that when the authorities won’t fix the problem, it falls to the affected. Part of why I like Arizona more than most of you right now. Because otherwise, nobody will.

I was bullied a little in school, but nothing major. I was authorized fairly early on to end fights, but not start them; I never did have the opportunity to do that. I would feint a lot in retaliation – charge in with over-the-top retribution but not follow through with it. I suspect that it worked because of my size. Not especially tall, but quite wide in the shoulders.
My parents took a similar approach to the administrative side, arranging meetings and bringing in witnesses and authorities when necessary. That was for teacher-on-student bullying, though.

The answer, kids, is to be Switzerland: neutral, but prickly.

@mowens I disagree: violence, in the right quantities and at the right time, will solve a great many problems. Certainly, it would be better if it weren’t necessary, but some people won’t listen.

mowens's avatar

@Nullo Nearly every situation can be solved in a calm, non-violent manner. There are of course exceptions. For example, I worked in a prison for 2 years. I was stuck in a riot, cornered in a room by myself , in the section of the prison where the worst prisoners are locked up for 23 hours a day when the fire went off… and the only time I had to respond with violence was when I was brought into a fight without warning.

But, I think they are all insnae and deserve the piss beat out of them,,, but that is just me.

And I would never act on it.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Part of the problem of teens being bullied over sexual orientation is the underlying belief by fundies that sexual orientation is a choice, and that by choosing to act gay, kids deserve what they get. A lot of parents believe that bullying is a normal part of childhood, and learning to stand up for yourself is what “makes you a man.”

So perhaps the problem with bullying in school lies not with the schools, but with the parents. Schools can’t entirely fix the problem if it stems with the parents. And it won’t get fixed if the teacher or administrator personally believes that sexual orientation is a choice, and that the kid is “asking for it” by “choosing” to act gay.

I mentioned the death to a group I was with, and 4 of the 5 people expressed an opinion that it was the kid’s fault that he was getting picked on, and that he should have just “gotten over it” and that it was normal to be picked on if you’re small. It was discouraging.

In my own extended family, the attitude towards my daughter is somewhat bordering on hostile, and I think it’s because she’s a lesbian. It’s certainly not her actions – she’s the one that plays with the kids, talks to all the relatives, promptly writes thank-you notes, calls people. She does everything right with family. No PDA with her girlfriend around family members because she’s conscious of making people uncomfortable. And she still gets negative undertones.

Brian1946's avatar

@BarnacleBill

GA. :)

“I mentioned the death to a group I was with, and 4 of the 5 people expressed an opinion that it was the kid’s fault that he was getting picked on, and that he should have just ‘gotten’ over it” and that it was normal to be picked on if you’re small. It was discouraging.”

I find the anti-logic those 4 to be aggravating.

If it’s a felony to do something like force an adult’s head into a public toilet, give that person a swirly, take their wallet, and then threaten to beat them up if they tell anyone, then it sure as hell should be if it’s done to a little kid, and not just something they should “get over”.

DominicX's avatar

@BarnacleBill

“Part of the problem of teens being bullied over sexual orientation is the underlying belief by fundies that sexual orientation is a choice, and that by choosing to act gay, kids deserve what they get.”

That’s what I was thinking and why I specifically mentioned anti-LGBT bullying. Some people probably believe that anti-LGBT bullying is okay because the kids “chose” to be gay and if we don’t allow bullying, it won’t teach kids not make the wrong “choice”. I haven’t seen any specific evidence of that yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the extremists do feel that way and in a place like Texas, it may be less difficult to find people like that…

Nullo's avatar

@BarnacleBill I wonder, though, if it’s a belief brought on by so-called fundamentalism, of if it isn’t just instinct that is ground out in the more liberal sorts.

LuckyGuy's avatar

In the case of Tyler Clementi, Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei are bullies. They need to be slammed as hard a possible. They are as guilty of killing Tyler as if they threw him off the bridge. I’d even go after the group of ichat users who saw the first post and did not tell Tyler. They are accessories to the crime.

This was no “harmless prank”. That is bully talk when they get caught.

I see that Dharun Ravi was arrested today. Good. .

LuckyGuy's avatar

And here’s another case of someone striking back at a 12 year old bully .
Good for her. She helped more people than she can ever imagine.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

@worriedguy She shot a kid! So what if he was throwing stuff at her house she should have called police. What if she would have shot him in the chest or head, what if that was her intention. She shouldn’t have even brought a gun into the picture. Not that the kids are innocent but you don’t bring a gun out because some kids are attacking your house. She should got to jail for child endangerment or attempted murder

Brian1946's avatar

@daytonamisticrip

According to worriedguy’s link, “The woman walked out onto the porch and the boys began shouting obscenities and throwing bricks at her, authorities said.” and “He and the 13-year-old were later charged with aggravated assault but the woman was released by police, who agreed she was acting in self-defense.”

Just because they’re kids doesn’t mean that an elderly woman doesn’t have a right to protect herself.

