[NSFW] What are your feelings, associations, judgments, or other thoughts about masturbation?

I’m not asking about how you feel about masturbation. I don’t want to hear it feels good, or you are for it or against it. I want something deeper and more thoughtful. If you are very uncomfortable with the topic, I’d rather hear that it makes you uncomfortable and you can’t talk about it directly.

Even more important to me is what helped form your attitudes towards this topic or towards masturbation itself. Were there religioius messages? If so, what were those messages and how did you interpret and/or internalize them? Same with what your parents did or didn’t say—how did you internalize their feelings on the subject?

Did you ever feel guilty about it. Do you feel guilty now? Do you judge yourself for liking it too much or too little? Does it bother you that you use porn to help you? Do you sneak it into your life? Are you totally comfortable with it? If so, how did you get past all the negative messages about it?

Or, as I think of it, what is your own personal story about masturbation—the story that describes your feelings and explains where they came from?