Did you initiate a breakup with someone you loved?

[Warning—do not assume this question is about me]

A couple are involved in an affair. Both are married. It is a wonderful, wonderful thing, but also very painful because they can not see each other much. It’s just impossible to arrange.

One of the members of the couple is going on vacation with their spouse. The other, who is emotionally drained by all this sneaking around, proposes that they not communicate over the vacation. The other member of the couple will be able to reconnect with their spouse and fix the marriage and maybe this will be good bye.

Two weeks pass, and they have not contacted each other at all. One member of the couple is disappointed. Maybe the relationship wasn’t as close as they thought it was. To test this, they propose a further extension of no-contact, to see if the other person will agree to it, and if so, to seriously work to complete the breakup.

The person who initiate the separation doesn’t really want it, for they know they will be miserable. But maybe is for the best. Maybe the other didn’t care as much as they thought.

They really don’t want to break up. Yet they pushing it forward, hoping to be stopped and hoping to end it, too.

Have you ever done anything like this, where you are torn about what to do?