General Question

The_Inquisitor's avatar

Is being "timid" an unattractive characteristic in your eyes?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3158points) October 6th, 2010

My definition of timid is: easily frightened, or shy.

I found it quite offensive when a co-worker of mine told me that I was “timid”. I didn’t like the sound of the word at all. I told him that I was only timid in certain places, and being new to that work area, I was nervous as well. I asked him if it was a bad thing, and the reply was “yes”. He also told me that I needed to be corrupted! I found him to be a little irritating afterwards.

Sure, I was timid there, and yes, I can be timid in some places, depending on the people, and my comfortability, but his straightforwardness and suggestion of me becoming corrupt, I found somewhat rude.

Anyhow, how would you view a “timid” person? I suppose they would seem not too fun, or even annoying?

I feel as if my personality ranges a bit too much, but those that know me well have seen it all. Those that know me well also know that I’m barely ever “timid’.

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25 Answers

ucme's avatar

Depends, if an individual is basically a Dudley Doofus ubergeek who jumps when he farts, then that’s not going to look good at all. On the other hand, a little bashfulness can be quite cute. I mean. look at that little dwarf…...he my favourite :¬)

Nullo's avatar

It has the potential to make you somewhat difficult to get along with.

It is perfectly normal for you to be uneasy in an alien environment, though. Personally, I’ve found that it takes me a couple of weeks before I unwind enough to be interesting.

DominicX's avatar

My boyfriend’s timidity is part of what attracted me to him. I thought it was just so adorable. :) I always thought of him as being “innocent” and I wasn’t the first person to tell him that, actually. I found a friend of his had told him that once before.

Of course, he wasn’t that timid/shy and he’s much less so than he used to be, but still. I just thought it was cute. Maybe if it had been more extreme, I would’ve been bothered by it.

downtide's avatar

A complete absence of self-confidence is unattractive to me. But a little bit of timidness is more attractive to me than arrogance.

NaturallyMe's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with being a little shy, and it’s not a bad thing either (in small amounts). I used to be VERY shy and that hindered me a little, but i’m a little better now. I do find it a little turn-offish for a guy to be very shy, but i find it more acceptable in women. That may sound weird, but so it is for me. Either way, sometimes it’s just more OK to be shy, depending on the circumstances.
As for the easily scared bit, that could become a little annoying if it’s a very pronounced trait.

anartist's avatar

Wrong is neither here nor there.
It can be costly, however, if it holds you back from going after what you want in life.

Cruiser's avatar

Timid is a good healthy quality at your age and will help keep you out of trouble. He sounds like a colossal asshole and if he ever gets in your face like that again or suggests you need to be corrupted…show him firsthand how untimid you are and corrupt his nads with a well placed knee to his groin!

OpryLeigh's avatar

If someone comes across as being too timid then I don’t find it very attractive. If someone is timid to the point of not speaking up when necessary (or when they do, you can’t hear them anyway) then I find that a bit pathetic and, in all honesty, I often find myself wanting to give people like that a good shake! However, I don’t think that being shy is a particularly bad quality if that person can get over their shyness once they have got over the initial “breaking the ice” period. I know one girl who is so shy that, no matter how many times you meet and speak to her, every time you see her again it is like the very first time and you have to break the ice with her over and over.

MissAusten's avatar

I think it depends on too many other factors to say. Someone who is shy or timid in new situations or with new people is a lot different from someone who is so timid end up ignored or walked all over. The first case can be endearing, but wouldn’t last long enough to become irritating. The second case is more about a lack of confidence, and to me that would be unattractive.

When I was younger, I’m sure I could have been called timid in certain situations, and so would a couple of my best friends. None of us were always like that, and as got older we all became less likely to be affected that way by new people or new situations. I wouldn’t put any weight on what your coworker said. He doesn’t know you well enough to be accurate, and his opinion doesn’t matter anyway.

Blackberry's avatar

Yes, I would feel like I’m on a date with a 10 year old girl.

