Social Question

sleepdoc's avatar

What things are ok by your societal norm to be open about?

Asked by sleepdoc (4685points) September 29th, 2010

I was wondering what people feel it is ok to be completely transparent about in your life. Are you comfortable with knowing others sexual preference, marital status (to include open marriage of that is one’s choice), religious affliations, political views (even on the contrversial topics). Obviously there are things that we consider to be “rights” but I am wondering where the comfort level lies. What do you want to tell others about yourself and you don’t want others to tell you about them?

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20 Answers

Deja_vu's avatar

I was once in a polyamorous relationship. Let’s just say I was young and stupid. I knew it wasn’t going to workout( I was just having fun). Lots of weird rumors started where I’m from, and I didn’t care. Unfortunately it still comes up from time to time, and I’m sick of answering questions about it.

thekoukoureport's avatar

Live and let live… just don’t bother me with it.
I don’t really believe that there is a “norm” anymore. In fact society is wayyy open with all the information you ever needed to know about anything. Dealing with the info is another matter. Thats why I refer back to my first statement.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I don’t care if people know my sexual preference (I am heterosexual and monogamous), my marital status (not married, in a long term relationship, but generally opposed to the idea of marriage), my religious affiliations (I am an atheist, and do not see value in religion beyond its artistic qualities), or my political views (the partisan state of politics is ridiculous, compulsory voting is wrong, we should not have a Prime Minister leading a minority government, and ministers should be appointed from the ranks of unelected officials, and all ministers should serve out the whole term of government in that role unless they choose to leave politics during that term).

The only personal details that I would try to prevent being common knowledge, apart from the specifics of my relationship, my income, my contributions to charity, and any details that could compromise my security.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’m pretty open with things. There are very few topics I won’t go into further detail about. I don’t have a problem with other people telling me things as well. I don’t go asking for further information, but if someone just wants to talk, I’ll listen. I don’t think there are norms though. I think it’s just about each person’s individual comfort level.

marinelife's avatar

I don’t like being asked questions about any of the things that you mentioned or about my finances. What I choose to share depends on the person and the level of the relationship.

Trillian's avatar

I don’t care what people know about my sexual and relationship status. (Hetero, single, monogamaous when in a relationship and do not engage in casual sex) I don’t object to knowing that of others. I don’t want to know what position you were in last night or how many times you came.
I do not pry but if there is a man who is trying to get my attention and is married or misrepresents himself I have a bit of a problem. I don’t care if people are in “open” relationships but it is not what I want and if I were to have a man in my life again, I would like him to be free to be exclusive with me.

CMaz's avatar

“I would like him to be free to be exclusive with me.”

Free to be… That’s the ticket! :-)

Deja_vu's avatar

I don’t care, I just think it’s inappropriate when people pry, only because you don’t fit the norm.

CMaz's avatar

Prying is one thing.

But if you feel like expressing and exposing your view.
Do not get upset when people do take notice.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t talk about my sex life; my relationships; my finances; or my health in real life. In virtual life, I don’t talk about my finances.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

All things are okay by me to be discussed openly. No one should have to struggle in silence.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I try to tailor what I share to the comfort level of the person I’m sharing with, in one on one situations. With the web, I’ve learned the hard way to be more careful what I share.

SuperMouse's avatar

Whether it is based on societal norms or something else, I tend to be willing to engage in conversation about the things you mentioned. This is probably because my life would be considered fairly “average” in those areas. I am not eager to share financial information or details of my divorce with folks with whom I do not have a close personal relationship. @marinelife and @ChazMaz make a great point though about people interrogating me. In that case my gut tells me they might have ulterior motives in which case I am not going to share a single thing.

DominicX's avatar

Sexual preference is perfectly okay to know. If no one knows it, how am I going to find anyone? With less than 5% of the world population to choose from (unlike around 45% for a straight person, assuming 10% of the population is not straight), you need to know who’s gay and who’s not, otherwise not much is going to happen in your love life. Doesn’t mean that I go around shouting it, but it is something that people just kind of know.

All those other things people can know as well. Very little is “off-limits” for me…

Neizvestnaya's avatar

In my face to face life then I am uncomfortable discussing money, debts, sex or family stuff except with super close friends. Politics, religion, government, education, social constructs, that stuff has always been okay around the house.

faye's avatar

It differs for me depending on the age of the people and their relationship to me. I’ll always think some of the hows of a person’s sex life should not be shared with me.

lacielee's avatar

hmm, you know it really depends on WHO you are talking to. but im mostly pretty shy about most things

momnipotence's avatar

I am pretty open. My situation in life is pretty….strange I suppose to some…and to others completely normal. A really good example of this is that I do not know who my daughter’s father is…and we are both okay with this. Granted, someday she will want to know and I will give her all the information I have but having been through what I have I am happy to know that she is healthy happy and content with how things are. As far as other people, if they are comfortable with me knowing then I’m cool with knowing. If I hear about it from a third party I’m less likely to bring it up.

Ajulutsikael's avatar

I’m usually pretty open about everything. The thing is that I think I’m making up for not being very trusting in my youth. I figure if I’m really open then others will be as well. Religious wise I’m usually more closed off.

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