Help me defeat Instant Messenger glitches?

I’m having a heck of a time with instant message servers.
-MS Live randomly blanks out posts on both sides
-Google Chat bumps me offline frequently during a conversation
-Facebook Chat knocks my partner offline so he can’t see what I write.

This is beyond frustrating, as the glitches happen at the most inopportune times and IM is our primary means of communication.

Is it something in my settings? Does anyone else have these issues? Or can somebody suggest a better IM to use (not Skype, please)?

My system information:
OS: Windows Vista
Browser: Google Chrome
Extensions: Ad Block, Awesome Screenshot, Facebook Disconnect, Facebook Chat Sidebar Disabler
Firewall: Windows (windows defender disabled)
Running: AdAware, Maxa Cookie Manager