Social Question

truecomedian's avatar

How do you deal with racism?

Asked by truecomedian (3932points) October 9th, 2010

Let me narrow it down. How would you respond and how would you feel if someone you were close to turned out to actually hate you because they were raised to be racist? They may not be aware of it totally, of these tendencies. Basically, looking at the entire “friendship” it’s obvious now that this has been escalating into a worse and worse scenario and it’s gotten very serious. The fact that makes this situation unique is that one person, raised to be a local, attacking another person, of the same race, who is seen as an outsider.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

15 Answers

CaptainHarley's avatar

Be the bigger person and don’t rise to race-baiting. The whole damned thing is as foolish as a flea crawling up an elephant’s leg with rape on his mind!

In my humble opinion, most racism is the result of a weak personality needing someone else to look down on so they can feel better about themselves. This type of person is more to be pitied than anything else.

lucifer's avatar

Racism can be a B*tch, I know, but like @CaptainHarley said, if you ignore the baiting and steer clear of it all, the commotion would just die down.

@truecomedian, considering its a close friend, you may find it difficult to “distance” yourself. In this case, its just best to talk out with each other with a third close friend also present. Its just like getting a homophobic friend to come to terms with the fact that one of his friends is Gay. All you need to do is make his understand that you’re no different from the friend you were and that your color, race, sexuality and religious preferences shouldn’t stand in the way of your friendship.

But if you feel that you’re not getting across, I think that although its painful, you should consider cutting your ties with him before either of you cause permanent damage to each other.

Hope this helps :)

Your_Majesty's avatar

Racist people will never be my friends. I simply don’t need them and will ignore them as much as I could as long as they keep their tail out of my way.

partyparty's avatar

That person can’t possibly be as close to you as you are perhaps thinking they are.
Keep away from them, It won’t help you at all.

mattbrowne's avatar

Point out that science has proved that the premises of racism are incorrect. Only ignorant people cling to racism.

choppersangel's avatar

It may be that this person is actually struggling desperately in some way to come to terms with their feelings. The ‘racist’ aspect of their attack may be a way of sidestepping some other issue, or focusing their own muddle on someone close. The phrase ‘we always hurt the one we love’, is not a cliche, more of a sad truth. Playing together, working or becoming friends means boundaries are lowered. Can you find a way to approach this person directly to ask them about their behaviour?

Specifically, to enquire without accusation. For instance: “How come you are behaving this way towards me/someone?”. Don’t ask ‘why?’, it is an almost unanswerable question. Try the ‘how come’, or ‘how did you decide to’ behave/treat/expresss yourself… This might help to defuse the situation, the lack of accusation provides level ground for finding out more useful information.

We all have reasons for our behaviours. Not excuses, but personal truths. Each of us is culpable when we behave in ways that cause pain or concern. Asking for someone’s truth, permitting them to express that, without judging or looking for excuses can often help provide new, more solid communication. It may be that both of you could learn something helpful, which might strengthen the friendship. Or, at least find that it is time to move on to new friendships with less judgemental people. Good luck.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@CaptainHarley expressed exactly how I feel about it :)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

This has been happening in our families for generations with undesirable traits amongst members being blamed or attributed to whatever “those” people were pointed out at the time. We deal with it by trying to acknowledge it’s futile to tear each other down but shooting from the hip still happens:

BratLady's avatar

Tell them you will not tolerate racism. If the person doesn’t like that then too bad for them.
I don’t put up with such BS. The way I see it is there’s good and bad in everyone so the tone of their skin don’t matter to me.

MeinTeil's avatar

I simply refuse to perpetuate it by paying any attention to it, talk about it, or having it influence any of my decesions.

rooeytoo's avatar

The only person in this world you can control is you. The best lessons on how to live are taught by example rather than preaching. Lead the life you feel is proper and let the rest of the world observe your behavior. It is the only way.

The most interesting part of this philosophy is how difficult it is to actually do. It is truly much easier to rant and rave about the rest of the world and to insist they change to suit you than it is to change your self. It is a hard lesson but a valuable one.

Jabe73's avatar

I’ve seen racism first hand and have been the victim of it myself (I’m white). I don’t know because there are different reasons why many resort to this behaviour.

I have a link posted below. This happened in an area not too far from where I live, I actually worked in that area though it was about an hour away from where I lived. All I can say about this case is that I was shocked by the hatred and racism that really does exist where I live (on this level). I am in shock so many have come to the aid and even openly supported the sons of bitches that committed this horrible offense upon another human. So much so that I’m actually considering moving from the entire area for good. Since I personally knew many people involved with this case (including the crooked cops who did everything they could to cover the crime up) I know alot more details about this case than all of you.

These punks are currentely being tried on a “hate crime” offense on the federal level since they all were acquitted during their state trial. Well one was found guilty of simple harrassment. I am shocked by the hateful reactions of many around me including those I’ve worked with. Disguisting. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/07/25/national/main4296242.shtml

ChaosCross's avatar

Easy, you prove them wrong with your actions. Truth, if correctly represented, will always be made known eventulally.

sweetsugaryandohsohot's avatar

if they start saying things about the colour of your skin. ditch them. their not worth hanging out with if they do

partyparty's avatar

@mattbrowne Exactly my sentiments :)

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther