Have you ever felt truly alone?

So looks like my “best friend” actually doesn’t want to do anything with me, we were gonna chill today with a couple other pals but when I show up everyone avoids me like the plague. These were people I thought were close enough for me to spill to that I’ve been depressed and suicidal for a long time. Almost immediately noticing the avoidance, I say, “well I’ll be going now,” and leave, to which everyone immediately acts relieved. Ha ha ha, These were the last people that I felt some connection with, can’t do anything with my parents without seeing their looks of disgust, so family is out of the picture, can’t even lean on them. So now I have no one. Don’t say I got other flutherites because I really can’t lean on something or someone I see as simply just a passing face. And as some of you remember me as formerly Winters, I still intend to keep my promise of holding off from suicide until next April unless by some miracle I can get better persay….

Well enough with my fucking pity party ranting. Anyone else ever been in a similar boat where there’s not a single damn soul out there who wants to interact with you in any way?