Social Question

truecomedian's avatar

How do you know when it's romantic love or hate?

Asked by truecomedian (3932points) October 9th, 2010

If someone purports to love you, and then insists that you love them also, what do you do if you don’t feel that way? (i.e. you don’t love them?)

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14 Answers

Your_Majesty's avatar

I’ll tell them right away. Although I still give them a chance to pass my ‘defenses’,only for persistent people.

partyparty's avatar

How can anyone insist you love them?
Love comes from the heart, and if it isn’t there, it just isn’t there.
It can’t just appear as if by magic!

lucifer's avatar

Be careful before you reject a person. I suggest you don’t do it outright. Often, when we’re smitten by someone, we fail to notice all others. Just think about how you’d feel if you confessed your love to the person you liked and they just flatly refused. Agree to meet him/her and if they seem sincere enough, consent to go on a friendly date (if you want, take a few friends along just to be on the safer side). Often, people don’t come across as attractive/interesting on a “first-impression” basis. Instead, like fine wine or caviar, they tend to grow on you and you may even find that you’re having a good time with them. Who knows ? Even if you don’t feel like committing to a romantic involvement, you may have gained a good friend.

Also, by affording them a chance, you ensure you don’t end up hurting their feeling as well. :)

Cruiser's avatar

Tell them you are flattered and thank them for telling you and then be honest that you are just not interested, they are not your type, you are already taken, married etc.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’ve had people purport to love me and insist I love them, meaning they tried to convince me I really did share their feelings but was holding back or whatever and that made me cringe and want to put more space between us. Psycho. If someone ever insisted I love them back in that they were demanding I give love back just because they were offering then I’d tag them as a big PSYCHO.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’d be honest with them and tell them I didn’t love them. If they kept insisting, I’d tell them one last time that I didn’t and then I would leave and not have contact with them again.

perspicacious's avatar

You don’t have to do anything. If you don’t love them, you don’t. I would tell them and since they sound strange I would also stay away from them.

YARNLADY's avatar

In a familial relationship, this is quite common. Alienation of affection can be cased by many factors, such as jealousy or separation anxiety, but for two adults it’s much easier to deal with.

When one person does not feel the same level of attraction to another, simply avoid them. After speaking to them and making it clear you do not feel the same attraction, leave.

Pandora's avatar

When you want to rip their heads off more than you want make love to them. A person can be attracted to someone they hate if that person is really attractive.
But I would really need to know the whole situation. Is it a marriage that seems to be disolving, meaning that at one time love was there but hard times is making it hard to see what is left in the relationship or is it a divorce couple and one simply won’t let go. Or is it an acquaintance that has stalker written all over their face.
Sometimes a person can see that the love in the relationship is still their but daily stresses has confused the person because they aren’t ready to handle it at the time and won’t allow themselves to feel anything at the moment. Wouldn’t mean they hate the other person but that maybe they feel they have to table any complicated feeling for now.

Cruiser's avatar

Darn good answer @Pandora

shoebox's avatar

when you hate that you love them

Tina823's avatar

Just follow your heart, if you do not love him, just tell him right away. It is quite common in relationship!

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