What's the price of admission for your relationship?

One of my favorite people in the world, Dan Savage, writes a column about relationships and sex. Many years ago, he started using the term “the price of admission” to describe the stuff you have to put up with in a relationship that you don’t like, but aren’t dealbreakers.

For instance (although he didn’t use the term himself), here’s an excerpt from a recent column:

Question: I have a super-hot, considerate, caring girlfriend with a high libido with whom I share many long-term goals. The problem is that she bugs the shit out of me. She chews with her mouth open, she listens to music I dislike, and she swears at inappropriate times. I’m in my mid-30s and not sure what I should do. Settle?

Answer: We have something in common, ST: I once met a guy who was super-hot and caring and considerate, a guy whose libido matched my own and whose long-term goals aligned with mine, and who just so happened to bug the shit out of me.

Here’s what I did: I married that motherfucker.

My husband still bugs the shit out of me sometimes, just as I doubtless bug the shit out of him sometimes. But there’s no such thing as a bug-free boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/unicorn/gimp/whatever. LTRs are about identifying the bugs that some caring and consistent prodding can fix—like that chewing-with-her-mouth-open shit—and accepting and finally learning to ignore the bugs that no amount of prodding will ever change.

And take it from me, ST: Hot, considerate, caring, similarly libidinous, and shared long-term goals isn’t a package that comes along every day. You could do a lot worse.

The bad music, chewing with her mouth open, bugging the shit out of each other—that’s the price of admission. What are you paying?