How can I change his mind?

Three months ago I got drunk, said some stupid things and broke up with my boyfriend for no reason. Since then I have been scraping and clawing for his attention to no avail. I’ve tried apologizing, offering him attachment free sex, tried to make him jealous and a bunch of other things. I know those were all stupid things to do, but no one said I was smart in this department. He completely ignores me no matter what kind of trouble I find myself in (car broken down, dad died and still nothing from him…) in the last six weeks we haven’t spoken at all. I haven’t tried to talk to him or see him, but we pass each other in traffic or the grocery store every day. I’ve tried to move on but I can’t get him out of my head. I’ve even spent a good deal of time praying I could stop thinking about him, drinking and having a boatload of casual sex hoping I’d get him out of my head. No matter what I do, he gets shoved back into my face. So my questions are 1) is this some sort of punishment or gods way of saying I should be with my ex again? 2) how can I get my ex to talk to me again? 3) how can I go about getting him back? I’ve dated other people but no one has compared. I’ve determind that the only way I can be happy again is to get some closure on our relationship or get back together.

Please save the “you’re better off, move on” type answers. I’ve tried and haven’t been able to. I want to fix what I messed up, not start over completely.

Any kind of advice or ideas are appreciated. Thanks!