Send to a Friend

realisticality's avatar

Move away, or stay close to home?

Asked by realisticality (45points) February 22nd, 2012

So I’m currently living on the east coast and I am graduating college this year. I want to move to California and work for a relative who has a creative business that I really enjoy working in, and my boyfriend still has another year to go in school because he’s in a 5 year program. My job search has been futile as of late, and if I don’t find a job and stay on the east coast, I will be forced to work for my mother as her receptionist and be stuck under the constant watchful eyes of my family members.

However…while I am interested in going to California because doing so would allow me to work under my relative in the field I’m passionate about, I am terrified of leaving behind all my friends, family, and boyfriend of 4 years. My grandfather passed away about a 1.5 years ago, and my grandmother tends to get lonely easily. I’m afraid that..What if I leave for California, and something happens to her because I wasn’t around to be with her? I’m one of her favorite grandchildren and seeing me go across the country would really break her heart. I’m not too worried about my parents because they take care of themselves well.

I’m also worried about my relationship with my boyfriend. We’ve already been in a long distance relationship the last 3 years, and while we’ve gotten used to being far apart for months at a time, we still feel the happiest when we’re together. We know we want to be together in the long run, and have often spoken of our dreams for our future together. Will moving across the country and the additional miles change our relationship for the worse? I’m hoping it will still be the same, since he will still be in school for one more year. I was planning on perhaps working in California for one year, and make another decision after my boyfriend graduates whether or not to stay in California or move back to the east coast. In all truthfulness, I’m scared that I might not want to move back to the east coast. Every time I visit California the feeling of wanting to stay gets stronger because I love everything there. However, my boyfriend isn’t very inclined on moving there for various reasons—family, financial, etc. He said that he doesn’t mind moving there later on in life when he is able to, but I’m not sure when that will be…Or perhaps depending on where he finds his job, I’ll move to the city he wants to stay in? I’m willing to relocate for him, but I’m terrified that if I do go to California and decide to stay because I’ve settled down and grown roots there, it will end our relationship, and I don’t want that at all. If only I knew the future :( I want to believe in the strength of our relationship and that we’ll stick together, but it’s hard if I wedge about 2000 miles in between us :(

What should I do? Stay for the sake of my family and boyfriend? Or move across the country to start a new life and do work that makes me happy? I just don’t know what to do. Perhaps just stay with my original plan, go for a year, and decide again later?

Using Fluther

or

Using Email

Separate multiple emails with commas.
We’ll only use these emails for this message.