Has anyone lost a loved one to suicide?

Hey guys…
I was wondering if anyone has lost a loved one to suicide, and how you guys coped? What helps? I’m not a religious person, but a spiritual one. Sometimes, I’ll read stories on NDE’s when a person close passes away, it seems to settle the earthly anxieties. I haven’t searched so much for NDE’s involving suicide, but I guess I could try. My heart and soul know that he is OK, but sometimes it’s hard for the head to accept in “this life.” He left us on April Fools, and I wish I knew why???