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Aster's avatar

Have you ever heard of this happening in any wedding? (details inside)

Asked by Aster (18860points) October 2nd, 2010

I went to a wedding. It was the first for both and they were in their twenties. At the end, the minister never said, “you may kiss the bride.” I asked the bride about this, since I knew her well enough, and she said, “we forgot.” Did she really forget or was this oversight planned in order to protect their privacy? I had not seen them engage in displays of affection when I was around them many times before the wedding so I wonder if they were actually too embarrassed to do a little kiss?

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18 Answers

rodydoe89's avatar

Maybe it was a sham… a wedding for convenience?

lillycoyote's avatar

I don’t know. You already got an answer to this question from one of the few people capable of giving you one: the bride. Maybe they did just forget. Things go wrong at weddings all the time.

zzc's avatar

In situations that are odd, such as this one, my reply is, “There’s more to the story than is known, at this time.” Wait, watch and listen and perhaps things will become clearer.

Aster's avatar

@zzc Maybe so. All I know is they seem very happy and have three beautiful sons who are well behaved. Both bride and groom are teachers and well respected members of their community. I am thinking it was because they are such private people about certain things.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Since it is up to the person performing the ceremony to give the cue to kiss, maybe he/she is the one who forgot. As @lillycoyote said, the bride gave you the answer, and it would technically fit into the ‘we’ response.

lillycoyote's avatar

Sometimes things simply are what they are and have a very not at all mysterious or hidden agenda, straightforward answer. My father told me this story once: He was a chemist and a young couple, from India I think, started working for the company and the wife worked in the building my dad worked in and the husband worked in another building. At the end of every day the husband would come pick up his wife and she would get in the back seat of the car. Well, there was all sorts of gossip, discussion and speculation, mostly among the women, I hate to admit, about what this meant. Was it some weird foreign custom? Was the wife not permitted to sit in the seat beside her husband? Was she allowed to speak to him even? This went on for about a month until one day the husband picked up his wife and she got in the front seat of the car. My father eventually learned that the reason the wife had been getting into the back seat was because the front passenger seat door was broken, the couple had only just finished graduate school and moved to the area and simply couldn’t afford to get the car door fixed until they got their first paychecks. Simple as that. Sometimes things are only as odd and inexplicable as our imaginations make them out to be.

zzc's avatar

It doesn’t make sense,“We forgot.” The minister forgot, and the couple, neither one, noticed, at the time? It makes more sense that the three agreed, ahead of time, to leave it out. I stick with, there’s more to the story.

Aster's avatar

@zzc Yes; I’m pretty sure it was an agreement. But “more to the story” could only mean , I think, they agreed to keep their privacy in light of how the groom was Very inexperienced in the dating world and , in his own way, a shy person. So I think it was his idea, not as much hers.

Trillian's avatar

When I ask someone a question and they give me an answer I assume they’re telling the truth. Or at least they’re telling me as much as they feel I’m entitled to know. Even if they’re lying, it’s probably a lie that does not involve telling outsiders intimate details about their psonal lives that do not concern them. And it’s more courteous and tactful than saying “None of your business.”

lillycoyote's avatar

Yes, and what @Trillian said too. :-)

Jeruba's avatar

The wedding was long enough ago that the couple has three children now. Maybe it’s time to let it go.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Wait; I’m confused. Did this wedding happen a long time ago, the couple now has three children, and you’re still thinking about it? Or did they just get married within the last few weeks, but have three children between them?

zzc's avatar

@Trillain & lillycoyote, I agree with both of you. It isn’t anyone else’s business, yes it is nicer than saying that. It is an odd thing that may have a simple explanation. I just said when something odd happens, that just doesn’t seem to add up, it’s often because there is more to the story, not that anyone is entitled to know, more of the story. But, sometimes, as time passes, it just unfolds.
My, “It doesn’t make sense…” was suppose to come after Aster responded to me, but Pied Pfeffer and Lilly coyote beat me. Sorry, it may have seemed like a strong protest, unintended

Trillian's avatar

@zzc no offense taken. Ty for the fuller explanation of your comment.

lillycoyote's avatar

@zzc Thanks. I often find I have to come back and clarify something I’ve said, either because I didn’t say it clearly enough the first time, because I said it clearly but people still seemed to have misunderstood or because the back and forth of the thread seemed to have unfolded a bit out of order, like you said. It can get very confusing here sometimes. And I am easily confused.:-)

Aster's avatar

@Jeruba I think of “letting go” as something you should do after a long time has passed; sort of a “get over it.” But in this case, I was just remembering something that did happen a long time ago . I didn’t know that it was abnormal to ask a question about something that wasn’t recent. I really didn’t.
I can’t get over it because I was never traumatized or depressed; therefore, there is nothing to get over. I was curious, that’s all.

zzc's avatar

Aster, I think it’s ok to ask questions from any time period ((Hugs)).

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