Nullo's avatar

@worriedguy THAT is how you write an article. Not that crap that @DominicX posted, no melodrama, no fumbling for the heartstrings, no agenda.
Thank you, AP, for upholding the standard of journalistic integrity!

Guns are bit risky in that situation, but all the same, I agree: that kid will be slow to terrorize anybody else.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@daytonamisticrip Let’s think about this…The kids broke windows in her house. They had been terrorizing her and other people in the neighborhood for a long time. She called the police many times. After the police leave, the kids immediately come back. They taunted her and threw bricks at her – one hit her in the leg.
Bullies. It was time to fight back. How do you expect her to do that? One old lady against a group of young teens? the only way to deal witha bully is swift, overwhelming power. If she had really connected, so be it.
It would be sad, but the neighborhood would sleep a lot easier. I figure, if he is this way at 12, what will he be like when he is 16 or 18 or 22. Will he be the predator rapist in the neighborhood?
Clearly more than any other intervention to date, she might have stopped the progression.

BarnacleBill's avatar

@Nullo, I have a real problem with the idea that the Golden Rule is not something you have to follow if you go to church on Sunday and read the Bible. And that what it boils down to. Do Unto Others As YOU woudl have done unto YOU. Judge Not Lest You Be Judged.

Having an opinion that it’s okay to harm a child because he’s different than you or is gay is surely a one way ticket to Hell. Whether it’s wrong or not is between that person and God. No one else. Not anyone else’s business. The person is doing no harm to anyone else. Minding their own business. Certainly not as harmful to others as divorcing your spouse, which can devastate the lives of children. Why don’t fundies stone other fundies who cheat on their marriage?

Nullo's avatar

*facepalm * Did you read my post, Bill? Because it doesn’t really sound like you did.

Jabe73's avatar

I agree with @Deja_vu statement because I see this myself with the parents. Asshole parents will generally have asshole kids. I’ve seen moms/dads 30, 40 and even 50 something acting like complete jerks at liitle league ballgames and at the workplaces. If these same parents are making fun of people at work and causing trouble then how the fuck are they setting a good example for their own kids? Then the kids who are decent or have decent parents through some means end up hanging out with many of these bully kids and then you have a domino effect. You know how kids in groups are more likely to do bad/horrible things than a lone kid. The parents and the kids need to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. No wrist slapping here. Bad teachers need to be eliminated as well.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Well, well, this deserves a fact from fiction, but the truth is this is not a perfect world and will never be. Bullying will be here as long as Jim Crow. People believe that because our president is half Black we have turned a page. You can get Jim Crow to the lobby but he always gets invited back upstairs. Those who are different in an un unique way will be a target. Until society becomes at least 50% Gay or better open bullying against them will have little change, IMO. When there is a minority they will usually be the target, be it albinism, dwarfism, etc. There is no PC answer to it. LGBT people will have to live defensively in areas where they don’t have numbers that is just the truth right or wrong. Sadly we will hear of such again. I can say a lot about why it still happens but I left my flame proof suit at the cleaners. It is not just one solution, not just with parents, or school clichés.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

Does anybody know what kind of gun it was? She shouldn’t have brought a gun out no matter how old the kid was. A gun should only be used if you or someone elses life is in danger. I believe that you should stand up to a bully but not with potentially lethal force. Maybe take out a bb gun or get a squirt gun full of pee but for heavens sakes not a real gun that could kill someone. Since when has it been alright to shoot someone that angers you?

BarnacleBill's avatar

The Trevor Project seems related to this question.

Response moderated (Obscene)
snowberry's avatar

And sometimes the laws themselves protect the bullies! It happened to us. My son’s high school had a kid with tourettes. He was targeted by bullies who USED him to go after other kids. They’d say, “Andy wants to fight you. He thinks you’re a wus!” and so on. So the kid attacked my son. The tourettes kid and his bully “friends and supporters” trapped my son in a car and tried to bash in the windows with a baseball bat. So my son came out of the car because he was afraid of ruining his friend’s car.

Then he proceeded to beat the sh*t out of the tourettes kid. They were both suspended for fighting, my son was out for 3 days; the tourettes kid was suspened for more than a week. I don’t condone fighting, but I can’t say that I blame my son. He had been harassed for months before this happened. What I do blame is the school system and the law. When I talked to the prinicpal, and asked the guy why he didn’t keep a closer eye on the tourettes boy, he said he was not allowed to. What a stupid system.

It makes a good case for homeschooling and private schools.

raven860's avatar

@DominicX

You are on a college campus correct? Maybe you should start a club that helps students who are getting bullied and raises awarness and support for victims. Your club can have a center on campus and then some reps can have a talk with the local high,middle,elementary schools and have a during the week when you can visit a school and open a stand during lunch for kids to report bullying. You and a group of your friends can provide victims of bullying everything from adivce to help report and stop bullying to simple companionship.

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