How can I let go of this anger and stop it from ruining my relationship with my boyfriend?

I need some advice. I dated my boyfriend four years ago, for four years, and he broke up with me suddenly when he started a new job, and started hanging out with a different group of people. He lied to me, and gave me the run-around for a long time, before we officially broke up, and after we did break up, he immediately started dating someone else that he worked with, and he lied to me about it and strung me along, by calling me to “hang out”, for a long time.

This was the most painful thing I have ever ever gone through, and it lasted for about 3 years, until we got back together.

One important detail of this whole situation, is that when we first met, he was using drugs, but I didn’t know about it until we were dating. I also was very naive, and I didn’t know anything about drugs, and I was in a very confusing and upset time in my life for several other reasons, such as my parents’ divorce, so I started doing them with him.

The drugs, of course, were fun at first, but then began to tear us apart. He couldn’t/wouldn’t stop, even after I did, and begged him to. That was when he started lying to me, and doing them behind my back.

Thankfully, somewhere along the line after we broke up, he decided to get his life together, and to stop the drugs, and eventually, to get back together with me.

However, there was an extreme amount of damage done to me emotionally, concerning the way he treated me, and the other girls he dated and lied about, and the small town we live in, which lends itself to a lot of talk.

It was a horrible and mortifying time for me, as he essentially abandoned me, and then made me out to be “crazy” to the girl he was seeing, and the other people he worked with. (At least that is what I was told by others).

The girl he was dating, became extremely jealous of me, treating me like I was the “other girl”, when in fact, she actually was, seeing as how we were together for almost 5 years. She harassed me, and even sent herself a text message using my phone number, saying horrible things, and then showed it to my boyfriend, claiming I had sent it. He even bought it at first, and called me and told me never to speak to him again.

There are so many more details, but the issue here is this: He and I have been back together now for 6 months, and we really do love each other, and he has apologized to me for what he did. However, I am finding, that I just can’t seem to get over what he did to me, even though it was in the past, and he treats me so much better now, and is doing the right thing. My anger comes out of me randomly, especially when I drink, and then he gets angry at me for bringing it up, and it escalates into a fight.

Why can’t I just let go of it, and leave it alone?

We went to a concert last night, (our first together) and I got really drunk, and apparently ruined everything, by telling him what he did to me, those 3 years, and arguing with him on the way home. Now he is really angry at me, and vows never to go to a concert with me again. And I am just really hurt all the way around. I apologized, and I really am sorry. I am so upset that I ruined our night, and I don’t even remember it.

I’m worried that I will never get over this anger. I could say I’ll never drink again, but that is just unrealistic, and it still doesn’t fix the fact that all of that anger is still there.

Have you ever had to get over this sort of hurt and anger before, and still able to make a relationship work with the person who wronged you? Is it even possible? I don’t want this to damage our relationship any more than it already has.

Please help.