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Do you think it is better to marry your "ideal mate" or someone imperfect that you have a history with?

Asked by Paradox1 (1179points) January 11th, 2012

Let’s say you had a choice. You could marry someone just the way you want them. Maybe you like brunettes (or whatever if you’re a female), and you want someone very attractive, and this person has all the other attributes you want and are looking for in a mate (smart, funny, good personality, etc.). The only condition is that you can only get to know each other for up to one year before the wedding.

OR you had the choice of marrying someone whom you either dated in the past or whom you’ve been friends with for many years and thus you have a history together. Maybe you came from the same small town, went to school together, or maybe you worked or traveled together for an extended period of time. Maybe you went to the same high school. Let’s say that the “history” you had together was significant and that you know this person quite well but whatever history that once brought you together is in the past. Now you are attracted to this person and you get along very well (which you know), but they are not your ideal choice for a spouse (if you could hand-pick someone), but they make you happy.

Who do you marry? Is the idea of your perfect spouse the greatest thing you can attain or does history count more? Assume that everything else would be constant, including money. If you’ve ever seen the movie Invention of Lying, you know what I am getting, and am essentially asking the same question.

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