What's something I can do to stop feeling depressed?

Alright, so basically I can usually supress any emotions or depressed feelings I have but I can’t lately, it’s all around crap with relationships. I know its stupid and pathetic but it wont get out of my fucking head.

The problem is that I’ve been around for 18 years, only had 1 relationship, and I ended it because I knew the inevitable truth. I’m not the image of physical perfection scociety wants, I’m pretty far from it. I have the right personality, the chivalry and all the crap that make me the “perfect boyfriend” type, but I’m held down by my phisical apearence. It took someone who had made shit choices her whole life to finally take an interest in me when I was 17, and that’s the only one.

The relationship was probably something that wasn’t designed for someone my age, the side of me that I found out how deep it really was made it intense, and we were almost a perfect match, and it was basically extremely hot and heavy, we got along in every sense and it was full of sexual energy, i imagine this is something that probably doesn’t happen until people are older.

I ended it because I knew someone better would come along, and chances are I’d fade out fo the picture so I just ended it, and that’s been everything since. The only other person I thought might be interested in me showed the itnerest in the typical douchey “perfect” kind of guy, so that ended that.

For some stupid reason, I can’t get over these crap feeling I have, staying in school is fucking hell seeing eveyrone all happy and with people and me by myself as usual, and it’s probably going to be the rest of my life. I know I’ll probably be alone, and when I am alone working with technical stuff I can be kind of happy, but I don’t graduate for a couple months and this is living hell, and I don’t know how to get over it this time, it makes me want to just give up and stay alone doing stuff with computers since thats the only way I can not constantly think about this in the day.

sorry for the long read and shitty explanation, I just do’t know what to do, all my usual ways of suppressing these things isn’t working this time. Not being able to controll this is fucking weak and pathetic, I mean, all I can do it ask strangers on the internet, how pathetic is it that I’ve sunk this low.