General Question

zen_'s avatar

What do you do when you and your partner's internal clocks are set at different times?

Asked by zen_ (6273points) October 8th, 2010

You know what I mean; night owl vs. early bird.

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10 Answers

daytonamisticrip's avatar

You to are either going to have deal with it or one of you is going to have to adapt to the others time.

GeorgeGee's avatar

She would go to sleep while I’d stay on the computer for hours later. And she’d get up and get breakfast started while I was still asleep.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

Simple solution, kick your fluther addiction get off the computer and go to bed when she goes to bed.

zen_'s avatar

^ It’s not like that, really. I actually haven’t been on in over a week. It’s that she needs about 7 plus hours sleep and I need about 4. I am useless in the early evening and sometimes fall asleep like a child – only to be up at 3 a.m. But I am always up with the crack of dawn, and am not tired during the day – which means I’m ok (sleepwise). She can stay up til midnight, then sleep til 7.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Time to clean his clock until he sees things my way ;)

judochop's avatar

Your clock is just set differently. These are things that happen. Are you and your partner married? My GF goes to bed at 1am while I stay up until 4am sometimes. You can take your laptop in the bedroom when she goes to bed if you want to try and match her for her sake. I will lay awake for hours watching movies late at night sometimes.
If you can’t live your life to make your partner happy without sacrificing your own happiness then you should not do it.

lucifer's avatar

Sigh… I have the same problem… My s/o goes to sleep by 10:30 and gets up by 6. Tried that for a day. Failed miserably. Shot Self.

Anyway, typically I sleep at 2–4 a.m. and the only way we can catch up and spend is in the night, I stay with her till she goes to sleep. Gives me a chance to take a half an hour break. In the morning, she wakes me up, whenever she can at least so its a pretty neat arrangement. During the weekends, we sleep late and get up late on Saturday and get up relatively on Sundays so that we can slowly match each other’s times :)

Hope this helps :)

zzc's avatar

People with internal clock differences need to accommodate it. Sometimes it’s just a change of perspective, that each of you can have your alone time, when you know the other is going to need to be asleep. You also need to find a time when each of you will be awake and plan on having together time. I had a partner who required little sleep, like you, but, he would get mad that I was asleep. I was sleeping an average schedule and number of hours. I think it was sometimes challenging for him, to be awake so much, and alone. Brain storm together about seeing an advantage in the difference. I personally feel, it’s important to have some alone, undisturbed time, to spend however you choose, uninterrupted. . .meditate, exercise, read, have a hobby,get work done, do housework, write that great novel, watch the taped shows you love and the other doesn’t, put your head phones on and rock out to the music you prefer, luxuriate in a bath, go do the grocery shopping when there isn’t a crowd etc.! I think having that time and being comfortable with it helps keep a balance and can enhance the time when you are together.
I know someone who got angry because his wife was consistently 15 min. late when they planned to meet. With his second wife, who did the same thing, he planned to have something to read and that he would have a chance to read for about 15 min.. He said it made a world of difference, accepting the difference, and making it a neutral or positive thing.

mattbrowne's avatar

Use the overlapping being awake time more effectively.

john65pennington's avatar

My wife and i are both night owls. i generally fall asleep around midnight. wife has a sleep disorder and takes Lanesta around 2 am.Lanesta gives her 8 solid hours of sleep. i only sleep about 5.5 hours and i am ready to go. as you can see, we have about a four hour gap in our sleeping time. i made the decision that i would not change our sleeping habits. why? that four hours i put to use. i either work on bills or work on Fluther, since i retired. for once, i get to enjoy the quietness of the morning with fresh coffee.

Its what two people decide, that makes the difference in their sleep patterns. i gave in to my wife, simply because of her sleep apnea and i have never regretted it. sure, i spend a lot of time alone in the mornings. but, this is always a great time to sit and just think about everything that going on in your life, your family and the world. i never watch the news. its all bad and i have had enough “bad” for 44 years.

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