General Question

babygalll's avatar

How do you get a guy to trust/believe you?

Asked by babygalll (2748points) March 30th, 2008

I know this guy that basically doesn’t trust me or believe me. I haven’t lied to him about anything and he constantly tells me I don’t believe you. Nothing specific, but he will say it just about anything. I know I am being 100% truth, but he always tells me this. What should I do?

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11 Answers

kevbo's avatar

I’m not trying to be flippant when I say this, but stop caring about it. Unless you work with him or something and your job depends on him trusting you (or something similar along those lines), then ignore it.

joevip's avatar

dump him and move on he has problems , not good for long term relationship ,keep on trucking

richardhenry's avatar

I second kevbo. This guy doesn’t sound like he deserves your trust.

@joevip: Unless I misread something, she’s not going out with him?

srmorgan's avatar

You have go into a relationship trusting your partner. If you don’t you will never get off the ground. Your attitude will be cynical or negative and it will erode or poison the relationship.

I am not suggesting that you reveal your innermost secrets or your personal financial statements on the first date but you have to start out assuming that things are going to go well and that he or she is being honest and genuine in order for the whole thing to be healthy. If he or she is untrustworthy, that will come out sooner rather than later and the relationship will end up on the trashheap where it probably belongs.

The one thing you must have is trust. Without it, you’re finished. Whether dating or approaching your 40th anniversary. Many transgressions can be forgiven and even forgotten but not a betrayal of trust..

Based on your comments, I would cut your losses and dump this clown. It’s better to sit at home with a six-pack of Budweiser and a good DVD than to go out and waste your time with someone like this.

SRM

Response moderated
babygalll's avatar

@ninechars: What does DTMFA mean?

scamp's avatar

Who is this guy to you? Is he someone you are interested in? Everyone seems to have assumed you are dating him. I find from personal experience that people who are so mistrusting have something hidden in their own closet, and usually can’t be trusted themselves. Since you know you have been truthful, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Just be yourself, and let him deal with his own issues.

Have you asked him why he is so distrusting?

cwilbur's avatar

Why do you need him to trust you?

If it’s because you value being trustworthy, well, you know you’re telling the truth, so move on.

joevip's avatar

yeah that’s what I say

Response moderated
snowberry's avatar

Hon, it’s not about you. It’s his baggage getting in the way of your relationship, or potential relationship. As long as he’s living in his past, there will be no future between you. If this is a work situation, he’s likely to be a problem. If it’s in your personal life, dump him. If he’s family, ignore him.

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