How hard is it for you to say "no," especially in personal relationships?

Do you feel a pressure to be kind and not say “no?” Women: have you ever declined a boy who asked you for a date? Was it hard to do? How far will you go not to hurt someone’s feelings?

My wife was brought up not to say “no” out of respect for the effort it takes a guy to get up the gumption to ask someone out. I find this odd because none of the girls I ever asked out seemed to have any reluctance to say “no.”

Saying “no” can be difficult in many situations, though. I was once a door-to-door canvasser and we were shameless in using that knowledge—essentially often getting people to give us a minimal contribution just to get us to go away without them having to say “no” to our faces.

I think it’s probably easier for men to say “no” than for women, who seem, in general, to be brought up to not want to create any friction between people. That seems to be a generalized cultural value, anyway.

Were you brought up not to say “no?” How hard is it for you to say “no” these days? How uncomfortable does it make you? Let us know if you are male or female when telling us what it is like for you.

On the other side, when someone says “no” to you, do you persist? Do you take “no” for an answer? How far do you push it before you believe the person really means “no” and will not change their mind?