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Evelyn_475's avatar

Will the racism that emanates from the majority of the African American female population towards white women diminish in the future?

Asked by Evelyn_475 (787points) October 5th, 2010

Disclaimer: I treat all individuals, regardless of skin color, with the respect in which I would like to be treated with. I am a white woman who is dating a black man. We have been dating for a year and a half and I have discovered through several first hand experiences that African American women treat me as if I am beneath them, and actually show hostility towards me because I am dating a black man. Of course these statements have been confirmed by my boyfriend. Things have been said to him from his African American female friends about me and the fact that I am white. I understand that there is this divide, but my question revolves around the prospect of hope. Will this debauchery end given enough time, or am I always going to receive such negativity from his culture? What do you think fluther?

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20 Answers

iamthemob's avatar

Is this properly categorized as racism? I think this is a hostility that comes from several sources, and isn’t based on an idea that white women are somehow inferior to black women.

kevbo's avatar

Racism implies a disparity in power. You are talking about prejudice.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Link? I don’t accept anecdotal evidence of one person as proof of a ‘racist phenomenon’ that emanates from a majority of any kind of people to all kind of people of a different race. I suggest you consider history, context and systemic racism (that actually occurs from white—> people of color only, imo and isn’t the same as individual racism or prejudice) before trying to make statements like you did. Given all that, I’m sorry some people give you an attitude – there is a lot of racial tension in the U.S., subconcious and not and you need to simply be above it and lead by example.

bob_'s avatar

It will most likely diminish, the way racism in general has diminished (e.g., no more segregated schools), the key word being diminish: it will probably never disappear completely.

You should also be prepared for people dismissing your concerns.

EDIT: there was an article in Essence, around March 2010, where the author, a black woman, talked about this. I’ll try to find it; to be honest I’m not even sure it was that magazine, I just saw a review on CNN.

tedd's avatar

I’ve actually always been treated quite well by black women, even the ones who are your stereotypical ghetto loud black women.

Maybe thats just me?

Steve_A's avatar

It will always exist to extent.

Will it get better with time, yes.

People seem to forget just only 50 years ago or so, there was a Civil Rights movement. It takes time really and that is all.

Education, understanding,laws and all this will help. I believe a more balanced and fair system within smaller communities would not make things look so uneven but that’s more of another conversation and would be going off topic.

Also if anything you are not alone. I am sure people get looked and talked about from all angles of mixing race and ethnics.

Loried2008's avatar

I think that behavior is definitely racist. They are judging her based on the fact that she is white. Would it not be considered racist if a black woman was dating a white male friend of mine and I acted like that towards her? Same difference if you ask me. Although I agree with @jaytkay that you should not say “the majority” of African American women act this way. I personally have several African American girlfriends that I would never see behaving like that. Is there hostility shown towards interracial relationships? Yes. I think it also has a lot to do with the environment you live in. With time I’d like to think this sort of thing would get better.

bob_'s avatar

Here is the article I mentioned above.

This, of course, does not constitute anything other than anecdotal evidence. However, I think it will give you some insight.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I know this phenomenon exists, though to what degree, I cannot begin to speculate. I would hope, in time, that people will eventually see past the color of other people’s skin. However, race in the US is a highly complicated and charged topic. It’s not like one minority dislikes white people for no reason at all.. there has been rampant, systemic racism for the majority of our existence on this continent. I figure we’ve made some amazing leaps and bounds in the past 50–60 years and I truly hope we can go even further, where we get to the point of seeing people as people rather than some idea based on how they look.

I would like to say that this question does not strike me as racist, nor does it strike me as prejudicial. It is, however, a fallacious generalization.

Generalizations can be a valid method of argument. Inductive reasoning, in particular, is based on the ability to generalize from repeated experiences or observations. The soundness of an inductive generalization can usually be determined by asking the following questions:

1. Do we have a sufficient number of instances to draw a conclusion?
2. Is the breadth of the conclusion drawn supported by the evidence?
3. Are the terms of the conclusion consistent with the terms of the evidence?

Fallacies result if any of these questions can be answered in the negative. (link)

wundayatta's avatar

What kind of neighborhood do you live in? What kind of neighborhood would you like to live in if you aren’t living where you want to be?

