Social Question

Frenchfry's avatar

Why do people take their bad moods on everyone around them?

Asked by Frenchfry (7584points) September 30th, 2010

My husband woke up from a nap, and he was in a bad mood. He grumped about everything. So I just left him alone. Why do people do that? Have you ever experienced this? What do you do in the situation? They are unhappy and have to make everyone unhappy around them .

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

16 Answers

chyna's avatar

I don’t. I’ve been in a bad, strange kind of mood with crying jags for the last two days. My phone has rang about 5 times and I haven’t answered it because I don’t want to take it out on anyone or just start crying in the middle of a sentence. This too will pass.
But if someone around me were acting like this, I would stay away from them until they were in a better mood.

NinjaBiscuit's avatar

It’s not that (most) people mean to be grumpy to others around them. It’s just when you’re in one of those moods, your fuse gets significantly shorter. I know mine does. Things that normally wouldn’t upset you in the slightest suddenly is the most annoying thing on earth. It’s not right to take it out on other people, but when the fuse is a lot shorter than normal sometimes people slip and let their frayed nerves get the best of them. It’s just a matter of some people can control it better than others. I’m still learning..

NinjaBiscuit's avatar

Oh, and I forgot to add that if my husband (or anyone else I’m around) is in one of those moods, I tell them that I’m going to leave them alone until they decide to get their emotions/temper under control. And I leave them be to stew in their juices until they decide to calm down. I’ve found out the hard way that arguing with them while they’re grumpy gets you nowhere fast.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

I don’t get it either, I tend to be nicer when I’m angry so I don’t accidentally flip on the wrong person.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Aahhhh, the post-nap grumps. Yeah, I get those, too. Much as I love naps, it’s not usually a good idea unless I can’t stay awake otherwise, due to the hour-long grumpiness afterwards. You’d think I’d be refreshed or something. ;)

As @NinjaBiscuit said, I don’t think most people intend to spread their grumpiness, but when everything is super irritating, it’s hard to tamp down and keep it to yourself. Especially if the other person won’t leave you alone. I think if it’s something someone does commonly, then it’s selfishness combined with having some problems if they’re grumpy a lot.

The nice, reasonable thing to do is to say, Hey, I’m feeling cranky, could I be left alone for a bit?

NinjaBiscuit's avatar

@MissAnthrope “Hey, I’m feeling cranky, could I be left alone for a bit?” Perfectly worded. If more people did this there would be a lot less arguing, lol. I don’t know why that’s so hard to remember to say when I’m in a grouchy mood!

lillycoyote's avatar

@NinjaBiscuit That’s how I handle and as long as I don’t do it to often people generally understand. I can be very difficult if one is cranky or in a bad mood to not let spill out into the rest of one’s life and the people in it. A lot people can manage and I do most of the time to not take it on other’s but I know myself well enough that when it a mood I can’t necessarily control, I would rather ask people to let me be for a while than to hurt or anger them because of my bad mood.

JustmeAman's avatar

I don’t think anyone does this on purpose. I know sometimes things just are going wrong and I feel rotten. No matter what I do or how I do it, it will be precieved as though I am being grumpy to most around me because I’m seldom that way. When my wife or others are not acting themselves just give them some time and don’t press them. Sooner or later they will be acting how you know them and then you can discuss anything you wish with them including what you just witnessed.

Response moderated (Spam)
trailsillustrated's avatar

I hate people’s bad moods. it’s like a giant stinky fart that everyone has to smell. I get mad, say take your foul mood and shove it, don’t bring it around me! really, I’m like fuck off, don’t act like that here. hate it

Berserker's avatar

As asinine as bad moods may be, they do suck to have to deal with alone. I think that people naturally do this as a means of expression, and a slight hope for help, or for someone to cheer them up. I could be wrong.

woodcutter's avatar

they usually aren’t cranky at everyone around them, just the one’s they presume they can get away doing it to, lest they make a goof and they get their ass handed to them.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@woodcutter yay hoo, my sentiments exactly

Coloma's avatar

This is something on my list of unacceptable behaviors, and, infact, I JUST let go of a 15 year ‘friendship’ with a woman who has found it far too easy to vent her stuff on me this year. Nuh uh…I don’t make excuses for emotional abuse. Period.

Part of ones ’ work’ in life is to be self aware enough to catch your shit BEFORE it hits the fan.

rts486's avatar

Misery loves company.

ramharleyvette's avatar

Just let them be. Give them their space…some people dont know how to do that. Its an emotional drain if you continue pesk someone that is in a bad mood. Maybe the person needs to get help if it is severe but everyone is entitiled to a little grumpiness. Hell with todays economy I would expect more people to have bad moods. Lots of them!!!!

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther