Can monogamy be learned?

I am in a monogamous relationship, but my opinions of what is and what is not okay in a monogamous relationship never seem to match up with what most people feel.
I have never really been in a monogamous relationship before my marriage, so all of my past experience tends to strengthen what I already felt. Jealousy has never really been an issue for me, I’m not jealous by nature. I believe that humans are human, and that we are often guided by instinct and biology.
To me, monogamy simply means not sleeping with other people, or not forming sexual relationships with other people. Pretty cut and dry. But, I am learning that most people don’t feel that way. That monogamy is far more than that.
I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. Am I supposed to not want my husband to flirt with other women, even though I honestly don’t have a problem with it? Am I supposed to be jealous, just because other people are? Am I supposed to feel comfortable with other people’s jealousy, even though I disagree?

Is this possible to learn?