General Question

GeorgeGee's avatar

Did you ever ask someone like a waitress for something like a glass of water and get snapped at?

Asked by GeorgeGee (4920points) October 6th, 2010

If she snaps at you and says “I’m not STUPID, you know!” how would you respond? I’m thinking “Hey, I just asked for a glass of water, YOU KNOW…” but I’m now speechless wondering if I should get up and leave or get into a staring contest.

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23 Answers

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

She’s having a bad day. I’d go somewhere else.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I haven’t had that happen but if it did I would give her a verbal tip ;)

diavolobella's avatar

Ask to speak to the manager and inform them. Bad day or not, it’s her job to be polite to customers. If she’s upset or having a bad day, she needs to take a break and collect herself

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

I find it kinda funny how you list “mental illness” and “mental instability” as one of the tags in this question…

Try to put yourself in her shoes, dealing with people all day who may or may not be the most courteous people out there. Waitresses and salespeople have a lot to deal with since they are sometimes not treated as real people (I know this from experience). It’s understandable that they have moments where they’re not fully collected.

I do agree with @diavolobella though – it’s part of the job description to be courteous, even when customers are not. I would talk to the manager (either during the dinner date or by sending him/her a message afterward) or make her tip reflect her service.

CMaz's avatar

I wish that would happen.

Would luv to storm out and make a scene.

MrsDufresne's avatar

I would tell her that I hope the rest of her day gets better. I know what it’s like to work with public. It can be hell.

GladysMensch's avatar

So the conversation went:
“Excuse me, can I get a glass of water?”
ā€œIā€™m not STUPID, you know!ā€

Really? That’s just confusing.

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
GeorgeGee's avatar

Yes it’s confusing! And I don’t think there was anything in the water request that implied she was stupid…

AmWiser's avatar

I would have asked her “Are you having a bad day, deary?” Her answer would determine if I was leaving or staying.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

While the behavior was unprofessional, we are all human. As a customer, we don’t know what is happening behind the scenes. People show up to work when they are ill, they just lost a loved one, their SO left them that morning, or their car broke down on the way to work, just to name a few. Two other servers may have not shown up, and your server is feeling the pressure of having to cover more tables and is frustrated at not being able to provide quality service. We just never know.

If one can recover from the rudeness experienced, let it go. You can always ask if they are okay, ask for a manager, or just leave. Showing concern for their mental well-being often works in my experience. Granted, I start to lose empathy if they launch into a litany of petty complaints. Often times though, it provides a chance for them to offer an explanation for the reason they snapped, as well as an opportunity to apologize for their behavior.

chyna's avatar

Did she continue to be rude throughout your meal? If so, I would’ve spoke to the manager. If she went and collected herself and was nice after that, I would chalk it up to a bad day.

Randy's avatar

I would have just asked her what the problem is. After being asked that, she has a chance to explain herself or she can continue to be shitty. The latter would end up in me leaving. Easy as that.

jca's avatar

I agree with @GladysMensch : it was totally like “can i please have some water?” and the response was “I’m not stupid, you know!” I would find that baffling. I would not leave her a tip. Tough day or not, if that was totally what happened, there’s no excuse for that type of behavior, from a waitress or anybody else. Now if you said something more, or if you were hounding her, then maybe there’s a little more to the story? Not that you saying that would justify those comments either, but it would make it a little more understandable then her saying it for seemingly no reason.

downtide's avatar

If I was treated like that in a restaurant I would either ask for the manager (if I’d already eaten most of a meal), or I’d just walk out (if I hadn’t).

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
zophu's avatar

That’s so strange, I thought waiters and waitresses were the happiest people in the world. They’re always smiling after all. Maybe it’s not okay to encourage people to spend chunks of their waking day pretending to be content carrying food for people too stagnant to get it themselves in hopes of maybe getting paid well that day in tips? I mean, we should only look into it if there are any other occurrences of a wait-staff showing signs of unhealthy stress. Shouldn’t make any grand assumptions here. Keep us posted.

NinjaBiscuit's avatar

As a person who has worked more than her fair share in the food service industry, I know how rough your day can get and it can be kinda hard to keep a grin on your face.

With that being said ..

Number One.. how the crap is asking for water saying you’re stupid? I’m stumped on that one.
Number Two.. No matter how crappy of a day I had, I never ever snapped at customers. And dadgum it was HARD not to sometimes! But if I wanted to keep my job and keep my tips I sure as heck grinned my way through customer after customer. There was no reason for her to act that way. I know we’re all human, but if you can’t take the heat at a job like that then you need to work somewhere else.

I would have asked for the manager right then, told him what was up, and if I had my food already, asked for a to go box and leave. If I hadn’t had my food yet, I would just get up and leave after talking with said manager. I dont’ want to get my food spit in for complaining. (trust me, it happens more than you think.)

MissAnthrope's avatar

Thankfully, no, because it would seriously piss me off and I’d have to do something about it. I’ve waited tables for 10 years and my standards for people waiting on me are somewhat different than people who have never been in the business.

The simplest. fucking. thing. about serving is to keep someone’s drink refilled. Any server worth their salt knows that that is a key element to a table’s happiness. Granted, sometimes you’re slammed and running around, or you have one table that is taking up all your time, and maybe you’re behind on refilling drinks. Fine. But a good server stops by and lets you know they see your empty glass and will get you a refill as soon as they can.

If the server tells me they’re having issues that day, I can at least be understanding. But I will not accept bitchiness or bad attitudes towards me – I have nothing to do with it. Not only that, WTF with a bad attitude and expecting me to tip them after that? Not likely.

If service is crappy and I can see it’s the server and not the restaurant/other tables/kitchen, that server will get little to no tip. If it was especially bad and there was an attitude problem, I will leave them a short note with the tip to let them know why their tip suffered. (and that is key, because if you just leave a bad tip, the server will call you an asshole and move on)

If the server went so far as to snap at me, I would be livid and I would get up immediately and go find the manager, cause that’s absolute bullshit.

alovehangoverr's avatar

I probably would have laughed.

But then again, I laugh at really inappropriate times.

Or just said “nice customer service sweetheart.”

To be honest though.. this is why I stopped working customer service. I was a cashier & I got to the point where I knew I was going to rip someones head off. After dealing with assholes & creeps for hours on end, my patience was wearing wayyy to thin. So, to an extent, I can understand the attitude.. but ultimately, if you can’t handle the truckload of crap that comes with a customer service/retail based job then you shouldn’t be working there.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
stratman37's avatar

Not only did she just blow her tip, I’d get her name and talk with her manager about it. What if the guy at the nuclear plant is having a bad day and decides to initiate a meltdown? Justified? No!

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

@stratman37 Somehow I don’t see how snapping at someone is quite equivalent to causing a nuclear disaster, but…

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