CaptainHarley's avatar

It’s ok for people to be a bit timid. Personally, I prefer a woman who will stand at my back and hack ‘em down when they come from that direction, but that’s just me. : )

thekoukoureport's avatar

I don’t think he wanted you to become corrupt, I think he may have been referring to your innocence, and how corrupting that tends to bring harder edges to a person.

A lack of confidence is a very unattractive trait to me. I always feel like I am taking advantage of that kind of person. I certainly understand how one con be that way believe me, but in a working environment especially I would want my co-worker to take action and take responsibility so WE can get the job done and go home.

Be confident in who you are and F*&k what he thinks.

Trillian's avatar

There’s always one. Congratulations! You’ve met the “one” in your office. Avoid him when you can. Do not ever trust him. Tell him nothing personal about yourself that you don’t want discssed with others. Do not allow him to talk you into doing anything that you do not want to do. Do not make an enemy of him as he is unscrupulous and will back stab you if he gets a chance.
Lie low, watch your back. Spend more time listening than speaking. Make sure you have your ducks in a row at all times.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It seems like there often is someone who gets annoyed by other’s timidness. It is probably because they aren’t and prefer people who act like they do.

I have never been called timid, and I have no problem with people who are. What I’ve found is that when they do speak up or do something that others would consider out of that person’s comfort zone, people sit up and take notice.

Aster's avatar

It isn’t a turn-on, that’s for sure, but at least it’s rare!!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

In a partner, timidity is unattractive to me, yes. In a friend, it’s fine.

tinyfaery's avatar

“Shyness is nice and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to.”

It’s not unattractive at all. But as others have said, it could keep you from living a full life. It can also stop you from making a complete fool of yourself in new situations. Go after what you want and you’ll be find.

As far as that coworker saying you need to be corrupted, stay away from him. What kind of person says that to someone they just met?

alovehangoverr's avatar

I think being “timid” or “shy” can be endearing & maybe attractive at first.. but over time? No thanks. I need someone more aggressive. Who handles their life instead of life handling them.

I used to be painfully shy—I still can be in some circumstances, & do you know where that’s got me? Absolutely no where.

Forcing myself to come out of my shell, put myself out there, etc.. has really changed my life around. Not only in relationships, but in my career. You really don’t get anywhere in your professional life by being timid & not speaking up for yourself & going after what you want with conviction.

As for the co-worker & his idea of “corruption”—ew. Dude sounds like a creep. You don’t need to be “corrupted” in any way, shape, or form to be confident & capable. Whatta weirdo.

Jude's avatar

I like them when they’re a little bit shy, at first. Eventually, they come out of their shell), and we’re both comfortable and ourselves around each other.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I agree with @downtide about timidity in general. As you’ve described it though it sound like your coworker isn’t that good at compliments and flirting to show an interest and is going about it like a elementary school kid by slightly bullying. Just my first thoughts.

lloydbird's avatar

Yes it is. Who dares wins and all that.
However, you don’t sound “timid” in the circumstances that you describe. More likely careful or cautious. And well done you.

Jabe73's avatar

Yes it shows someone is actually human. I’m not talking about overwhelming fear but any normal person gets nervous and even shows it, some more than others. Some people are so confident that they’ve turn into robots. Some fear to me is cute (I’m somewhat of a nervous dude myself) for it shows someone is down-to-earth and still human yet.

Mista_Reflexivity's avatar

Timidness is a terrible characteristic.

lonelydragon's avatar

No. Each personality trait has its advantages and disadvantages, and timidity is no different. Others have already listed the disadvantages, so I will focus on the positive. Being on the shy side can be good, because the world needs people who are reserved to balance out the more aggressive ones. Also, sometimes it’s good to stand back for a bit and observe before jumping into a conversation. For example, it would be wise to be guarded around this particular co-worker. He sounds arrogant and unpleasant.

Nullo's avatar

The Shrinking Violet is a somewhat popular archetype. Most of them stop shrinking with enough character development.

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