I just was at a presentation about a study of interracial couples. It investigated the question of where interracial couples live and how comfortable they feel in those neighborhoods. Not unsurprisingly, the study found that if the couple lived in an area that was predominantly one race, the member of the couple that wasn’t of that race really had a hard time. The study found that couples that lived in more evenly mixed neighborhoods felt a lot better about where they lived. I was a qualitative study, so we can’t generalize from it, but I’ll bet you that if we did a random survey, we’d find the same was true in the larger population of interracial couples.

So what does this have to do with your question, you might ask. I think that as long as we have significant segregation in the neighborhoods of this country, racism will stay alive and well. As the people mix more and more, then the racism will begin to decline.

Mixing requires that poor people can get out of poverty so they can afford nicer homes that probably are going to be in whiter neighborhoods. Poverty has been around a long time, and I’m not it is a solvable problem—at least, not in countries that believe that a certain amount of poverty is good (it creates a workforce that will work for less, thus limiting the power of other workers to demand better pay and working conditions).

As long as there is significant poverty (and it is growing), there will be less mixing of populations. As long as populations remain segregated, racism will thrive. As long as racism thrives, you are going to get shit from your SO’s family and friends and neighbors.

Sure, racism will diminish. Will it be in your life time? I don’t know. But I’d say the change, if there is any, will be agonizingly slow.

perg's avatar

This article from The Grio looks at the response when black women date white men. Here’s another with a black woman’s take on black men with white women, though it’s a bit more flip (essentially, she sees it as a status symbol). Click on the “read more” link for “interracial dating” for more articles. also has this post on the response to the Jill Scott/Essence article cited above by @bob_

squirbel's avatar

It’s not racism, it’s hatred because [worthwhile] black men are rare and you reduced their chances at getting a mate.

Evelyn_475's avatar

@ Simone_De_Beauvoir: I actually wrote an 8 page research paper on this topic. Whether you define the behavior as racist or prejudice- my question is not whether or not this exists. The question that I asked has to do with the extent to which this will continue, or cease, and what factors will bring about the said change. Here are some scholarly [published by academic presses, and are subject to a peer-review process, which means that other “experts” or specialist in the field evaluate the quality and originality of the research as precondition of publication] references to the facts of the discussion that you might want to read if you’d like to be more informed:

Davidson, Jeanette R. “Theories about Black-White Interracial Marriage: A Clinical Perspective.” Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development 20.4 (1992): p150–57. Print.

Firebaugh, Stephanie, and Michael W Firmin. “Historical Analysis of College Campus Interracial Dating.” College Student Journal 42.3 (2008): p782–788 . Print.

Henslin, James M. Essentials Of Sociology. Custom Edition for Antelope Valley College ed. Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 2009. Print.

Kreager, Derek A. “Guarded Borders: Adolescent Interracial Romance and Peer Trouble at School.” Social Forces 87.2 (2008): p887–910 . Print.

Solsberry, Priscilla Wilson. “Interracial Couples in the United States of America: Implications for Mental Health Counseling.” Journal of Mental Health Counseling 16.3 (1994): p304–17 . Print.

Evelyn_475's avatar

@ Squirbel: You actually do have a point due to the fact that African American male infant death is higher that than of African American female infant death. There is a sort of “competition for resources” going on (resources being men of color). I also read that poverty and mass incarceration play a role in this competition.

josie's avatar

Not in your lifetime.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Evelyn_475 It might never cease to exist but that’s why I advised you to start with yourself in not making assumptions about race.

JLeslie's avatar

The way I had understood it was some black women are annoyed when a black man dates a white woman, because black women feel they have slim pickings. I never knew it was that they feel white women are beneath them?

bob_'s avatar

@JLeslie Then perhaps it is not that they are “beneath” them, but are “less deserving”? If so, why would that be?

JLeslie's avatar

@bob_ I did not perceive this topic that way at all. I see it as black men have unfortuately a significant rate of being high school drop outs and/or spending some time in jail. I thought the black women get pissed off when a white girl takes one of the good ones. This is not my opinion, this is how I understood the opinion of some black women. I have no idea what the actual statistics are, but there is a perception that when a black man becomes very successful he marries a white woman. Think Tiger Woods. But, this may not actually bare out statistically, I have no idea.

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