Why am I terrified of going to court even though I have done nothing wrong?

My ex-husband passed away 12 years ago leaving our son a trust fund which I am guardian of. Since he turned 18 I need to go to court for a final release of my duties as he now is of age and is in control of his remaining assets.

As my husband wished (not in writing- he died unexpectedly without a will) I ensured that our son had an excellent education, attending private school and having extracirrucular sports that he would not have been able to have without his trust. He is now in an excellent University and on the deans list. He has worked hard and I am very proud of him.

Even though every penny spent was on my son for some inexplicable reason I am terrified to stand in front of the judge. I am obtaining duplicate records for the expenses and will type out reports. Adding to my angst some of the older originals appear to have been lost in a move.

The local judge is known for being extremely unpleasant. (he has been on the family court bench for many decades- I suppose I would be jaded too after seeing some of my friends messy divorces) and I don’t want to go in looking terrified.

I cannot afford a lawyer to do this for me and have to do it myself.

Has anyone ever been through this?

I do not have any idea what to expect.

Can anyone give me any advice here?