Social Question

jca's avatar

Do you think the internet makes it easier for people to be "players?"?

Asked by jca (35979points) October 9th, 2010

I ask this because I come across men sometimes on the internet who make no secret of being married, but yet they are looking for something on the side. I’m not talking about dating sites, because i have never been on one. Any social networking site – Facebook, Fetlife, etc., finds many people of all genders who admit to being married but it seems the internet makes it easier for them to pursue something clandestine on the side.

That part is not a revelation. I am wondering if you feel that these people would have been “players” regardless, or do you think the internet makes it easier and more attractive for people to “put themselves out there” in a way that before the internet would have been fairly hard to do?

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18 Answers

Seaofclouds's avatar

I think the internet makes it easier for them, but they would still be doing it even without the internet. I’ve met people like that and I always wonder why they are married if they are out looking for things elsewhere.

Trillian's avatar

Probably yes, it does make it a lot easier by opening so many doors and creating opportunities.

Your_Majesty's avatar

Internet is internet. You can be anyone and do whatever you want as long as you do it in internet.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Easier and broader, yes. Like others say, cheaters and players will be who they are no matter what but the internet gives access to more playgrounds.

wundayatta's avatar

The internet makes it easier for everyone to meet people. Including players.

Yes, they would be players anyway. Maybe not as successful.

Coloma's avatar

The internet ‘player’ crowd is just using the perfect format for someone obsessed with fantasy anyway.

I have not pursued dating sites for several years now but had plenty of situations where I had to remind someone after a few emails that they were far too into the fantasy of me without any basis in reality.

Beware of those that think you are ‘all that’ after a couple email exchanges. Scary indeed!

Mikewlf337's avatar

Yes and the internet also makes it easier for people to be douchebags….well they were douchebags before the interenet… but now they don’t have to worry about repercussions.

Coloma's avatar

@Mikewlf337

LOL….aaah, truisms!

CaptainHarley's avatar

No doubt about it, the Internet makes it far easier.

Blackberry's avatar

Yes, but some people can do that without the internet.

Frenchfry's avatar

I know it make a certain doctor too. LOL

Coloma's avatar

@Frenchfry

What? What do you mean?

Seaofclouds's avatar

I think she is referring to a certain person on here that likes to ask people about sex, even though he is married.

Coloma's avatar

@Seaofclouds

OOOH YES! Got’cha!
I know of the ‘doc’ myself. haha Made short work of those little intrusions when I first joined.

Wow…guess he gets around ey? lol

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Yes, the internet makes it easier for people to have ‘safe’ romantic/sexual relationships. In my limited experience, it is a mix of men and women, married and single, as well as those who would ‘play’ anyway and those that are more introverted and find comfort behind an avatar. Women seem more open about their marital status, whereas men are more likely to lie, at least at first or until they get caught.

wundayatta's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer I don’t know if your generalization (about women being more open about marital status), but I was always open, and that didn’t seem to be much of an impediment. They’d go traipsing down the trail explaining how immoral it was and they weren’t the kind of women who did this, and they’d do it anyway. It was difficult for me to believe, because I did believe they were women with strong characters—people I’d trust with my life (and one of them actually did save my life).

Well, I don’t really understand it. I don’t fully understand what any of us were doing. All I know is that I was falling into hell while I was doing that. Funny that. Sinning and going to hell, just like Christians believe. But I confessed and was helped to climb out of hell by people who cared deeply for me, despite the way I’d hurt them.

None of it could have happened, I don’t think, without the internet.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@wundayatta It isn’t a generalization. It is based upon my limited experience, as well as that of my SO’s.

Coloma's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer

I have had similar experiences, so I would agree with you, it does SEEM as if men are more duplicitious when it comes to their marital status often.

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