Social Question

Pandora's avatar

Do you know a couple who signifies the real meaning of marriage and why?

Asked by Pandora (27757points) October 7th, 2010

I think most people have that one or two couples in their mind that set the example for us growing up of what a strong couple looks like.
For me it was my parents and my best friends parents. It was funny to look at them. They weren’t the Ozzie and Harriet couple of tv. My mom and dad were opposites. My dad was passive but firm and my mother, well there is no real description. LOL She would take a half of novel to describe. Any how, some how they just meshed well. He knew how to calm her down and he could make her laugh and be angry at the same time. And she was his strength when he needed her.
With my friends parents, they hardly spoke and yet they seem to always know what the other one was thinking. He was the strong serious silent type, she was the emotional yet very loving and generous person.
You wouldn’t ever dream of these couples being together but they were magic between them.
My parents would’ve still been together had he not passed away, and my friends parents are still happily married.
Both argued but they seemed to never be able to stay angry. You could see the sheer misery on their faces when their partners were angry with them.
So who was your couple? Do you think they effected how you view marriage?

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24 Answers

faye's avatar

I have so many, my parents, friends and my neighbors. The one common denominator besides love seems to be laughing together, genuinely enjoying each other’s company. I’m sure trust and respect are behind this enjoying each other.

YARNLADY's avatar

My husband and I have been married for 35 years and still going strong. My parents and in laws were married their entire lives (MIL widowed now), and my Sister In Law and her husband are still going strong after 30 years.

meiosis's avatar

There is no real meaning of marriage – every couple is different. And you don’t have to be married to be in a strong, loving relationship with solid foundations – I have friends who’ve been together, unmarried, for 23 years now, and as far as I can tell, they seem to be doing just fine. I also have long time married friends, most of whom seem to be lovely together, and few who seem to be locked in a spiral of synergetic destruction, apparently unable to pull themselves apart.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

No, because each couple decides for themselves what the real meaning of marriage is. Even when I look at a couple and have my own opinions on if their relationship is working or healthy or whatever, I can never really know because I’m not in that relationship (although, if one of them has bruises or broken bones, it’s going to be hard to convince me it’s a healthy relationship…).

hug_of_war's avatar

My parents were married for 23 years, so things aren’t always as they appear.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@hug_of_war Mine were married 26 before they split. Man, if you can’t relax after 20 years, when can you?

Pandora's avatar

@papayalily I actually think relaxing may be the problem with some long term relationships. They take each other for granted till one of them can’t stand being ignored. We constantly change. I know, I am not the girl of 21 whom my husband married 28 years old. If we both didn’t make an effort to know and adapt to each others changes than I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be happy today.
True that you don’t always know how a relationship is unless your in it, (even then at times one partner may be under a delusion) but you can usually gage who seems to be happiest and in it for the long haul and whos struggling to stay above water.

BoBo1946's avatar

Most of my friends and family have long marriages. My brother has been married for almost 40 years. Just about all my golfing friends have been married forever.

No, my view on marriage was ruined by my ex..of almost 20 years. Never say never….but, that was enough, probably!

Pandora's avatar

@BoBo1946 :(
She was crazy to let you go.
I wonder if they did a study on guys who golf if they would find a bigger percentage of successful marriage. ( Tiger Woods would mess that up. LOL)
I guess if you can stand around all day waiting to hit a tiny ball in a tiny hole, you have to have a ton of patience and can have the patience needed in a marriage. LMAO
Now I want to see a study done on golfers and compare them to football players marriages.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Pandora she had a collison where menopause met with bi-polar. Bad bad combination. Hell on Earth….

Pandora's avatar

@BoBo1946 So what your saying is, she was crazy. ;p

BoBo1946's avatar

@Pandora lmao….first cousins!

cazzie's avatar

My parents had an odd relationship. They were together for over 50 years, but it was by no means happy all the way, but there was certainly a lot of love there.

One of my brothers probably has the nicest marriage I know of. His high school sweetheart got pregnant their senior year and it was a ‘shotgun’ wedding, as they say. She’s an amazing woman and I count her as a sister, and they had four great kids together. They’ve gone through their ups and downs together, including an inoperable brain tumour that she’s dealing with.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I know a few couples that seem to work well, many years + continued respect+ evidence that they are still goony in love. I can’t equate total # of years with a good marriage because I’ve seen too many that are always angry or disrespectful to each other that hold carry the number of years around like a banner.

Loried2008's avatar

My parents. They are perfect in every way for each other and their love has inspired me in finding my husband who I also share an amazing relationship with :)

Cruiser's avatar

My parents. My mom once told me that she has changed so many times over the years that my dad has had 5 wives! She is hilarious. I know that they had their rough patches and I kinda think that a God fearing belief in the institution of marriage is what kept them together for 53 years and running. They are like school kids still out playing golf every day and having the time of their life.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Three:

P and R, who’ve been together for 20 years, both guys. They wear rings, and they’ve been faithful to each other all this time.

A and L, who not only have to deal with the challenge of 2 severely autistic children who will end up having to be institutionalized in the near future, but L has MS now. They still love each other, enjoy each other’s company and are really good friends.

I and W, when they were both alive. They raised 11 children together, and though they had their challenges, I learned from them that one fight, even with frightening screaming, or one instance of anger doesn’t mean the whole relationship is kaput (unfortunately, I grew up believing that if someone is angry with you at all, for any reason, that means that they now hate you forever).

john65pennington's avatar

My parents were married to each other for 56 years. my wife and i are about to celebrate our 45 th year of marriage together.

I think longevity in a marriage is somehow built into our genes. some couples cannot stay married a whole year, while other couples just seem to last forever. why is this?

I think it borders on shear determination, from both people, to make their marriage work. to set the example for their children and other young couples to follow. this was the situation with my wife and i. oh, and i forget the main part…......love and respect for each other is paramount. if you don’t have it, you are not gonna make it.

Pandora's avatar

@john65pennington I think it helps if you married each other for the right reason and keep other people out of your marriage and have a realistic view of marriage and what you expect from each other. A lot of people today don’t understand that it takes team work. Both of my sister in law was more in love with the idea of a large wedding than the groom. They both divorce in less than a year.
Ever watch Bridzilla? All those brides are concerned about the big day and how they will look. Not a one gives a thought about the fact its a day about their union.
My husband and I had a JP wedding. As a little girl I dreamt about the big wedding, but as woman, I only dreamt of being with my husband and a JP wedding made it so much more personal for us.

lucifer's avatar

If this isn’t true love, I don’t know what is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GqUirhJHWI

Seaofclouds's avatar

My grandparents had a marriage that I always admired. They were married for almost 50 years when my grandfather passed away. I always viewed my parents marriage as one I would not want for myself. I learned a lot about what I don’t want from them. They finally split up when I was almost 19, after 22 years of marriage. They are both much happier now than they ever were together (from what I can remember).

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My ex in-laws: Faithful and actively interested in the other person enough for them to weather hardtimes and illness along with all the good stuff.

An ex sister-in-law and her husband: They weathered addiction and went on to make great life changes. Together. They give me hope in the power of forgiveness.

YARNLADY's avatar

People who are saying length doesn’t mean a happy marriage are overlooking the fact that happy and marriage values are not necessarily the same thing.

Disclaimer – I personally believe in divorce. However, when marriage is a sacred vow for better or worse it really means that two people are pledging their lives to each other.

If the marriage is nothing more than a legal contract in order to satisfy the law, the real meaning of that marriage is closer to what I believe most people have.

perspicacious's avatar

Yes, I know many.

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