How can I stop using men and relationships to fill an empty part of me I don't know how to fill ?

Asked by partyrock (3870) February 7th, 2012 from iPhone

Lately I’ve realized I have been using men, relationships, love, and sex to fill an empty part of me. I would like honest advice about this. I feel like there is always a constant emptiness and I want my other half. I long for a happy, healthy, long, stable relationship with a gentleman. All of the men and people in my life are very positive, intelligent, sweet, and kind. I’m not dating or seeing any assholes or jerks (except for that one guy who said I needed to lose 15 pounds, but that story has ended). I don’t know what I can do to get over this. I have a social life, great friends, great family, I guess I need a stronger sense of self and confidence. At this point I feel like I WANT to fall in love and I’m ready for it – but I know there are issues I need to work out. But at the same time I want to protect my heart from being hurt so I distance myself from people. I’m very safe and I’m not sleeping around. Having sex or dating a bunch of men grosses me out too.

I just feel desperately like I’m ready for it and I deserve it. I feel lonely and I hate feeling that way. I feel like all I want to do is get married and have kids. But I feel a strong emptiness since I don’t have these things. Can anyone give me advice?

Please no “Just see a proffessional! Or – See a therapist” comments… I’d like personal honest opinions about this.

I long for having a loving significant other in my life. I long for doing simple things with my love like going to the movies, the beach, encouraging each other, laughing, etc….. Yes I do all these things with my family and friends, it would be nice to do this with someone I was romantically in love with.

I sometimes think maybe I got too used to being with my ex, which I was with him for a year and a half. We broke up in Sept 2011, so maybe that’s why I think I need/want a similar relationship.

I think about making love with someone I love, I think about being a mother, I think about being pregnant and how I would raise my child, I think about how I would love to fall in love and be there for my partner, all the time….I’ve been horny a lot too for the past 3 months. I’m single now, and I have no idea what to do with myself.

I do have hobbies and I do keep busy, so no comments like “just keep busy or just do hobbies”... Thanks. Anyone asking about my family issues or patent issues, my family is great and both my patents were awesome growing up.

I don’t want to be hurt and put pressures on people for who I want them to be. I fall in love easily, I get attached easily. I don’t know what to do.

I get horny all the time and when I can’t have sex it makes me lonely and mad. But when I am making love, I get scared Im getting attached and u want a deep solid relationship. Someone help and give me some honest insight.